"Why Do You Want To Work For Us?" - Employer at Job Interview, 'Because You Pay Money'
*Phone Rings*
*Somone at your house picks up*
"Hello--Hello?--Hello?--- Hello? ---Hello? Hello? Hello?" - Person who just picked up the phone and to their utter amazement nobody says anything each time they say hello at which normal rational human being hangs up after two 'hellos' and gives up on the person on the other side of the phone, but through sheer stupid determination they continue asking hoping after the 13th hello someone identifies their self.
"Welcome to (Various Fast Food Establishment), would you like to try the new Southwestern Super Duper Calafradulishicexpyaladocious Mushroom Swiss Burger?" - No I would not, what I would like is to tell you what I want and you to make note of it and not for you suggest things to me like I'm some child that can't make up his mind.
2 comments:
I’m sitting on the toilet. Waiting for something to happen. One of those days.
The door handle rattles as someone tries to get in.
He tries again - shaking the door this time as if it might be stuck.
I say nothing.
The door handle is tried, noisily, a few more times.
I say nothing [I’m busy, for Christ’s sake, and embarrassed].
“Is there some one in there?”
I say nothing.
He rattles the door again - just to make sure that he hadn’t made a mistake before and that it was unopenable - “Hello! Is there some one in there?”
I say nothing - fervently hoping that he will go away - that a brain cell, deep in the cosmos of his skull - will collide with another one.
He stands there outside the toilet for minutes, asking if there is anybody in here.
Eventually
I say
“Of course there isn’t. Some one scaled up the outside of the building, squeezed through the six inch gap of the window, locked the door just for a laugh, and left the way he got in. OF COURSE THERE IS SOME ONE IN HERE!”
Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!! Classic, bill. That's gold.
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