Wal-Mart: Now Slanging Caskets

I shit you not. For a small fee of $1200 you too can buy your final resting place along with your groceries at the same place. If you're in the 12 items or less line and you've got a shopping cart full of a couple greasy fattening things that might kill you, you can actually eat those artery-clogging items guilt free because you can buy the pine box to put your dead ass in.

All seriousness aside though this a great idea for their company for once. Everybody knows funeral homes rape grieving families for all they're worth in one of the most vulnerable times we have to unfortunately find ourselves in. The mark-up of caskets into four and five times what Wal-Mart wants is legalized robbery. So while I hope that neither your nor I or anyone I know has to be in the business of buying one anytime soon, just know that if you do, maybe you can consider Wal-Mart's low low prices too.

(Link)

Man Diving Has The Most Unfortunate Accident I've Ever Seen

Man Splits His Face Wide Open Diving [WARNING VERY GRAPHIC]

If you can watch this without so much as flinching, then you are better than me. This is brutal.

Brandon Jacobs Running Brain Urlacher Over In Tonight's PreSeason Game

And now a brief message from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals:

Trying to stop Brandon Jacobs is like trying to stop the world from spinning.

A fully grown rhinoceros running at 100 miles per hour has almost as much force as Brandon Jacobs when he passes the D line.

If you're ever in public and happen to see a Brandon Jacobs running down the road run to the nearest phone and contact animal control.

According to animal planet 52 recorded deaths per year can be allocated to collisions from the force of running into a Brandon Jacobs.

Bonus: Jim Rome talking about how tough Brandon Jacobs is on the radio.

Bill O'Reilly On Michael Jackson Last Night

O'Reilly is a complete jerk. *shakes head*

This Man's Acrobatic Sense Is Better Than My Everything

There's probably a reason God made it so he can do these things and I can't. I'd find some way to abuse this gift for bad purposes.

This Is The Worst Commercial of 2009

Absolutely terrible.

Anthony Anderson Breakdances @ A Recent Knocks Game

This just raise his respect level from me ten fold. Let's see, did a movie with Aaliyah? Check. Did a movie with Jim Carrey? Check. Plays on one of my favorite television shows on air right now? Check. Breaks out the breakdancing randomly on the sidelines and cuts a rug surprisingly well for the big dude? Check.

Impressive.

13 Year Old Boy Is Father Of Newborn

BOY dad Alfie Patten yesterday admitted he does not know how much nappies cost — but said: “I think it’s a lot.”

Baby-faced Alfie, who is 13 but looks more like eight, became a father four days ago when his girlfriend Chantelle Steadman gave birth to 7lb 3oz Maisie Roxanne.

He told how he and Chantelle, 15, decided against an abortion after discovering she was pregnant.

The shy lad, whose voice has not yet broken, said: “I thought it would be good to have a baby.

“I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me $22 or so.”

Alfie, who is just 4ft tall, added: “When my mom found out, I thought I was going to get in trouble. We wanted to have the baby but were worried how people would react.

“I didn’t know what it would be like to be a dad. I will be good, though, and care for it.”

Alfie's story, broken exclusively by The Sun today has sparked a huge political storm with Tory leader David Cameron saying: "When I saw these pictures this morning, I just thought how worrying that in Britain today children are having children.

"I hope that somehow these children grow up into responsible parents but the truth is parenthood is just not something they should be thinking about right now."

I'd laugh but this is seriously messed up and shows a lot wrong with the world we live in. This kid doesn't have a chance. Just around the time this 13 year old is turning 30, this kid will be grown and looking to go to State. "College? Negro I'm trying to buy a starter house."This is real life "Don't be a Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood" stuff.

On the flip side, you have to wonder what they'd be saying if these kids were black. Regardless of color it's a sad commentary on parenting, values and what's being permissible in today's households. Without being too preachy and prudish, I will close this by saying my values are clearly different then this family's values. My values are the only values. I believe my way to be the right way, but not the only right way. But my way wouldn't lead to this mess. That's for sure.

Rare Footage: MLK Predicting President Barack Obama's Presidency (1968)

Certainly not dead on by any means but his foresight was generally within range of how the events that followed occurred. Perhaps General Colin Powell could have brought his vision to fruition in the nineties.

I won't flood the blog with too many more President Obama posts because it's not like everybody isn't already following this closely enough without me and every other talking head out there only further drumming readers over the head with their stories and tidbits and opinions. You know how I feel and you know my sense of pride. Let's honor the day by looking and moving forward getting back to optimizing our own usefulness.

KFC Earns Todays 'Wow Of The Day'

Nothing more to say but me and the Colonel can't be friends after this foolishness. How condescending of him.

Craigslist Babysitter Used Toddler In Porn Film While On The Job

MINNEAPOLIS - A man has pleaded guilty to answering an online advertisement for baby-sitting work and then using the client's child to make a pornographic video.

In a plea deal with federal prosecutors, Aaron Jay Lemon admitted Wednesday to producing the video. The 23-year-old from Little Canada, Minn., also admitted to coercing a minor to engage in sexually explicit conduct.

The plea agreement says Lemon filmed the child in St. Paul after seeking the baby-sitting job through Craigslist. St. Paul police say the victim was a 2-year-old girl.

The U.S. attorney's office says the case was part of a project that encourages agencies to investigate the sexual exploitation of children over the Internet.

The office says Lemon faces a maximum of 30 years in prison.

 It's crazy that dude can't be given more time than 30 years. I just hope that he doesn't get to see day two in jail and that the inmates administer the justice the courts couldn't deliver.

Wow @ This Kyle Orton Looking Dude Singing

You really really can't judge a book by it's cover because this dude right here is pretty good. Check dude out...





Dude > 98% of singers in the game. Real talk.

Gully

Sarah Palin interview today where her incoherent rambling isn't even the biggest reason this video is brutal but the nonchalance of the animal slaughtering in the background. Even the guy in the background is only half into what he's doing. He's probably more into the spectacle that is a Sarah Palin verbal train wreck. Who amongst us can look away from an accident?

My Frustration With The Bengals For Winning On Suday And Messing Up The Unperfect Season

Just switch Miami Dolphins with Cincinnati Bengals and Baltimore Ravens with Jacksonville Jaguars and you got my feelings on the Bengals jacking up the 0-16 season I had so hoped for them. They had to fuck it up and with it maybe the number one pick in April's draft.

NFL Reebok: Fantasy Files Clips

I'm probably late but it certainly would have been helpful to see these clips before I drafted my fantasy football team. It would have probably made a difference as I would have selected Chris Chambers, Andre Johnson, and Neil Rackers.

Chris Chambers:



Andre Johnson:



Neil Rackers

Can Someone Please Tell Me Sarah Palin is a Fucking Joke, Please!

I mean she can't even name a news publication when given several opportunities.

Sarah Palin Is a Massive Idiot; A Category 5 Moron

The latest Sarah Palin interviews.


Watch CBS Videos Online




Tonight's Top Ten List in a bit.

22 Year-Old College Student Selling Virginity ($250,000 Minimum)

Offers Pouring Into Student Selling Her Virginity

A Sacramento State grad is trying to make money the old fashioned way, by auctioning off her virginity to help pay for her graduate studies. And so far, bidding is up to $250,000.

The 22-year-old who is using the pseudonym Natalie Dylan for safety reasons is going through a legal brothel in Nevada to sell her virginity. "The main purpose of this is to finance a couple things in my life," Dylan told CBS13. "I think empowerment of women is picking yourself up and doing something on your own to better yourself."

Dylan says she's already taken a polygraph test to prove her virginal status, and is also willing to undergo a medical exam.

The auction will take place at the Bunny Ranch in Carson City, Nevada with bids coming in through their website. Owner Dennis Hof tells CBS13 that eBay rejected the auction, so he'll handle the entire process.

Hof says Dylan is a bright, beautiful young woman who's going to consider a number of factors in her decision because she wants her first time to be a positive experience. "Natalie is a very smart girl. All she wants to do is get her master's degree in family and marriage counseling and be a psychologist. She's selling her virginity to accomplish that," Hof told CBS13. "She's smart enough to sell it. This is empowering her."

So far, hundreds of offers have already come in including some from male virgins. Natalie says she won't give up her virginity to the highest bidder. She's also seeking other qualities from her first lover. "I'm looking for intelligence and an overall nice person," said Dylan.

Hof also says Natalie Dylan ended up in a financial bind, because her stepfather allegedly used her college status to fraudulently apply for student loans, and then ran off with the money.

Dylan earned her bachelor's degree in women's studies from Sacramento State and plans to get her master's at the school beginning in January.

Many Sac State students say they're shocked to hear about their former classmate's plan, while others applaud her.

"She's just giving it to some random person. And I just think she should be giving it to someone special she loves," said one student on campus.

While another felt that selling her virginity for grad school "is a noble reason to get money."

As for Natalie, after claiming to hold on to her virginity for 22 years (although the Bunny Ranch website claims she is 21-years-old), she says she has a commodity not many people have to sell.

"When I was younger, I wanted 100% romance, possibly even wait for marriage. But as I grew up, reality kinda hit. And I think its a capitalistic society and I want to capitalize on this," explained Dylan.

She may be passing classes but her father failed.

Economy got otherwise educated women selling ass. Times are hard. Bush ought to be ashamed.

LPGA Player and Model Anna Rawson Gives Out Cell Phone Number To Fans

LPGA player and model Anna Rawson is probably the first athlete to give out a cell phone number for fans to leave messages and text.

According to the Alabama Press Register, Rawson has found a more personal way to connect with her fan base.

"Only four weeks old, the number — 213-785-7675 — allows her fans to leave personal messages. She said she has started listening to the messages and is going to return some of the calls.

She added she likes the personal touch of the cell phone contact with fans and believes it's a more personal way to keep in touch with them than mailing an autographed photo.

The 5-foot-10 beauty hopes to gain a few more golf fans this week in Mobile as she competes in the Bell Micro event."

Anybody that visits my website and actually calls this woman's phone number is dishonorable. If you don't get the girl's number honestly than you haven't earned the right to call her.

Props to Rawson for doing something original though to help her sport and up her sportperson identification.

Unbelievable Obama Invesco Field Scene In 3D

Go here.

Incredible Scene.
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In other news via the good folks at Barack O'Blogger: Funny how Karma works isn't it? The Conservative Group 'Focus on the Family' prayed for "rain of biblical proportions" to come down during Barack's speech tonight at Invesco Field.

But the skies here are clear, sunny, and blue.

Instead we have the strong possibility of another Gulf Coast hurricane during the Republican convention.