Saturday, February 28, 2009

A Cop In Seattle Beats Another Black Kid

15 Damn Years Old, Too.

Funny that when the Primate spazzed out like this earlier this year in Connecticut they shot it. Maybe this cop should get the same treatment.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Celtics Officially Sign Stephon Marbury (God Help Us)

Celtics president Danny Ainge confirmed that guard Stephon Marbury has signed a contract.

The two-time All-Star is now undergoing a physical and is expected to attend a closed practice at TD Banknorth Garden at 5 p.m. before tonight's game against Indiana.

It remains uncertain if Marbury will be in uniform tonight, but given that the Celtics have just 11 players in uniform, it's possible that they may need him to suit up in case of an emergency situation. He will wear the jersey #8.

This is awful awful news. I'm predicting now that within a week Stephon Marbury will turn into David Ruffin. Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett will probably walk into his hotel room one day on the road and this scene will ensue:

God help us. :(

Russell Simmons Is Getting Raped

According to reports Russell Simmons has been ordered by a judge to pay a reported sum of $40,000/month plus buy a new car for Kimora Lee Simmons every three years.

This is sad sad news how women can get you but let this be a cautionary tale of making sure you've got the right one before you settle down and have kids and put a ring on a woman's finger and enter into that kind of a commitment. Especially in these economic times this becomes even more a depressing proposition. In any case, I've taken the time out of my otherwise busy day to come up with a list of things that are cheaper than what Russell is paying his ex monthly:

*John Thompson III (Georgetown)
*Sean Miller (Xavier)
*The Crooked Ass Cop With The Moustache In "American Gangster"

*Turner Gill

*A Gallon Of Gas
*The Value Of 30 Foreclosed Houses

If that wasn't bad enough just read what this money has bought him:

Russ has agreed to pay child support for daughters, Ming, 9, and Aoki, 6, of $20,000 each per month until the girls turn 19, according to court papers filed in Los Angeles on Los Angeles

Kimora will retain sole legal and physical custody of the girls, with monitored visitation for Simmons.

“When the children are in [Simmons's] custody, they shall be accompanied at all times by a nanny and security detail.”

Russell also agreed to provide a new car, worth at least $60,000, for the children’s use, until they turn 16. It must be replaced every three years…

Russell, with respect, you lost sir. The truth is you needed better attorneys. In fact if I was you I'd probably buy some new attorneys to take your old attorneys to court for malpractice. I mean the fact is, if you had paid your original attorneys like you're now paying your ex-wife you wouldn't be paying your ex-wife an NBA bench players salary. You're rich though Russell and you're pinching pennies over lawyers? That's weak. Even if you were trying to cut back in this economic environment you cut back on Yoga classes or tofu and rice cakes that I know your hippie ass is into, what you don't cut corners on is lawyers. Those kinds of people are important. Ask OJ what a difference makes when you have the cream of the crop and when you have the JV team. Go ahead ask him, just don't expect him to get back to you very soon as I hear jail mail takes a couple weeks to make it through processing coming and going. About now is the time to make room for you on that list of people having the worst 2009 along with Rick Ross and Chris Brown and we're only 2 months in. Get it together.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Wednesday's Woman: Freida Pinto

You've seen her in Slumdog Millionaire, or then again maybe you haven't. Maybe you've avoided the movie altogether because it's a low budget foreign film. Maybe you've avoided it because it's getting too much hype. Or then again perhaps you're avoiding this because it has subtitles and Lord knows movies with subtitles can be very very annoying. With the exception of Passion Of The Christ which did not contain one word of English for the duration of the film but I own nevertheless. Let me say this though, if you're avoiding the movie on any of the grounds which I just named or any other smaller reasons than I beg of you to reconsider. It actually is a pretty good movie, no lie. So stop sleeping and go see it with your girl and tell her The Honorable 'Sass told you to. Now the biggest reason possible to see this though is Freida Pinto. This woman might be the Indian Lauren London. Just a classic beauty in the purest sense in this new school of young up and coming starlets. I don't throw out Lauren London comparisons but this chick quality wise is that good. Am I out of order for saying this? I can't say I am because I've seen this movie now twice because of her after I did everything but swear on my grandmothers grave that I wouldn't give in and watch this film. Am I out of order? You tell me.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Tuesday's Top Ten: Gayest Photos In Sports In The Past Year

LOL, this one is just for fun and since I haven't done a Top Ten list in a while I've got to hit my stride again and so I'll start with something light and something we can all agree on before I start going too far in my own opinion and post a controversial list. To the people that helped pick out the pictures I appreciate it. You know who you are, LOL. Rather than give paragraphs on each picture, I'll just name each picture.

10.) "Oh No He Didn't

9.)  "Broke Back Raptor"
8.) "Me Wuv You At The Wong Time
7.) "You Won't Want To Touch this Ball After I Get Done With It
6.) "Carrying Your Team On Your Back Or A 6'4 Guy With His Thumb Up Your Ass, What's The Difference, Really?
5.) "Homies Over Hoes
4.) "Magnet In My Ass
3.) "See This Here Is My Man. I'll Cut Any Of You Bitches Fa Him. Gimme Some Sugar, Boo
2.) "Can I Be Your Tennis Ball?"  (Courtesy of Jamie Foxx & Serena Williams)
1.) "If I Was A Squirrel And It Was Winter, I'd Take Your Nuts And Keep Them Warm

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

High School Squabble Turns Into A Free For All In Alabama

Obama elected in January, Black people moved forward. Then this Happens In February and we go back to where we were. We picked up a "Go To Jail" card because of this video. We do not get to collect $200. We lose a turn to roll the dice too.


(Link Courtesy of Our Good Friends Over @ TheGrip)

"Dear President Obama": The President Reads 10 Letters a Day from the Public, With Policy Ramifications

The letter to President Obama came from a woman in Arizona whose husband lost his job. He was able to find work, but the new gig came with one-third the pay; the family is struggling to make their mortgage payments.

The letter from the Arizona woman illustrated a policy conundrum, recalled senior adviser David Axelrod. President Obama read it, and absorbed the lesson.

"She said they had made all their mortgage payments, but were running out of money," Axelrod said. "And they were told they could not renegotiate unless they were delinquent in their payments."

Before President Obama's housing speech last week, he'd made copies of his letter and "sent it to his financial team and said, 'This is the kind of person our housing plan should help," Axelrod recalled.

The president had other copies made of that letter. He had it distributed to staff on Air Force One.

"He had been struck by how powerful the story was," White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said. "He wanted us as we were creating policy to make sure that we were listening and hearing these examples as well."

Ht_letter03_090222_blogEvery day President Barack Obama is handed a special purple folder. The folder contains ten letters, and every day President Obama takes time to read them.

Are they from world leaders? From members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff? Members of the intelligence community?

No, these letters have been culled from the thousands the White House Correspondence Office receives each day from Americans who have taken the time to sit down and write to their president.

"They help him focus on the real problems people are facing," says Axelrod. "He really a absorbs these letters, and often shares then with us."

In his first week in office, President Obama requested that he see 10 letters a day "representative of people's concerns, from people writing into the president," recalls Gibbs, "to help get him outside of the bubble, to get more than just the information you get as an elected official."

Says Axelrod, "he did it because his greatest concern is getting isolated in the White House, away from the experiences of the American people...The letters impact him greatly."

Some recent examples, according to aides, include a letter from a businessman who owns a manufacturing company and says he finds it very difficult to lay off employees who have done nothing wrong. If things don't improve, the correspondent wrote, he'll have to lay off 10% of his workforce.

Another letter came from a divorced senior citizen raising a grandchild on a fixed income, including Social Security. She confessed to being depressed and scared.

A third came from a realtor who urged the president to do something about the large number of foreclosed properties. A fourth was a plea for help from an unemployed truck driver.

Monday through Friday the head of White House Correspondence delivers ten letters to be read by the President, choosing among letters that are broadly representative of the day’s news and issues; ones that are broadly representative of President’s intake of current mail, phone calls to the comment line, and faxes from citizens; and messages that are particularly compelling.

Ht_letter02_090222_blogSome of these, maybe two or three each day, the President responds to in his own hand.

Gibbs says that before two different economic speeches, the President "pulled letters he has gotten and distributed them to staff, to understand what people were going through."

The vast majority of the calls coming into the White House, and over a third of the faxes have been on the stimulus package and the economy, so up to half of the letters the President sees are on that broad subject. Aides say that many of these correspondents also have other complications: bankruptcy due to health care, lost job, lost opportunities for their children.

A smaller number of the letters address other issues, such as the environment, health care, education, foreign affairs, or nuclear proliferation.

And a handful, usually no more than five a week, are from people who have a simple supportive message or inspirational story to tell.

The head of correspondence also includes letters to the President from smaller children who ask questions or give advice.

More Free Food

In a shocking turnabout, not one restaurant is offering free food this week, 2 restaurants are offering free food this week. IHOP (International House Of Pancakes) are offering a free short stack of pancakes or in plain English three pancakes for free between the hours of 7AM-10PM EST. I advise you all to get up on this. I know I will. I messed around and missed the Free Denny's Breakfast earlier this year but I shall not miss out twice.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Free Quizno's Sub Here

Sign up for your free Quizno's sub at this link. Remember I'm not guaranteeing it to be good or nothing. I've never had one and everybody I talk to tells me they'd rather die than eat a Quizno's sub, free or otherwise so you're taking a chance here but hey, these are tough times we're in economically. It's real in the field.

If you get a free sub today tell me, good or bad, your experience with the sandwich. Clearly it won't be as good as Subway and anyone who says so will get their IP address banned from here. Think I'm kidding? LOL, try me.

Thanks to Havoc.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Officer Roseland Band Will Pay YOU $1 To Download Their Album

Apparently if you have a Paypal Account and have access to a computer to download it, than you have the potential to be a Dollar Menunaire.

Enjoy this Stimulus Package.

P.S Yes I did sign up too, LOL. A dollar is a dollar.

New Black Jesus Episode: "Thugs For The Lord"

Black Jesus stepped up his game with this one.

Chris Rock - "You Can't Beat White People At Anything, Ever"

I just realized it's been Black History Month for three weeks and I haven't made any posts to the subject so accept this hilarious Chris Rock video as a down payment for what I owe you it being February and all. Chris is being real here.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Allen Iverson A.K.A General Cornrow Wallace Getting A Haircut

LOL @ him looking like Mr. Glass in the middle parts of this video but jokes aside this is a good look for him and hopefully will signal the end of a hairstyle that has long jumped the shark. He was the last of 'Rowicans and if he got them cut everybody is on a 30 day notice from Pusha T of Clipse to Stevie 'Fadeaway Hairline' Wonder. No exceptions. From the stingiest of braids to the longest hangtime we need to step it up as black men. If you think President Barack Obama would look anything other than a clown on the world stage with cornrows in a trip of foreign diplomacy to the Gaza Strip or in front of the G-8 council than it should hold yourself to the same standards. We should leave this this decade. Let's not take it into the next decade. We must put aside these childish things. Kudos A.I.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

13 Year Old Boy Is Father Of Newborn

BOY dad Alfie Patten yesterday admitted he does not know how much nappies cost — but said: “I think it’s a lot.”
Baby-faced Alfie, who is 13 but looks more like eight, became a father four days ago when his girlfriend Chantelle Steadman gave birth to 7lb 3oz Maisie Roxanne.
He told how he and Chantelle, 15, decided against an abortion after discovering she was pregnant.
The shy lad, whose voice has not yet broken, said: “I thought it would be good to have a baby.
“I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me $22 or so.”
Alfie, who is just 4ft tall, added: “When my mom found out, I thought I was going to get in trouble. We wanted to have the baby but were worried how people would react.
“I didn’t know what it would be like to be a dad. I will be good, though, and care for it.”
Alfie's story, broken exclusively by The Sun today has sparked a huge political storm with Tory leader David Cameron saying: "When I saw these pictures this morning, I just thought how worrying that in Britain today children are having children.
"I hope that somehow these children grow up into responsible parents but the truth is parenthood is just not something they should be thinking about right now."

I'd laugh but this is seriously messed up and shows a lot wrong with the world we live in. This kid doesn't have a chance. Just around the time this 13 year old is turning 30, this kid will be grown and looking to go to State. "College? Negro I'm trying to buy a starter house."This is real life "Don't be a Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood" stuff.

On the flip side, you have to wonder what they'd be saying if these kids were black. Regardless of color it's a sad commentary on parenting, values and what's being permissible in today's households. Without being too preachy and prudish, I will close this by saying my values are clearly different then this family's values. My values are the only values. I believe my way to be the right way, but not the only right way. But my way wouldn't lead to this mess. That's for sure.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Trailer For New Denzel Washington Movie "The Taking Of Pelham"

Been waiting for this for a while. It looks real good too. I'm paying money to see this.

Just Look At The Evidence. Am I REALLY A Kobe Hater? By Bill Simmons

I should say this from the outset: I am not purporting to have authored this but seeing how I agree with 97% of it and what with this being my site and all I see reason enough to post this here. It's a long read but a decent one and you can take from it what you will in whether you think I hate Kobe Bryant or not. For what it's worth if it were up to me Kobe Bryant would be the MVP of this season if it ended today almost solely because of him knifing through the big boys in the East since the start of February like a Geisha Warrior. He didn't have the best numbers every night, he didn't do it the most efficiently way possible, he didn't take on a one man band show in those wins as Odom and Gasol definitely stepped their play recently too but Kobe really rallied his team in the wake of Bynum possibly being done for the year and made a statement to the league that this Lakers team will not roll over and die. He willed them to win those games and if you're a fan of basketball and your love for the game surpasses your resentment of the man than you should and have to appreciate him and his efforts when everybody but him were ready to write his squad off before they even gave them a chance. Kudos Kobe.

That said, enjoy the article, if it's wrong, explain to me rationally where it goes wrong and see if we can't straighten out one of us, either me or you, if we're on opposite sides of the Kobe divide.

Look at the evidence. Am I really a Kobe hater? You be the judge.

I am a Kobe Bryant hater. At least that's what Lakers fans tell me. When Mamba exploded for a house-record 61 points in Madison Square Garden recently, they probably thought I rooted against him. (Which I did, but only because I love Bernard King, the old record-holder.) I even received a few "Can't wait to see how you put this one down!" e-mails afterward. (Which I will.) But it got me thinking: For sports purposes, what does the word "hater" even mean?

In the case of Simmons v. Bryant, it can be interpreted in one of five ways:

1. I always see my Kobe glass as half empty. I enjoy disparaging his abilities, rooting against him and reveling in his failures. When he succeeds, I look for ways to discredit him. In short, Kobe cannot win with me. I am his antifan.

(Not true. I loved watching young Kobe; his 2000-01 season remains sublime for me. When he carried a dreadful Lakers squad into the '06 playoffs, I pushed for him to win MVP. One week before the 61-point game, I wrote on an chat that Kobe was my clear-cut No. 2 MVP choice, behind LeBron James, and marveled at the way he has refined his offensive game; with his knees slowly fading after almost 1,000 NBA games, he added a deadly fallaway and learned to pick his spots on drives. He still gets his 30 every night, just with less wear and tear. Shrewd. Believe me, I am not an antifan.)

"Three assists and no rebounds. Talk about a team guy."

2. Kobe has become such a polarizing player and person that if you aren't rooting for him, it means you're rooting against him. Look at me and The Mag: I'm a hater, but they give him print lap dances twice a year. Two extremes.

(I don't think this is true. If anything, it's dumb to assume that either extreme reveals a personal agenda.)

3. Kobe is the best NBA player and has been for some time. If I'm not willing to admit this, then it can only mean I hate him.

(Even dumber.)

4. I don't like him personally, which affects the way I think of him professionally.

(I will admit to being slightly guilty here. He hasn't been the greatest teammate this decade, both on and off the court. It's been documented ad nauseam, even in books by people paid to coach him. When he accidentally injured Andrew Bynum's knee recently, I found it interesting that Kobe's reaction was more "Crap, there goes my title!" than "Oh, no, my teammate is hurt—I hate seeing him in pain!" I also thought he quit on the Lakers during their deciding playoff games in 2006 [against Phoenix] and 2008 [against Boston]. Those are my main issues. They have never stopped me from evaluating him fairly.

5. I hate Kobe. Like, I really hate him. If I were driving and saw him crossing the street, I would run him over.

(Hmm … that would depend on whether I was driving a stolen car and the hit-and-run couldn't be traced back to me. Just kidding. This is not true.)

Of those five hater theories, only No. 4 applies to some degree. But there's a huge difference between being perceived as a hater and actually hating someone. The hater gimmick sprung from the Internet, where bloggers and message-board posters rip people to shreds on a daily basis. It's a logical tactic: If you want to cause a splash, but you're not talented or funny and lack an interesting take, what's left? You attack. As those attacks turned more and more venomous, the most common counter to them became, "You're just a hater."

Now it's one of the most misused words in the English language. We hear it constantly. Because I've written negatively about Kobe over the years, and because I root for the Celtics, the hater jury convicted me without a trial. I can no longer write about him without hearing I'm just a hater. My opinion has been invalidated for everything Kobe. Any Lakers fans familiar with my column probably saw this topic, winced, said to themselves, He's hating on Kobe again, then read it anyway—even though I'm not a Kobe hater, and do not I hate him.

Here's what I don't understand: Only final scores are black and white in sports. There are shades to everything else. That's what appeals to us. In Philly right now, they don't know what to make of Donovan McNabb's career. Is he underrated? Overrated? A winner? A leader? Handicapped by a lack of talent? In need of a fresh start? Or is everybody picking nits because it's freezing cold and the Eagles haven't won in a million years? There isn't a right answer. And so Philly fans argue and argue about him, but really, it's kind of fun. That's why we like sports in the first place. We like arguing about this stuff. What the hell else would we do?

Kobe's 61-point game represented the best and worst in basketball.

That's how I feel about Kobe.

I like watching him and arguing about him. I like being bothered and thrilled by him. And I really like when he plays like Michael J. Fox instead of The Wolf. See, I was weaned on the Bird era in Boston: the joys of making the extra pass, not caring about stats. Kobe's 61-point game represented the best and worst of basketball to me. His shotmaking was transcendent: a steady onslaught of jumpers, spin moves and fallaways made in his typically icy style, as efficient an outburst as you'll ever see. On the other hand, his teammates stood around and watched him like movie extras. In 37 minutes, Kobe took 31 shots and another 20 free throws. He finished with three assists and no boards. He may as well have been playing by himself on one of those Pop-A-Shot machines.

A friend of mine, a lifelong Knicks season ticket-holder since the Bradley era, e-mailed me afterward: "That was the worst night maybe of my life in the Garden. How horrible it must be to play with Kobe. He was signaling constantly to his teammates to get him the ball. THREE ASSISTS AND NO REBOUNDS. Talk about a team guy." Another New York buddy was so distraught that Bernard's 60-point Garden record fell so ignominiously—with Kobe's padding his stats against a reprehensibly bad defense as a shocking number of fans chanted "MVP!"—that he e-mailed me the next day: "I literally didn't sleep last night." A third friend was there and swore that Kobe eyeballed Trevor Ariza after Trev made the mistake of swishing a 24-footer in the fourth. And yet, the national reaction seemed to be, "Wow! Kobe scores 61! He's unbelievable!" Spike Lee even called it "genius." (Move over, Einstein and Mozart.)

Really, it was the defining Kobe game. He elicited every reaction possible from lovers, haters and everyone in between. When LeBron arrived in New York two days later and notched his amazing 52/9/11, he didn't break Kobe's new record but definitely cheapened it. LeBron's 52 came in the flow of the offense. When the Knicks doubled him, he found the open man. When they singled him, he scored. He dominated every facet of the game. It was a complete performance, basketball at its finest, everything we ever wanted from King James. And it happened 48 hours after Kobe's big game … in the same building. Crazy.

I've been comparing those two games ever since. Never has basketball seemed more simple to me: I would rather watch a 52/9/11 than a 61/0/3. I would. It's really that simple. It's a matter of preference. So don't call me a Kobe hater, call me a basketball lover.

And if Kobe ever put up a 52/9/11, yes, I would love him, too.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Wednesday's Woman: Maíra Britto

Aaliyah aside this is arguably the finest Wednesday's Woman I've yet brought to you guys. I know this is black history month and I know I'm going crazy for Brazilians but this one right here, RIGHT HERE? She's worth it. This is like a hybrid of Paul Patton, Halle Berry and Rosario Dawson all rolled into one Portuguese speaking other worldly creature. She's been featured on Big Brother Brazil but who here in this country watches that right? She's 26 and she doesn't know it yet but she's going global today. This is too much to be confined to just Brazil. Lady Liberty be damned if America is going to be left out while this is going on in another time zone without our knowing. So I took the liberty to figure out a way to bring her to you all reading the blog.

Maíra Britto

I mean this woman is so fine that when you put her in a picture with two other women that would be passable for something to look at at work or in the doctor's office the other women just look ugly in comparison. Don't believe me, try this out. Take your hand and just cover up Maira and just look at the other girls like Maira doesn't exist and tell me if they aren't at fairly decent or at least you upgrade them a notch over where you had them when you initially saw the photo. LOL

Just Saying...this photo looks like Michael Jordan playing with a bunch of scrubs.

Anyway I been alienating the female readers of this site this year for the most part and I am going to get back to more meaningful posts and conversation centerpieces but Brazil is too strong to ignore right now. They need a month more than black people right now. We got a black president. We got the NBA. We got Mike Tomlin. We're doing alright right now. What do we need a Black History Month for? We need a spotlight on our Brazilian sisters down there. They're being virtually ignored. Seems like I'm one of the only ones keeping them in the game here.

If you don't know now you know.

Monday, February 9, 2009

CK Louis On Being White

If you're not up on CK Louis at this point you're pretty much hurting yourself. What better way to start your week off then with a laugh. Enjoy.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Barack Obama Trash Talking During The Audio Reading Of His Book

This is absolutely hilarious. I've always wondered what it would sound like if I heard the President use the n-word. Now I'm not naive enough to think that NO president has ever used the n-word before. I'm pretty sure W has, Reagan definitely has as his policies were made solely to make life difficult as possible for black people, Nixon might have used the n-word, not sure and then probably everybody else before that (including Lincoln) but to hear an actual black president use the word and nto be offended after hearing it is in truth pretty cool. LOL. This just made my year and it's only February. I thought maybe Barack would sound funny usuing the word and I was wrong. He sounds like an everyday black guy like myself when he uses it. Why I would think it would sound otherwise, I don't know. Keep in mind that this was said in a context of him reading the dialogue of one of his friends talking to him. Just so people don't think Barack is walking around the White House and abusing power and kicking it like Alonzo from Training Day. Even still this is enjoyable to hear. The internet is a wonderous place though. Truly.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Wednesday's Woman: Rachel Blanc

If there's one thing I love in this world, it's Brazil. I think anybody that knows me in real life or on this blog they know that much about me. If there's one other thing I love in life it's models. Therefore naturally if there's two things I love in this life, it's Brazilian Models. Damnit, I can't help myself. My blackness can't resist gold skinned women with junk in their trunks and so Brazil for me is like light to moths if you will. I blame European colonialism for this though. Brazil is a country full of people that look like black people, both light and dark, and for all intensive purposes in this country would be considered black here too because of the African heritages of the country's slave descendants that mixed the roots of indigenous people, slaves and the white Portuguese and so naturally American black people specifically can't get enough of Brazil's women. It's all science, son.

I speak Spanish and English but I'd trade both languages in to speak Portuguese which is the official language in Brazil given by their Portuguese conquistadors. Damn shame too. I mean I really need to get this Rosetta Stone Portuguese Program on my computer like yesterday. Regardless, by the time I'm thirty I'm going to know Portuguese I guarantee and I'm going to put it to use when I go to Brazil. AIDS or no AIDS in that country I'm going down there on the big 3-0 and I'm going to have a good time because hopefully by 2014 we will have a cure for it. I'm banking on it for sure. There's no reason on God's green Earth that Magic Johnson can have HIV for nearly 20 years and every time I see him on television he gets stronger and stronger. We can cure AIDS! And we need to cure AIDS. I'm not getting any younger, Brazil ain't getting any more beautiful and 30 will soon be here so we need to get the best scientists in a huddle, get a game plan cracking so I can live out my dreams and so that men like me can keep the Brazilian dream alive!

Yes We Can!

Brazil/'Sass '14!

Now that I've vented I give you one of Brazil's finest, Rachel Blanc...

 Precious Lawd, Please Take My Hand....I'll be back later. I need a cigarette after this post.