Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Top Ten: Most Underrated & Overrated Beauties In The Entertainment World

Today's list is very simple and to the point. On this day, we cut through the malarkey and stop the bullshit that permeates pop culture and manifests itself as accepted knowledge. Underrated women of the entertainment world get their come up. Overrated women getting over are getting called out. So this is going to be a two part event it's going to be so big. This post is a double album. I'm going to drop the first disc right now and the second disc around dinner time so don't forget to check back later for the B-Side.

Without any further stalling let's get into it. As described, the first list is a collection of women underrated and under appreciated in pup culture. I didn't make the list in order of most beautiful but rather took in consideration beauty, lack of attention and notoriety and size of the egregiousness of the slight that these women get in the entertainment business for whatever reason. Anyway it was a complicated formula but one which took me a while to rank the ladies so if nothing else respect my process and the fact that there was method to my madness.

The Underrated Beauties

10.) Roselyn Sanchez - I only put her this low on the list because of the women on this list she's had some of the greatest mainstream success and acceptance but she still deserves more spotlight and media focus based on her stunningly gorgeous looks. Hispanic women are grossly underrepresented in film and television and it would go a long way towards ratifying that problem and making me happy by putting her in more projects. Kill two birds with one stone. Probably the dopest Latina on the scene and doesn't get near the facetime Eva Longoria or Eva Mendez gets. This is a crime against humanity if I ever saw one.

9.) Persia White - I'll give you this much, Persia in the eyes of many is nuttier than squirrel shit, but that's no excuse for her not to be known beyond the faint whispers of some in black circles and environmental/animal advocacy sectors. I think she's of the prettier faces in Hollywood and I'm tired of seeing lesser quality women pass her over and gain opportunity and stature before Persia gets her chance. Cut and dry. Give this woman more face time if for nothing else, then for the betterment of the male viewing public.

8.) Haylie Duff - Look, I'm high up on Haylie because I have a soft spot for brunettes with pretty smiles so this is right up my alley. Truth be told her nose is a little long but I don't give a damn because there's something about her that just won't quit to me. I know people think Hillary Duff is the better looking sister but I beg my blind brothers and sisters to reconsider. Check the pictures I'm dropping as living testament to your misgivings and erroneous ways. I beg you be baptized in the waters of Haylie and have your sin washed away. God bless her parents for making her and 'Gotdamn America', word to Jeremiah Wright, for not holding her down more often. I'mma pray for you nig'ras.

7.) Rashida Jones - Very very cute, girl next door type chick. Of the mold of so many light skin 'around the way' type girl we all grew up with. Seems lovely enough although you never see or hear much about her. There's n0 justice in Hollywood. How she's not on everybody's list is beyond my understanding.

6.) Famke Janssen - Jean Gray is the only thing I know her from and y'all know that's a shame. I know Hollywood can do better than that. Anyway, she was the finest chick in the X-Men movies, sorry but she was even finer than Halle Berry in those movies, it's just an empirical fact. I wouldn't even know the woman's name had it not been for google, wikipedia and a lucky break from God. That shouldn't be. Any woman that went out like Eminem on Jay-Z's Renegade and murdered Halle on her own shit and I still can't remember her government name is just a global injustice that needs correcting. Famke is fine.

5.) Elise Neal - This woman is fine and at the age of 42 you might call her something of rarity in the . If you don't think she's bad then, I believe the great philosopher, I think his name was Riley Freeman put it, 'Nigga, you gay.' The body is crazy. Face is pretty. She's humble. She's grounded and you telling me you have to make the leading black lady for every movie Nia Long or Gabrielle Union. We only get 3 every two year. (For the record the Sanaa Lathan features get NO complaints from me, I ain't crazy, lol) More Elise, less bullshit please.

4.) Jennifer Connolly - Everything concerning Jennifer is on point. Of all the Jennifers in the business, pound for pound, she's the dopest. I know I'm spitting against the wind here and going against popular belief here but anyone you put up in my mind ain't comparing with J.Co. Anyone Lopez. Garner. Love-Hewitt. Ball game. She's like the Marvin Harrison of Hollywood Actresses. She just quietly goes about her business, flies under the radar and stays on point. I see you Jenny even if others got glaucoma.

3.) Katie Holmes - I always get those alien looks from people when I bring up Katie Holmes as one of the lifelong crushes of my childhood but fuck y'all. Katie is masterful. Tom knew what was up. Even if he did turn Katie into a weird recluse on some shit similar to how Erykah Badu be doing niggas I'm still going at Katie the minute she break up with Tom. I fucked with Dawson's Creek, don't tell nobody or I'll fucking kill you, because Katie was a on that show and moreover she was a believable main actress actually work captivating the audience's attention and having the other main characters beefing over. I loved Batman Begins because she was worth Batman simping in it the whole time for. The Dark Knight was a masterpiece but they dropped the ball not resigning Katie. No wonder they killed the character off in this one. Anyway, Katie's from Ohio, and to Ohio she shall return when her marriage dissipates and I'm rebounding like Dwight Howard if she come anywhere near Cincinnati. Until then stop sleeping on Katie.

2.) Kate Winslet - Classic beauty. Gorgeous proportions. Natural look. Some out there need to stop sleeping. Look -- I went 24 years without seeing Titanic and as far as I was concerned would have been perfectly content going another 24 without seeing it or calling it a life and doubling up another 24 and going 48 years without seeing the damn overhyped movie but last week I watched it and set my Television to remind me of it coming on just because I realized she was in it. Where have I been right? Anyway I saw another film she was in, Little Children, go see that by the way, and she's cemented her place with me. Men need to stop sleeping and start giving just due where it's deserved. She's nice with hers.

1.) Erica Christensen - Even though I can't readily name anything else she's been in other than Swimfan, I've been patiently awaiting for more anything from Erica. I mean anything. At this point, I'd sit at my computer for 2 hours straight and watch a straight to youtube video movie taped from some grainy cellphone footage if she's in it. I'm desperate. She's absolutely gorgeous. She appeals to all my negro sensibilities. LOL. She reminds me of a Julia Styles only way hotter. You can't find shit with her in it though. It'd be easier to find a black person at the GOP convention. It'd be easier to sneak up on Bigfoot mid-stride and take his picture than catch Erica in something. What has this woman done to deserve the banishment Hollywood's put on her? Too attractive? You'd rather have some ugly Cate Blanchett type hit bitch headline a movie than her? This is a not a world of taste apparently. Not at all.

Dopest chick you've never heard of.

Honorable's Mentions
April Scott
Sarah Silvermann
Chante Moore
Soledad O'Brien
Leeann Tweeden

The Overrateds coming up later....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sarah Silvermann?... Honorable mention?... you've got to be kidding!... she needs a kick in the pants!