Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Nearly 60 Percent Of Black Childen Can't Swim

(MSNBC) NEW YORK - Nearly 60 percent of African-American children cannot swim, almost twice the figure for white children, according to a first-of-its-kind survey which USA Swimming hopes will strengthen its efforts to lower minority drowning rates and draw more blacks into the sport.

Stark statistics underlie the initiative by the national governing body for swimming. Black children drown at a rate almost three times the overall rate. And less than 2 percent of USA Swimming's nearly 252,000 members who swim competitively year-round are black.

To the surprise of nobody this study comes out and people hardly bat an eye. I don't think I even heard or read this in the news last week when the study was published. Black people can't swim. Big whoop. Black people and water have never been friendly. Black women will kill someone if they get their hair wet (I know this one first hand as my sister almost caught a case when we were younger and I came at her with a Super Soaker.) Black people strangely don't find themselves victims to sharks very often. Why, you may ask? Because you have to be in the ocean, quite a ways from the beach and no we don't venture that far out. We're either somewhere in air conditioning ignoring summer or if we are outside, we're concentrating more on the women than the wild and waterlife. Damn Media Outlets and News Companies could have came to me if they wanted the real inside track on things black people don't do for less money if they really want to get an inside perspective into black people, but here's a small sample of the data I offer

Dangerous Things Black People Don't Do:
  • Own wild pets outside of pitbulls. (i.e Tarantulas, South American/African Snakes)
  • Ride Rollercoasters that go upside down or sideways. Too much risk of falling out.
  • Investigate strange noises at night. We just don't do that. Horror movies don't catch us slipping.
  • Eat what we don't recognize. If we can't readily identify something or we're unsure of whether it will kill us or not we usually err on the side of caution. If I have to offend you and not eat something that could give me a South Argentinian Rectal Bug, so be it.
  • Don't do X-Games stunts and tricks. The ground suits us just fine. There's nothing I can do in the air that I can't do on the ground. Besides, I love the faculty of all my limbs. I got too much living to do to be paralyzed. Imagine living the first 20 years of your life normal and without restriction and living the last 60 on a metal chair with wheels. Umm, I'll pass.
  • Camp. Nope. No way. No how. Having a toilet, HBO and air conditioning is always better than squatting behind a bush in a hole in the ground with the threat of a spider crawling up my asshole. Going to sleep, with the very real possibility of a live ensemble of Disney characters that might pop up while I was resting would keep me up all night.

Take it from me, an actual factual Negro that all of this is based on proven scientific evidence. Black people complain all day about a whole host of real problems and some made up nonsense but we'd much rather live in a world somewhat against us then be dead and have more problems than the ones life gives us and the ones we perceive. Real talk.

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