Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Chinese Man Dies Trying To Catch His GF After She Attempts To Jump From Her Apartment Balcony

A Chinese man was killed last night after trying to catch his suicidal girlfriend as she jumped from the seventh floor of their Quanzhou apartment building in south-eastern China.

The young man, only identified as Wang, tried to break the woman’s fall by holding out his arms, witnesses said. He was killed by the impact of her body landing on top of him, according to Perth Now.

His girlfriend survived the fall, suffering only from bone fractures and other injuries. She was not in critical condition and expected to make a full recovery.

The couple had quarreled before Wang went to the street below to try and persuade his girlfriend not to jump. It was unclear if she plummeted from a ledge or out of a window.

Hospital staffers say the woman appears confused and doesn’t know how she fell.

LOL, this story was dumb even by the internet's standards. So wait, I'm supposed to catch you because you said "Goodbye Cruel World"? Nah. I came up in the game on cartoons. I know what happens when Bugs Bunny drops heavy objects off from great distances above. Daffy gets squashed and the dude is rocking an accordion for a body afterwards. You can only imagine what would happens to a human body in real life. You end up looking like a half squeezed roll of toothpaste. I'd probably stand underneath my girl on some emotional shit for like two seconds after she jumped and right before she hit the ground I'd tell her "Nah, I got some more living to do, Asalamalakum". I wouldn't save her for the same reason I hate all murderous suicidal people: I got to die because your life is fucked up? You want me to go to because life pump faked you out. Life was gassing you from childhood like 'You're about to grow up and go to college and get a masters and you're going to run a business and become successful and sky is going to be the limit' and you believed life.

Now I have to die because life played you? Nope. You jump and you're depending on me to catch you, you're miscalculating. But look at it like this, I'll carry you with me though. No really, when you hit the ground I got some of "you" on my shirt and regrettably it was my favorite shirt. Thanks.

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