Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Tuesday's Top Ten White Dudes Who Got Hood PassPorts

This list is an homage to all the great white men who would have no quarrels going through the hood and can walk in any ghetto untouched based on their gully contributions to the black consciousness or understanding of our people. The list was actually very very long and it was hard to narrow this list down but I think I have the top ten so without much further mystery I present to you this week's Tuesday Top Ten White Dudes Who Have Earned Hood PassPorts:

10.) Steve Nash - On the strength that he could run the basketball court all day long he gets a hood passport. Put Nash on your squad and any five random scrubs and with all the no look passes and court vision he'd exhibit and you instantly got a winning team.

9. & 8.) Michael Myers & Jason Vorhees - I mean come on. There's not a person in the hood that could scare these two. In fact, a friend of mine from across the pond pointed out to me the fact that Jason actually walked through New York without any problems in one of those Friday the 13th joints. Straight strolled through back alleys and ayething like the shit was sesame street. As for Michael Myers, all I know is he's been shot, stabbed, electrocuted, blown up and arrested and he's still like fuck it. There's nothing in the hood that will deter Mike. They wouldn't be doing anything positive in the hood but than again most people there aren't either, unfortunately.

7. & 6.) Michael McDonald & Jon B - men who have done nothing but got brothas and sistas to settling down and making babies via soul-driven R&B for years. I mean these two you could put up against almost any of the greats the genre has ever seen. Michael McDonald remixes all the great timeless hits and does the justice to the originals that few can that leave you with a sense of how much he really respects the genre and it shows. As for Jon B. I don't care what you say, if you had a sister of the age of 12 or more in the 90's you know about Jon B. Even if you don't have a sister and you're not even as big a fan of the man that I am you still can't front and say you haven't a.) heard and b.) jammed to "Whatchu Say Boo" or "They Don't Know" and those are just two of his most well known songs.

The superlatives truly just won't stop on their own in adoration the black community can bestowe on the musical brilliance of these two so let me just say, I'd personally escort them into any hood in America myself and vouch for them.

5.) Tim Wise - The man drops knowledge. Very deep intellectual this man right here is. He's bold, honest and and is analytical in a way that others can't be. I'm sure certain white people think that this man is the 'White Uncle Ruckus' but they would only be saying that because they weren't being honest to and with themselves. In this video Tim speaks truth to power on 'how poor white people are duped into more closely identifying with conservative rich white people and voting against their economic interests than uniting with other similar economic demographics but letting something like race act as a hinderence to their own well-being'


4.) Ronald McDonald - The red afro comes into black communities everyday and serves billions for the low. The man has a resume that Marlo Stanfield or Avon Barksdale would have no choice but to respect. He's a hustler. In fact he rolse with muscle (the Hamburgular and Grimice) and also can be seen with a bird too. No joke, he kills everyday with his product but we can't deny him.

3.) Robert DeNiro - He's gullier than most, dates women that look like Michelle Obama almost exclusively and can be found in any black person's movie collection as he certainly is no stranger to my DVD player. The man has exhibited all the swagger most of us have tried imitating but never perfecting since we were youngins. he could walk down any
street in America and garner
respect. No doubt about it.

2.) Phil Jackson - The Zen gets in. If you wasn't fucking with Phil in the 90's with the Bulls then your blak ass was fucking with him this decade with Shaq and Kobe. He's been the gold standard in our generation among coaches in professional sports. No doubting that Phil is/was gully.

1.) Bill Clinton - He was the first black president, enjoyed black support all throughout the Lewinsky ordeal when he was toxic everywhere else. He gave the most moving speech at Coretta Scott King's funeral. He embraces black people (as long as they're not running against his wife which is understandable looking back at it). I mean the man even went on The Arsenio Hall Show. Can you think of any other politician that high up in the political stratosphere that would do such a thing.......and play his saxophone wearing some Locs. Plus his office is and has been in Harlem since he left the white house. Bill Clinton was/is a straight gangsta. We in the black community respect and admire him.


Anonymous said...

I guess all Black/African American women look the same to some people(whites). Robert DeNiro lady friend looks nothing like Mrs. Obama, while DeNiro's date is a very beautiful women, they look nothing alike.

The Honorable 'Sass said...

I wasn't saying she looked like Michelle in the face but more generally as in she's the same color as Michelle.