Sunday, August 30, 2009
Trailer For Jamie Foxx's Upcoming Movie "Law Abiding Citizen"
This movie looks EPIC. It looks like Taken to the second power. I recommend keeping an eye out for this one strongly.
Labels:
2010,
Jamie Foxx,
Law Abiding Citizen,
Movie Trailers
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Josh Howard/Josh Hamilton: Similar Plights But DIfferent Perceptions In The Sports Media -- Does Race Factor In?
I came by this article in an email from a reader suggesting I should post it and so I read it (really it only takes 10 minutes so don't be lazy. Do likewise) and it was certainly the most interesting analytical piece of social probing I've read sports-wise in a long time. Lots of good points made. All worth your consideration.
Josh I has 26 tattoos, some of which are demons.
Belying a stable, middle-class upbringing, he has a résumé littered with revolving-door drug and alcohol rehab stints. He's a former crackhead who's admitted to driving drunk, getting high and not having the faintest idea what he might have done or where he might have done it on countless foggy last nights. He recently—only after photos surfaced on the Internet, mind you—confessed to a boffo binge in January in a Tempe tavern that ended up with him drunk, shirtless, covered in whipped cream and having his crotch massaged by three semi-dressed women, none of them his wife. In the eight months between incident and enlightenment, he continued selling his autobiography—Beyond Belief—and telling his motivational tale of born-again sobriety.
Josh II also has tattoos, including one of his grandmother's name. His childhood included a father walking out immediately after his birth and his severely bowed legs being broken below the knees and reset twice before age 2. He had an uncle killed in a robbery, a friend murdered and a sister jailed for, among other things, spitting on a cop. He's guilty of handing out birthday party fliers during a playoff series, admitting to smoking marijuana, getting arrested for drag racing and spewing out a vulgar dissin' of the national anthem at a charity flag football event.
The sagas of both Joshes sparked emotional feedback to the Dallas Observer and my Sportatorium sports blog over the last year. A sampling:
Josh I: "American hero"..."more respect for him than ever"..."never said he was perfect. But he is forgiven"..."Give the guy a break. He screwed up, but got right back on track."
Josh II: "He's just a dumb coon nigger"..."Hanged"..."I wish he'd go back to throwing spears in Africa"..."I'll never watch him play. Ever."
Josh I, of course, is Texas Rangers' two-time All-Star outfielder Josh Hamilton. Josh II, obviously, is Dallas Mavericks' former All-Star forward Josh Howard. None of their transgressions has hurt anyone other than themselves. And, relatively speaking, Howard shoots a basketball on par with how Hamilton hits a baseball.
So what gives? While Howard incited harsh criticism from yours truly and from readers—vitriolic backlash that would make even David Duke blush—Hamilton's immunity has been perplexing. You can try to ignore, dismiss or simply deny the truth, but the reality is that Hamilton comes equipped with two major antidotes in his battle for a pardoned public image:
Religion. Race.
Cringe, or even exit onto Naïve Lane if you want, but the reasons Hamilton skates are his white skin and his Jesus shield. Sorry, but our mostly white media—yep, the finger is pointing at me—and mostly white fan base treat Hamilton more favorably than Howard.
But what if Josh Hamilton was black? And Josh Howard was white? For starters, Hamilton would be immediately portrayed by the media—Me? Guilty as charged.—as a "thug" or a "crackhead punk" while Howard would be "misunderstood" or "outspoken." Howard would also, apparently, have his sins rinsed by religion.
From Robert Tilton to Quincy Carter we've seen our share of religious hypocrisy. Generally when athletes start quoting scripture we roll our eyes—something about the higher we praise Christians the bigger the bruises when they fall. Hamilton's latest pothole has invoked within me a blend of sympathy and cynicism. But to most, not even a dash of disillusion.
Second chances may be color blind. But we aren't.
Human beings tend to identify with people who look like them or share similar environments. Doesn't mean we're all racists. But we are all racial. We're easily manipulated by religion and readily influenced by color. All things equal, we'll side with our own.
Depending on where you live or what you read, there remains segregation in sports. Around these parts, similarly temperamental black players are "volatile" and white players are "fiery." Right, Terrell Owens?
As it is, Hamilton is the most beloved recovering crackhead on the planet. He's somehow the victim; addiction the villain. His story is so touching, so good, that we're moved to treat his comeback from a self-inflicted mess as some noble triumph. What, Marlon Byrd has never been tempted?
In fact, I've been criticized for referring to Hamilton as, among other things, a hypocrite. Even though he's a man who used to do A, promised to do B, but has again been caught doing A, Hamilton is somehow Teflon. Even though hypocrite is his word, not mine.
From a July 2008 story in The New York Times: "If I didn't (stay clean and sober)," Hamilton said, "I'd be the biggest hypocrite in the world."
Apparently Hamilton also forgot the evangelical virtues about being honest and forthcoming.
From his August 8 press conference in Anaheim in response to the incriminating photos that would work seamlessly in credits for The Hangover: "I don't feel like I'm a hypocrite. I feel like I'm human."
At that point, isn't it hypocritical to deny being a hypocrite?
If Hamilton was black, I fear the focus wouldn't have so quickly and smoothly shifted back onto baseball.
The player who takes part in I Am Second commercials but one night decided to bat himself first wasn't booed in Anaheim, Cleveland or Arlington, but was coddled and cuddled as an imperfect, try-hard addict. Which is great news for the Rangers, because after Hamilton's better-late-than-never apology, he finally started hitting. (Ironic that for Texas to sustain its playoff push they need an on-field relapse from Hamilton to his early '08 form.)
A black Hamilton's hiccup would've still been news, because when a team in the thick of a playoff chase has its best player admit to a night in which he got drunk, blacked out and put himself in jeopardy of getting suspended or even killed, well, that's big news. But the media wouldn't have let this one dissolve in the glass of warm water known as God, forgiveness and "nobody's perfect." If Hamilton was neither Caucasian nor Christian, questions would be asked. Legit questions, like ...
Where did he go and how did he eventually get "home" after leaving the bar?
Are we supposed to believe that the three women, after drinking with Hamilton and licking whipped cream off his naked chest and vice-versa, didn't accompany him out the door to...wherever?
In the months after the incident Hamilton continued selling his book and witnessing to groups and retelling his tale to the media about being sober since October 6, 2005. Isn't not telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but, tantamount to lying?
If he supposedly was informed by Hamilton the day after the incident, why did personal chaperone Johnny Narron respond with skeptical disbelief when initially quizzed about the pictures?
Hamilton claims to have blacked out. Does it really make sense then for him to be apologizing for things he doesn't exactly remember and aren't we, in essence, forgiving him for things that are impossible to acknowledge?
What took so long for the eight photos to surface?
Is there a photograph No. 9? Perhaps a No. 10?
To most, Josh I comes off honorable. To some, Josh II will always be despicable.
Shame it's so black and white.
Belying a stable, middle-class upbringing, he has a résumé littered with revolving-door drug and alcohol rehab stints. He's a former crackhead who's admitted to driving drunk, getting high and not having the faintest idea what he might have done or where he might have done it on countless foggy last nights. He recently—only after photos surfaced on the Internet, mind you—confessed to a boffo binge in January in a Tempe tavern that ended up with him drunk, shirtless, covered in whipped cream and having his crotch massaged by three semi-dressed women, none of them his wife. In the eight months between incident and enlightenment, he continued selling his autobiography—Beyond Belief—and telling his motivational tale of born-again sobriety.
Josh II also has tattoos, including one of his grandmother's name. His childhood included a father walking out immediately after his birth and his severely bowed legs being broken below the knees and reset twice before age 2. He had an uncle killed in a robbery, a friend murdered and a sister jailed for, among other things, spitting on a cop. He's guilty of handing out birthday party fliers during a playoff series, admitting to smoking marijuana, getting arrested for drag racing and spewing out a vulgar dissin' of the national anthem at a charity flag football event.
The sagas of both Joshes sparked emotional feedback to the Dallas Observer and my Sportatorium sports blog over the last year. A sampling:
Josh I: "American hero"..."more respect for him than ever"..."never said he was perfect. But he is forgiven"..."Give the guy a break. He screwed up, but got right back on track."
Josh II: "He's just a dumb coon nigger"..."Hanged"..."I wish he'd go back to throwing spears in Africa"..."I'll never watch him play. Ever."
Josh I, of course, is Texas Rangers' two-time All-Star outfielder Josh Hamilton. Josh II, obviously, is Dallas Mavericks' former All-Star forward Josh Howard. None of their transgressions has hurt anyone other than themselves. And, relatively speaking, Howard shoots a basketball on par with how Hamilton hits a baseball.
So what gives? While Howard incited harsh criticism from yours truly and from readers—vitriolic backlash that would make even David Duke blush—Hamilton's immunity has been perplexing. You can try to ignore, dismiss or simply deny the truth, but the reality is that Hamilton comes equipped with two major antidotes in his battle for a pardoned public image:
Religion. Race.
Cringe, or even exit onto Naïve Lane if you want, but the reasons Hamilton skates are his white skin and his Jesus shield. Sorry, but our mostly white media—yep, the finger is pointing at me—and mostly white fan base treat Hamilton more favorably than Howard.
But what if Josh Hamilton was black? And Josh Howard was white? For starters, Hamilton would be immediately portrayed by the media—Me? Guilty as charged.—as a "thug" or a "crackhead punk" while Howard would be "misunderstood" or "outspoken." Howard would also, apparently, have his sins rinsed by religion.
From Robert Tilton to Quincy Carter we've seen our share of religious hypocrisy. Generally when athletes start quoting scripture we roll our eyes—something about the higher we praise Christians the bigger the bruises when they fall. Hamilton's latest pothole has invoked within me a blend of sympathy and cynicism. But to most, not even a dash of disillusion.
Second chances may be color blind. But we aren't.
Human beings tend to identify with people who look like them or share similar environments. Doesn't mean we're all racists. But we are all racial. We're easily manipulated by religion and readily influenced by color. All things equal, we'll side with our own.
Depending on where you live or what you read, there remains segregation in sports. Around these parts, similarly temperamental black players are "volatile" and white players are "fiery." Right, Terrell Owens?
As it is, Hamilton is the most beloved recovering crackhead on the planet. He's somehow the victim; addiction the villain. His story is so touching, so good, that we're moved to treat his comeback from a self-inflicted mess as some noble triumph. What, Marlon Byrd has never been tempted?
In fact, I've been criticized for referring to Hamilton as, among other things, a hypocrite. Even though he's a man who used to do A, promised to do B, but has again been caught doing A, Hamilton is somehow Teflon. Even though hypocrite is his word, not mine.
From a July 2008 story in The New York Times: "If I didn't (stay clean and sober)," Hamilton said, "I'd be the biggest hypocrite in the world."
Apparently Hamilton also forgot the evangelical virtues about being honest and forthcoming.
From his August 8 press conference in Anaheim in response to the incriminating photos that would work seamlessly in credits for The Hangover: "I don't feel like I'm a hypocrite. I feel like I'm human."
At that point, isn't it hypocritical to deny being a hypocrite?
If Hamilton was black, I fear the focus wouldn't have so quickly and smoothly shifted back onto baseball.
The player who takes part in I Am Second commercials but one night decided to bat himself first wasn't booed in Anaheim, Cleveland or Arlington, but was coddled and cuddled as an imperfect, try-hard addict. Which is great news for the Rangers, because after Hamilton's better-late-than-never apology, he finally started hitting. (Ironic that for Texas to sustain its playoff push they need an on-field relapse from Hamilton to his early '08 form.)
A black Hamilton's hiccup would've still been news, because when a team in the thick of a playoff chase has its best player admit to a night in which he got drunk, blacked out and put himself in jeopardy of getting suspended or even killed, well, that's big news. But the media wouldn't have let this one dissolve in the glass of warm water known as God, forgiveness and "nobody's perfect." If Hamilton was neither Caucasian nor Christian, questions would be asked. Legit questions, like ...
Where did he go and how did he eventually get "home" after leaving the bar?
Are we supposed to believe that the three women, after drinking with Hamilton and licking whipped cream off his naked chest and vice-versa, didn't accompany him out the door to...wherever?
In the months after the incident Hamilton continued selling his book and witnessing to groups and retelling his tale to the media about being sober since October 6, 2005. Isn't not telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but, tantamount to lying?
If he supposedly was informed by Hamilton the day after the incident, why did personal chaperone Johnny Narron respond with skeptical disbelief when initially quizzed about the pictures?
Hamilton claims to have blacked out. Does it really make sense then for him to be apologizing for things he doesn't exactly remember and aren't we, in essence, forgiving him for things that are impossible to acknowledge?
What took so long for the eight photos to surface?
Is there a photograph No. 9? Perhaps a No. 10?
To most, Josh I comes off honorable. To some, Josh II will always be despicable.
Shame it's so black and white.
Labels:
Interesting,
Josh Hamilton,
Josh Howard,
Race
It's Been Too Long
"We feel your presence, just not in the physical
All across the globe now blocks are miserable
You left a void there's a lot of little you's
And they're not original
And they're not identical
They just studied your likeness and watched your interviews..."
- Jay-Z
Her legacy is slinkier — immense yet understated, just like her voice. Traces of it lie the way Ciara moved in the video for "Promise." It's there in Rihanna's runway-fashion sense. Keri Hilson's around-the-way persona and Nicole Scherzinger's simmering sexuality share a debt to her. And the sense of what her career could have ultimately become is evident in Beyonce's multimedia presence.
-MTV.com
RIP Aaliyah 1.16.79 - 8.25.01
Monday, August 24, 2009
Klansman And Black Man Forge Close Friendship
I'm at a complete loss for words here. Up is down, right is left and I just don't know anymore.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Brandon Jacobs Running Brain Urlacher Over In Tonight's PreSeason Game
And now a brief message from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals:
Trying to stop Brandon Jacobs is like trying to stop the world from spinning.
A fully grown rhinoceros running at 100 miles per hour has almost as much force as Brandon Jacobs when he passes the D line.
If you're ever in public and happen to see a Brandon Jacobs running down the road run to the nearest phone and contact animal control.
According to animal planet 52 recorded deaths per year can be allocated to collisions from the force of running into a Brandon Jacobs.
A fully grown rhinoceros running at 100 miles per hour has almost as much force as Brandon Jacobs when he passes the D line.
If you're ever in public and happen to see a Brandon Jacobs running down the road run to the nearest phone and contact animal control.
According to animal planet 52 recorded deaths per year can be allocated to collisions from the force of running into a Brandon Jacobs.
Bonus: Jim Rome talking about how tough Brandon Jacobs is on the radio.
Labels:
Brandon Jacobs,
Brian Urlacher,
Call An Ambulance,
wow
Trailer For Anthony Hopkins' New Movie 'The Wolfman'
Looks like it's going to be great.
Labels:
Anthony Hopkins,
Movie Trailers,
The Wolfman
Friday, August 21, 2009
Real World Cancun: She Didn't Have To Do The Dude Like That
Firstly, let me set this clip up for those who don't watch Real World or at least haven't been following this season. The black girl on the phone (Jonna) is on the show this season and she's been in a relationship with her longtime boyfriend (Matt) guy on the phone taking one of the worst L's in television history) for years and coming into the show they were head over heels in love, deeply rooted and connected with each other and the whole nine. They made a pact that over the time that Joanna would be in Cancun during the filming of The Real World, that neither she or him would cheat and throw away what they had been building long before the show came up. That was the plan. Was being the key word of course. Well about two months into the show, approximately a month from the show wrapping up, she decides to surprise her boyfriend Matt with some news that he didn't know and tell him where things were as far as she was concerned. So again, those of you who haven't been watching the show, now that you have the background on what's going on here go ahead and press play on the clip above and bear witness to one of the, if not the, worst public L's of 2009 caught on tape. It's not pretty.
*Waits for you to watch the clip*
Okay now that you've seen the clip let me just say this: I've see that clip now more times than I probably care to admit and each time it's hard to watch. I mean every time I watch it it feels like I'm watching it for the first time all over again. Her boyfriend/ex-boyfriend didn't deserve all that. Therein lies the difference between guys and girls though.
Follow me: A guy goes to the store to buy a particular shirt he's seen on sale after having learned about it either on television or print. One the way to the store he's been listening to the radio. As he's pulling up in the store's parking lot, it's just then he hears an advertisement of another store having a huge sale on the same shirt that he's about to buy at the store he's at only this place has it for $32 instead of the $35 that the store he's at is selling it. The guy knows that it's probably not worth the trouble or the hassle to go over to this other store in search of this shirt to save three dollars. Since it's a waste of time and he'd much rather stick with the place he's more comfortable with because he's already there, he just buys the shirt for $35 from the store he's at. A girl in the same exact scenario save for the shirt being a top she wants, hears about this top somewhere else for a marginally better deal won't blink. She'll start the car back up, get back on the highway and head out to the other store. Not that I'm assigning moral piety in either case, just noting the differences and there are differences. It's the same mentality with relationships too. A girl will see a guy marginally better than the guy she's with, not even necessarily enough to make the effort of being with this new guy and leaving her old guy worth it, and she'll leave the old guy fairly easily. The guy is loyal to a fault or his own detriment but once he makes a decision he lives with it and he usually doesn't let other things around him derail his mindset.
But back to the clip. Bless Matt's heart. I mean she's all but told him in no uncertain terms that she's been romantically involved with all these different guys. Even if she's not been there with any of them physically, she's been there with all of them mentally and still Matt is trying to put the pieces of his relationship back together and salvage whatever is salvageable at that point and reconcile and even as he's decent enough to do that she goes in for the kill and sticks the dagger as far as it will go into the guy and tells him to basically let it go and to stop playing a victim. Damn.
Look I've had my peaks and valleys in relationship but I've never been through what Matt went through. And to have that happen on TV too? I'm not a strong enough guy. I would have done something to somebody.
Just terrible.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Barbershop 3 Starring Ice Cube, Mike Epps and David Stern
LOL obviously the title of this post is rooted in sarcasm but the video really is NBA Commissioner David Stern in the heart of Harlem in a black barbershop talking straight at regular people, answering questions, addressing various concerns, cracking jokes and being a man of the people for once. It's a good watch so be sure to check it out.
College Football Player Poll On Different Topics [Interesting Read]
Let the coaches, writers and computers have their polls. But don't players have opinions? Turns out they do.
This spring, ESPN The Magazine asked 85 FBS players about drugs, playoffs, refs, gay teammates and much more. In exchange for honesty, we promised not to reveal any names or schools -- only secrets.
- Who will win the 2009 Heisman trophy?
The Texas QB received 42 votes, followed by Florida QB Tim Tebow (20) and Oklahoma QB Sam Bradford (9). Four others were named more than once: USC safety Taylor Mays (4), Cal RB Jahvid Best (3), Oklahoma State WR Dez Bryant (2) and Ole Miss QB Jevan Snead (2).
- What player would you pay to watch?
- Who will win the BCS title in January 2010?
- What is the nation's best program?
- What is the nation's most overrated program?
- Do any players on your team take steroids or other PEDs?
- Should drugs and alcohol on campus be a bigger NCAA concern?
- Should guns on campus be a bigger NCAA concern?
- Were you ever offered money during recruiting?
- Should players be paid?
- Does the FBS need a playoff?
- Better OT format, college or pro?
- What's the worst rule in college football?
- Does replay work well?
- Are the refs doing a good job?
- Do you notice the cheerleaders at other schools?
- How many times a week do you get hit on?
- Should academic fraud be a bigger concern for the NCAA?
- Do you have any gay teammates?
- Does the NCAA do enough to promote fair-hiring practices?
(Credit: ESPN & Bruce Feldman and Ryan Hockensmith )
Labels:
Athletes,
College Football,
Damn,
NCAA,
Polls
Laugh Of The Day: Patrice O'Neal On Being Careful At Rest Stops [Hilarious]
One of my favorite comedians with a cautionary tale of being mindful of where you're at and your surroundings when you pull off the side of the road. This is based on a true story. (NSFW)
Labels:
Absolutely Hilarious,
McDonald's,
Patrice O'Neal
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Wednesday's Woman: Juliana Alves
And for this week's Wednesday's Woman we're going to keep it Brazilian since we're already here and go with the model/actress Juliana Alves.
Damn, Juliana looks like a 2K version of Lisa Turtle.
Nice.
New Andressa Soares VIdeo On The Science Of Her Booty (LOL)
Knowledge, like booty, is power and Andressa is a powerful young lady.
Again, just to state for the record again, Brazil is a glorious place straight out of a never neverland. If I learn to speak Portuguese, I'm done here in America. I love America, love my family and friends, my president, and my way of life but I've got to think about my future. I'd feel like LeBron James after next season. I've got to seriously take a look at where I have a better chance of winning despite my hometown bias. Brazil is too lucrative a place not to jump ship to if given the opportunity. Unless America is bringing in women like Andressa Soares to keep me here I'd have to consider in the strongest possible way making a move.
Labels:
Andressa Soares,
Booty,
Brazil,
Brilliant,
Science
Tuesday's Top Ten: Shittiest Candy Given At Halloween
.....when I was a kid Halloween was my favorite holiday, not unlike most other kids. The one thing I didn't like about Halloween though was getting home, after a hard day of begging strangers, taking off my costume, stretching out on the couch only to find that the majority of my spoils was shitty candy. You put so much into Halloween too. Your parents go out and buy you a shitty cheap costume that you only picked after trying on and subsequently rejecting several other equally shitty cheap costumes. You did this though, and made your parents a party of, and sold a part of your dignity in the process of the evening, in the pursuit of candy. One figures the least people could do was reward your effort by giving you something for your troubles. Instead of Skittles or Snickers or some candy worth its weight in sugar no you receive candy that starving kids in Africa would turn down. Todays list is an ode to the candy that people loved to give you that we all hated to get. This is candy so bad that it's almost a form of mouth rape when you eat it. So without any further wait, the list which is more of an FBI Most (Un) Wanted Top Ten than anything else ....
10.) Butterfinger - We all like butterfingers. You might even be asking yourself why would I put such a delicious candy on a list of this sort? I agree with the Butterfinger nation that they make a great product only where I find displeasure is because Butterfingers don't like us back. Butterfingers are a good idea up until 5 seconds into chewing it then it's like chewing sweet rocks. Just big, sticky annoying chunks of candy stuck to your teeth that have no intention of going anywhere for the rest of your day. Too messy a candy. Butterfingers are the candy version of Iraq and Afghanistan, easy to get into but hard to get out of.
9.) Black Licorice - LOL, I'm black and so it would make sense that I would like this candy, right? Wrong. I hate this candy and everything about it. I don't even mind red licorice. Twizzlers are great. As long as their red. Somebody ever gave me a black twizzler and I became David Duke. Get. It. Out. Of. Here
8.) Milk Duds - Who eats Milk Duds? Could it possibly be the same assholes who eats Peeps at Easter and other terrible candies? Why can't they round up all these douchebags favorite candy and sell them at their own stores so that their candy never even touches the candy I like?
7.) Boston Baked Beans - I have nothing against Boston or Baked Beans. Separately I like baked beans. I also like the Celtics and don't mind the Red Sox so I guess I kinda dig Boston too but Boston Baked Beans are just disgusting.
6.) Salt Walter Taffy - I say this as a life long and avid supporter of the Cincinnati Bengals but Salt Water Taffey is the candy equivalent to my football team. It casts no dispersions as to what it is or what it's about. You pretty much either associate with it out of choice or you don't. There are no gray areas. You know exactly what you're getting into going into it.
5.) Whatever The Fuck This Candy Is - Trust me, if I could identify this candy it would be higher. But I can't so it'll have to stay at ten. This ambiguous label will have to do in a way only 'suspect: black, male and between 18-49' has to do for cops. But I know you know this candy and that plurality of those reading this have even received this candy over the years.
4.) Butter Rum / Root Beer Dum Dums - LOL, We all know when we buy a bag of Dum Dums that once the cherry flavored ones and watermelon flavored ones are out, it's a crap shoot as to which ones are the next best but Butter Rum and Root Beer are the truly crap ones. The worst most evil devious thing that Dum Dum does though is labeling some of them with that question mark so you don't know what it is and you have to stick it in your mouth to find out what it is. And then just for fun they make probability of it being one of the two most disgusting flavors like 80%. You've got a better chance of getting the pretty girl in class at school to ask you out then get a cherry or watermelon flavored Dum Dum on a mystery flavor wrapped sucker. Terrible, no good, very bad awful candy.
3.) Circus Peanuts - This might be a generation thing. I've never met anyone under 50 that eats this. Are your taste buds the first thing that starts failing you as you get old? Because if that's the case I wish to die young and leave a pretty decent looking corpse in my wake. Circus Peanuts ought to be given to the animals of an actual circus and never to the humans in the stands or anywhere else. If I was God, these wouldn't even exist. Not in my universe. No way no how.
2.) Tootsie Roll - The only acceptable Tootsie Roll are the assorted fruit flavored tootsie rolls. The regular chocolately look and I would imagine also taste like rabbit shit. Not only is it cheap but it even tastes like it costs a penny per piece which is probably why after a long night of trick or treating when you looked into your candy bag it was almost all tootsie rolls. This also explains how easy it was to throw that shit in the woods before you came home. The effort of knocking on doors was greater than the coast of said candy. Tootsie Pops are a different case entirely though strangely enough
1.) Candy Corn - There are in fact things that are worse than death, like prison or what happens in prison and yes of course candy friggin' corn. Candy corn is so bad and so cheap that they don't even put it in a wrapper. They just put it in a bag, for easy access to for houses that offer candy for trick or treating, so all the person giving it has to do is stick a hand in the bag and spread it around. Like germs don't exist. It's not even the germs that's the worst part though. The candy is much worse. I'd rather have a scratchy throat, a runny nose and a cough than have a mouthful of candy corn. Corn isn't even a fun thing to eat and I'd rather eat corn than candy corn and I love sugar. I'm from a long line of people with diabetes. If restaurants served candy corn and the salad bar and nothing else, America would not have an obesity crisis on it's hands right now. We'd all have six packs. Bill Maher put it best in his book:
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Michael Vick On 60 Minutes August 16, 2009
I don't know what other blogs are posting because in all honesty I don't visit all the other blogs like that. So if you haven't seen this already I'm posting it for your viewing specifically. To be honest, I can't tell you if Vick is being genuine or sincere here or if he's been well coached by a line of PR people inserting ready-made words in his mind packaged for mass consumption but I don't think that's the point. America stands for second chances and it's in this country's DNA to hold true to that ethos. Sink or swim even people who kill dogs are due these opportunities we afford to politicians, coaches and in some cases even family. So in that mindset as a Bengals fan, I cannot wish Vick luck since he plays for another NFL team but I do wish him well.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Create Your Own Customized Bumper Sticker For Free [LOL, This Is Official Right Here]
This might sound corny to some, but I like bumper stickers. Of course, it has to be the right one for me to sign off on but if it's witty and or it's in support of someone I like, more power to you. i might let you cut in front of me in traffic and I'm a complete jerk on the highway. But more to the point, Gliffik is offering a free one time custom bumper sticker that you design and put words to that they'll send you in 1-2 weeks for $0. Of course, since 'Child Please' is my favorite saying here's the bumper I came up with:
LOL, it's up to you how you can come up with yours but again it's totally free and if this is your thing go HERE and go design yourself one. I don't know how long this promotion will be for so don't sleep. Take advantage.
LOL, it's up to you how you can come up with yours but again it's totally free and if this is your thing go HERE and go design yourself one. I don't know how long this promotion will be for so don't sleep. Take advantage.
Labels:
Chad Johnson,
Free,
Free is Always Good
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Where Are They Now? Dina From 'Salute Your Shorts'
Not a long post, and I'll keep this short and to the point. Many a young man who are now of their 20's came up on the fineness we all knew as 'Dina' on Nickelodeon's "Salute Your Shorts". Seemingly racially ambiguous and pleasing to many of our eyes she was many of our first television crushes. Well we grew up and forgot about her and apparently she grew up too and she's still fine.
This was her then:
This is her now:
This was her then:
This is her now:
Labels:
Heidi Lucas,
Nickelodeon,
Where Are They Now?
Wednesday's Woman: Francia Raisa
Man, you all will have to forgive me as I haven't posted a Wednesday's Woman in many moons. But alas, I've found the next fixation of the moment, actress Francia Raisa. Apparently she's been a a few dance genre flicks and currently she's on some kiddie show on ABC but her looks are anything but juvenile. I'll let the pics illustrate my point...
Beautiful.
Labels:
Francia Raisa,
Wednesday's Women,
Young Dimes
Monday, August 10, 2009
Could You Pass The U.S Citizenship Test?
Think you can? Go here and try...
(Credit: The Buffalo Kid)
Me? I got an 85%
But of course I got an 85%. Reminds of the Dave Chappelle joke where his white friend he's with gets pulled over for speeding and tells the cop that he didn't know he couldn't go that fast and Dave told him that that kind of thing would work for black people because they know we know the law and how every black person is their own qualified paralegal, LOL.
Take the test see how good you are with the the law.
(Credit: The Buffalo Kid)
Me? I got an 85%
But of course I got an 85%. Reminds of the Dave Chappelle joke where his white friend he's with gets pulled over for speeding and tells the cop that he didn't know he couldn't go that fast and Dave told him that that kind of thing would work for black people because they know we know the law and how every black person is their own qualified paralegal, LOL.
Take the test see how good you are with the the law.
Labels:
Citizenship Test,
Dave Chappelle,
USA
Video Of The Day : AND1 Style Water Basketball Dunking
You give kids a camera, youtube and let them run free and usually you end up with something funny. LOL @ this.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Ron Artest Wants You To Call Him @ (832) 260-8192
LOL, this man is either insane or a brilliant marketer. Probably a little from this hand, a little from that hand. Either way he's taking your calls and here's the video proof of him talking to people. It's a a shame he's going to be my sworn enemy come November though because he's a very endearing basketball player and personality.
But in other news he just threw $45,000 at a poor kid in a recent trip to China because he wanted to help him. Gotta report the bad and the good with Artest as it's rarely all one thing so it's important to be even handed.
WUHAN, China, Aug. 6 (Xinhua) -- Los Angeles Lakers star Ron Artest has donated his diamond watch to a high school student in Wuhan Wednesday to support his education.
Zheng Fengyu, 15, is the captain of Wuhan NO.1 middle school's basketball team.
Ron played basketball with Zheng Wednesday afternoon, and gave the boy later his watch, which is worth 45,000 U.S. dollars (about 300,000 yuan), according to a report by local media.
"He is great. Never let me shoot easily," Artest said. "Hope this can help realize his basketball dream."
Zheng was born in a poor family in Wuhan, a city renowned for heavy industry in central China.
After getting the watch, the teenager said with appreciation. "August 14th is my birthday, this is just the perfect gift for me," he said.
Ron played basketball with Chinese young players in a local university in the afternoon, attracting nearly 3,000 people to watch.
But in other news he just threw $45,000 at a poor kid in a recent trip to China because he wanted to help him. Gotta report the bad and the good with Artest as it's rarely all one thing so it's important to be even handed.
WUHAN, China, Aug. 6 (Xinhua) -- Los Angeles Lakers star Ron Artest has donated his diamond watch to a high school student in Wuhan Wednesday to support his education.
Zheng Fengyu, 15, is the captain of Wuhan NO.1 middle school's basketball team.
Ron played basketball with Zheng Wednesday afternoon, and gave the boy later his watch, which is worth 45,000 U.S. dollars (about 300,000 yuan), according to a report by local media.
"He is great. Never let me shoot easily," Artest said. "Hope this can help realize his basketball dream."
Zheng was born in a poor family in Wuhan, a city renowned for heavy industry in central China.
After getting the watch, the teenager said with appreciation. "August 14th is my birthday, this is just the perfect gift for me," he said.
Ron played basketball with Chinese young players in a local university in the afternoon, attracting nearly 3,000 people to watch.
Labels:
Craziness,
Famous People Wilding,
NBA,
Phone Numbers,
Ron Artest
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Seth Rogen On Getting Rejected By Megan Fox On Jimmy Kimmel [Absolutely Hilarious]
Seth Rogen is increasingly becoming my favorite comedian still in the game. For the record, I don't consider Dave Chappelle semi-retired and no longer active.
Labels:
Absolutely Hilarious,
Jimmy Kimmel,
Megan Fox,
Seth Rogen
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Free 12-Month Dime Magazine Subription
*Do you follow NBA Basketball?
*Do you like to read?
*Do you know somebody who follows NBA Basketball and enjoys reading?
*Do you like things that are free?
If you answered yes to at least one of these questions then help yourself to a free 12-Month subscription to DIME Magazine. No catch. No pop-ups. No credit card information giving. Just a link.
Fill in your information. Wait 6-8 weeks and you're all set!
LINK
Labels:
Dime Magazine,
Free,
Free is Always Good,
NBA
The Worst Fart In The History Of Man Caught On Tape
LOL @ this. Pretty funny.
Labels:
Flatulence,
Funny Youtube,
Mid-Day Funny
Saturday, August 1, 2009
NBA Jerseys Reinvisioned (Conceptual NBA Jerseys)
The web is a wild and wondrous place full of things that catch your eye every so often. I was caught off guard more or less looking at some NBA jerseys that through cutting edge technology were reimagined by various designers. I saved a couple dozen to demonstrate what I mean so take a look, some you will like and some you won't but I'll be damned if I won't consider writing David Stern to make that black Houston Rockets jersey happen!
Alright the white Wade jersey is a little gay but the taxi colored David Lee New York Knicks jersey is a nice touch.
Alright the white Wade jersey is a little gay but the taxi colored David Lee New York Knicks jersey is a nice touch.
Labels:
Concept Jerseys,
Interesting,
Jerseys,
NBA
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