Friday, March 13, 2009

Prison Terrifies Me

You know why I couldn't do jail? I mean besides the sodomy which would obviously be terrible and all, unless you were some gay guy who liked guys. Even then though, you'd have to imagine that'd be horrible for him too because it's not like the gay guy gets to say no and turn guys down. No the gay guy has to have sex with everybody who steps to him. I mean even when I try to imagine myself in that position, imprisoned and forced against my will to have sex with women in a similar situation (although not as bad as earlier said scenario, admittedly) I doubt it would be the utopia we all imagine it to be. The word no wouldn't exist to some of the most horribly unattractive females you'd ever meet in life. I'm talking every woman you've ever turned down. Every ugly woman you've caught yourself staring at in disbelief. Every single girl on your school's basketball and baseball team. Every female bus driver. Everybody on the damn bus! Just ugh. You've got to put on a game jersey and check into the game every time and perform. I could not make it through. No way.

But back to what I was saying, you know why I couldn't go to jail? The sleep. The sleep would suck. If I don't get just the right amount of sleep each day I'm useless for an entire day of my life. If I can't roll over and get the extra hour or two that I require to be my normal self on occasions than I'm unpleasant, unproductive, less responsive, forgetful and the quality of my life and anyone depending on me that day goes down a little. And it's so rough in jail. Lights out at a certain time and rise and shine at another every day, every week, every year. No exceptions. I can't even fathom the repercussions. I mean because you go into prison facing in the minimum a threat to your butthole but if you mess up in jail and don't do what the guards want you to do, then what? I can only imagine. With my sleeping habits I couldn't be perfect every single day. It'd only be a matter of time.

These things terrify me after watching OZ.

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