Merry Christmas

I know how late this is and how bad it probably reads to see this with little more than an hour and a half of Christmas left but really I hope everybody had a Merry Christmas enriched with gifts, family and blessings. Thanks so much for your visiting my site and special thanks to Concrete Journal, SmartenUpNas, HipHop Flavas Blog and Eclectik Relaxation for linking me in this my first year. It was a gift and I appreciate you all and definitely wish you all the best in the world and invite anybody that stops here to please do check them out. They are quality sites. I wouldn't link them if they weren't. Y'all are the best.

Umm, yeah so anyway, I haven't posted some music I dug in a while so in the spirit of the holiday, this is my gift:



Jaheim - Could It Be
Eric Roberson - Just a Dream
Nat King Cole - Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire
Charlie Brown - Christmas Time Is Here
Same Song With Just The Orchestral Instrumental

Tuesday's Top Ten: TV Theme Songs Ever

Just let me say this before somebody gets fresh with me in the reply box or something...this is the list. It may not be your list but this right here is the undisputed, unquestioned best ten theme songs in the history of television shows. Believe me, you don't have to agree with me, you don't have to like the list when you see it at first, you might not have even seen an episode of some of the shows listed and that's okay. I'm not advertising for the greatness for each individual show. I don't even give a damn about M.A.S.H. Probably a generational show that missed mine for some reason but still I can't front on the theme. Anyway, so here are the top ten television show themes of all-time. I'll have to up a folder with all the songs because they are quite good. Anyway, here goes. Check them out, even the ones you've never heard of, just press play and understand why they're here.

10.) The Jeffersons

If I didn't put this song on the list, I'd get a letter in the mail from the National Black Delegation saying I had 24 hours to turn in my black skin, lose my grievences and start watching Friends reruns.

Needless to say why this song is here. Just something that whenever it plays you smile and either sing along or clap along. Even if you do neither you definitely gain more energy than you had coming into the song. Every damn time without fail. In fact, funeral homes probably have a ban on this song because if played the body in the casket might literally pop up out the casket, do a little dance and then George Jefferson strole itself back up out that bitch. (Yes I avoided some 'Moving on up'/afterlife/heaven joke there too.)

9.) Hawaii 5-0

One of those shows I haven't seen minute one from. I couldn't tell you a character's name on the show if one was in my room with a shirt on that said "My name is (his/her name)" but that song can't be denied. It's definitely superhero music. It just oozes sports highlight reel replay. Obviously a song that's the soundtrack of success.

Matter of fact, next time you cut off someone on the highway or catch a girl looking at you, tell me this song isn't applicable. Just won't you please do that much for me?


8.) The Sopranos

I confess that this was an actual song that wasn't made for the television show but rather swaggerjacked for the television show. I get that, but be clear: this song is not known if not for Tony. I mean this song is on a level of obscurity that they wouldn't even dare ask you a question about at the end of Jeopardy. That said, it was used on the show, it is gully, and I like it.


7.) Knight Rider

Try and front on this...I dare you.
















6.) M.A.S.H

The guitar riff on this is nasty. In fact I'm shocked, that Hip-Hop hasn't prominently featured a sample of this on some commercially accepted hit song in the past decade. Could be big.

Oh yeah, I know why, the royalties would be monstrous.









5.) Cosby Show Theme Season 6


Bill Cosby is a lot of things. By that I mean he's a lot of things that aren't necessarily positive to be looked at as and known as but for all the laundry lists of shortcomings he sure knows how to pick a television show intro. Obviously he was working with that NBC bread which is a common thread amongst so many other themes on this list but still this J.R. Walker & The All Stars 'Shotgun' sample is a thing of beauty; another of those black classics that if you don't know anything about or can't appreciate, then definitely leaves you in bad standing with the black delegation. Anyway, there's a lot of win in this intro both visually (LOL @ Malcolm Jamal Warner getting it in) and audibly. I love this one.


4.) Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

There's no excuse to not like this. None. I'll tell you a quick story...there's this foreign girl I knew and who came to this country speaking little to no english when she first got here. She's been here since like first grade and we're about the same age so as the story goes she got picked on and struggled with the language here but she learned from this show specifically. She told me the first english she mastered and felt confident enough to recite in public with any confidence was The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song.

Moral of this story: the theme saves lives.

3.) Cosby Show Theme Season 5

This intro was my favorite Cosby intro of all time. Definitely creative. Cos at his best.


2.) Taxi


My personal favorite show of all-time but more than that just an all-time great theme. Bob James is the most soulful musical instrument playing white man I've ever heard. I've gone back and forth over the years about this because there's the argument that everything was better back in the 70's but in the end I can't penalize him for being born when he was plus I can't say I've heard a theme better than this since then or before then so do yourself a favor if you haven't heard this and press play on the video.

1.) Sanford & Son

In the history of black people there has never been a song that fully encapsulates our swagger in relation to other peoples of the world more so than this theme does. It's funky, rhythmic and cool. If there was ever a song that was the music embodiment of black people it's this song. Even white people like it. It's liked by every age group and gets love across the spectrum. This is the Barack Obama of theme songs. Quincy Jones will get props from here until eternity for this.

Jingle Bells Performed By A Chorus Of Microwaves

Took a lot of effort to do this. 6 days left!

These Kids Need Their Ass Whooped

Coonery and Buffoonery just doesn't quite cover it. No words to articulate how bad this video is, just press play and find out.



I'm ashamed of myself for having even seen this.

Aaliyah @ The White House Performing For The President During Christmas in '98

Aaliyah "What Child Is This?"


R.I.P

NASA Is Offering $5000 a Month For You to Lie in Bed (Houston, TX)

Need a break from the working, walking, and standing required by the demanding and stressful life you lead?

Well, pack your bags for Houston because NASA wants to pay you $17,000 to stay in bed for 90 straight days.

The bed-rest experiment, to take place in the Human Test Subject Facility of Johnson Space Center, is designed to allow scientists to study some of the effects of microgravity on the human body. We read on the Bed Rest Study website:

Participants will spend 90 days lying in bed, (except for limited times for specific tests) with their body slightly tilted downward (head down, feet up). Every day, they will be awake for 16 hours and lights out (asleep) for 8 hours.

It's unclear, however, whether you'll be allowed to read with a flashlight under the covers.

Jokes aside, astronauts who've spent lengthy stays in space have suffered serious repercussions. Our bodies have evolved mechanisms to deal with a certain amount of gravitational force--namely, the amount present on Earth; reduce g and blood pools in the feet, muscles atrophy and bones lose their density. It can take astronauts (or cosmonauts) months to readjust to the Earth's gravitational force.

If you're still interested, feel free to apply. You'll have to pass the Air Force medical examination standards and take a blood test, which we assume means that you won't have any help from recreational drugs to alleviate the boredom of lying prone for 2,160 hours.

Be honest with yourself, there's no way you could do this even if you needed the cash, lol. If you still think you could hit up Nasa.gov and find the appropriate information.

Steve Nash Tells a Joke @ The Spurs Expense

LOL @ this.

Wednesday's Woman: Sarah Shahi

She starred in Sleeper Cell, Life and the L Word television series. Three shows I admit I haven't seen minute one from but that has to change now as these pictures clearly indicate, I'm (and you too if guilty of the same crime) only hurting myself to ignoring her work. She's only 28 but already engaged and thus most of us guys didn't even have a chance to have a chance at her. Either way, I can't even be mad at her fiancee even though he just unwittingly threw salt on one of my dreams. Oh well, good luck finding another Iranian/Mexican goddess like this in life.

Black Jesus: "It's Getting Old"

LOL, this guy needs his own show. Make that happen Comedy Central.

Tuesday's Top Ten: Worst Things About Christmas

Look, I know it's been a while and December hasn't been my best showing around here but in my defense there's this thing called Christmas and it eats a lot of your time and occupies your otherwise free time and so posting comes at a premium but to make up for lost time and show my sincerity I plan on posting 100 times before Christmas. That's right my friends, 100 times before Christmas to make up for lost time. It may kill me but I'm posting new Top Ten Lists (albeit not on Tuesday as I've missed several lately) and Wednesday's Women (same thing) and just all kinds of random, goofy, funny, insightful and generally interesting things that I might have missed the last several weeks. That means you can feel confident visiting all types of goofy hours and getting new material almost every visit if I can drop it so hang with me, sit back and re bookmark me as i plan on making it interesting...

Anyway back to the post at hand, I love Christmas but I hate these 10 Things about it and I'm sure you either do to, or will after I shine a flashlight on them and my reasoning to why they suck:

10.) Snow Accumulation - Winter Wonderlands are fine in theory. People even sing about them but nobody really wants them when they get there. They're like family members or old friends you bump into in public, you think it'd be nice to see them but once it comes, they get old fast, they stay too long and you tire really fast of them. That's snow in a nutshell. It doesn't even have a practical use. It's the least necessary weather of all.

Rain --> Crops grow
Sun --> Plants grow and white people tan
Wind --> Sometimes makes hot days bearable
Snow --> Makes you late to work, if not impossible to get there.
Snow --> Makes you come out of a warm house and shovel your driveway or dig out your car
Snow --> Gets dirty fast and kills shoes, makes your car look like used toilet paper and turns into ice which results in unexpected spills.

Snow isn't useful at all. California, Florida, Texas, I tip my hat.

9.) Egg Nog - Just a bad idea. I hate it's smell. I hate it's taste and I'm not sure but it maybe not even made of nog. I'm not sure about it but you might be able to paint your walls with it. Definitely not an endearing part of an otherwise great season.

8.) Gift Getting - Definitely not fun. Getting free shit at any other juncture in life is a good thing. On any other day, you give me something free I'm happy (you can keep the herpes though). Gift receiving on the other hand, not so great. Then you have to make sure you've gotten something for somebody else and then you have to make sure you spend at least as much as they spent on you. Then you have to act like you like whatever space taking, useless nonsense they got you and you have to act like you're a cancer patient and they just gave you another 6 months to live and kiss ass excessively and put your dignity in a napkin and flush it down the toilet at least for a week. Not fun at all. I'd much prefer nobody got me anything and didn't expect anything and that way we don't have to put on any heirs on December 26 and we can be as big of assholes to each other that we might potentially be to one another on that particular occasion given any number of circumstances. You can't curse somebody out that got you seasons 1-3 of the The Wire or a $50 gift card at Macy's. You're obligated to play nice no matter what for the next two weeks or so. Barack Obama needs to go out and buy gifts for everybody in the middle east the day he's inaugurated so those dictators have to take it easy with him at least for a little while.

7.) Gift Giving - You poor, poor bastards. That's what I say to myself anytime I see some guy in a mall in a Bath and Body Works or Lane Bryant during the holiday season clearly not shopping for himself and clearly not having a good time at all shopping for something someplace he's not comfortable in and he's not confident that she'll like it. It's the worse. The worst part about it? There's no guarantee you'll find something on the first try. You might even have to go to the mall more than once if unsuccessful and fight the hordes of other poor bastards and deal with traffic and snow and cold and hunger.

Not to mention, shopping is all about perspective and guessing from other people's perspectives. Always a bad idea. I'm a 24 year old, barely mature black dude. I know next to nothing about 60 year old white women in affluent neighborhoods and yet if one of my white friends got my mother something for Christmas I'd be obligated to guess what a 60 year old white woman from an affluent community's interests are.


6.) Black Christmas Music - I know I'm black. I don't need to prove that to myself. I look in the mirror and see black person every time I use the bathroom, so without the need to impress any African-Americans who may be reading this, I can say with absolute confidence that I HATE black Christmas songs. Absolutely loathe them with all my being. I don't know why but black people cheese up serious things for me. National anthems, funeral songs, comedies and last and without a doubt certainly not least, Christmas music. Only one black person I can stand at Christmas time and that's Nat King Cole. His Christmas Music is class. He never sang "Let it Snow" over a bassline. He never held on to a Christmas note for longer than 10 seconds to my knowledge. We all know he can sing and he's soulful but he didn't try and make the birth of my Savior into an R&B record.

oh it pains me to say it because I'm quite fond of R&B. You all know that much, but I'm not trying to get my freak on Baby Jesus. Just sing the damn song without showing off. Give me the driest rendition of all the holiday classics as possible. Please.

5.) Crowds - And I'm talking people everywhere at this time of year. Stores, malls, highways, even church (People you've never seen before show up in December for church and end up in your seat when you arrive I find the most tacky). Why is everybody out when I have Christmas spirit? Do they know they're ruining it?

4.) Chirpy People - Look, I know when Obama was elected last month there was a general euphoria for about a week where everybody was happy and content and the victory served as an opiate for everybody in general. I was one of those people. Thing is my natural disposition is a lot darker and I don't like having to sustain a chirpy, upbeat outward bubbliness if it's avoidable and the holiday season is entirely too long to be that nice. How you happy and just spent $300 during a recession? That doesn't make sense.

3.) A Christmas Story - Look, nothing at all against holiday movies. Home Alone, Grinch Who Stole Christmas, A Christmas Carol, Rudolph....cool. but A Christmas Story is too much. It's not so much that I hate the movie as I know that it's going to come on like 400 times the week of Christmas and it's not that great that I have a stomach for that kind of a pounding. Godfather trilogy, I'm all for AMC playing to death. You can never get tired of that one. It's just in your DNA that if you flip past those movies on tv channel surfing that you have to watch all or parts of any of those movies each time. Never gets old. A Christmas Story ain't Godfather though.


2.) Harassing Salvation Army Guy w/ Bell Outside of The Store - I know your game and I don't respect it. You prey on people who buy groceries dolo and if that isn't bad enough you do it during the holiday season where people are supposed to feel compelled to give and it's just dirty pool. Straight up. Why should I give you money? We're in the midst of an economic downturn. I got people I know to buy for with my stipend of a Christmas budget, I don't even know you. Why not try and get money during Spring when people have it and might be generous after the government cuts them a check?

Dealing with the Christmas Tree and Decorations - It's just illogical. You're wasting effort, time and money to entertain other people and give them something to look at. Strippers don't entertain unless Pacman Jones or somebody who thinks their Pacman Jones is making it rain. Why should we?

1.) Running Into People You Don't Want To - You HAVE to shop, there are huge hordes of random people shopping whenever their schedules give them time and there aren't but a handful of popular places to get the best deals so that creates the perfect storm of uncomfortable in the form of running into someone you'd rather not. Nothing you can do really. It's just Russian roulette with a loaded gun. Unless your online shopping game is tight you just have reside to the fact that you're coming across some clingy person who wishes to stay in contact long after you've given them the cold shoulder and it's just part of the game unfortunately. The sooner you get through the checkout line the sooner you should get back to ignoring said person and forgetting they exist. Good luck.

The Best Of Black Jesus

Aaron McGruder is a genius.

Did You Know?

That the $100 Bill isn't the highest denomination of money in circulation? You really have to Monty Burns to know this but there is also:

The $500 bill featuring a portrait of William McKinley

The $1,000 bill featuring a portrait of Grover Cleveland

The $5,000 bill featuring a portrait of James Madison

The $10,000 bill featuring a portrait of Salmon P. Chase

The $100,000 bill featuring a portrait of Woodrow Wilson

Baller.

NBA All-Star Game First Ballot Returns Just In

And the fans screw this up again, per their usual:

EAST

Forwards
Player	Votes
LeBron James (Clev)	643,786
Kevin Garnett (Bos)	495,514
Yi Jianlian (NJ)	356,556
Chris Bosh (Tor)	274,195
Paul Pierce (Bos)	153,512
Shawn Marion (Mia)	144,066
Josh Smith (Atl)	59,574
Tayshaun Prince (Det)	56,846
Hedo Turkoglu (Orl)	56,006
Danny Granger (Ind)	49,752
Michael Beasley (Mia)	48,999.
Guards
Player	Votes
Dwyane Wade (Mia)	623,311
Allen Iverson (Det)	492,093
Vince Carter (NJ)	236,634
Ray Allen (Bos)	174,155
Jose Calderon (Tor)	124,705
Luke Ridnour (Mil)	123,104
Jameer Nelson (Orl)	116,228
Derrick Rose (Chi)	102,263
Joe Johnson (Atl)	94,847
Devin Harris (NJ)	94,294
Gilbert Arenas (Wash)	64,450
Centers
Player	Votes
Dwight Howard (Orl)	775,933
Samuel Dalembert (Phi)	116,708
Rasheed Wallace (Det)	88,885
Jermaine ONeal (Tor)	75,324
Al Horford (Atl)	45,284
Ben Wallace (Clev)	40,799
Andrew Bogut (Mil)	36,479
Zyrdrunas Ilgauskas (Clev)	28,022
Kendrick Perkins (Bos)	24,777
Emeka Okafor (Char)	15,323

WEST

Forwards
Player	Votes
Tim Duncan (SA)	442,203
Amare Stoudemire (Pho)	370,470
Carmelo Anthony (Den)	327,233
Dirk Nowitzki (Dal)	261,952
Pau Gasol (LAL)	260,374
Ron Artest (Hou)	214,063
Bruce Bowen (SA)	121,739
Shane Battier (Hou)	115,981
Josh Howard (Dal)	113,456
Luis Scola (Hou)	82,344
Lamar Odom (LAL)	78,422
Guards
Player	Votes
Kobe Bryant (LAL)	719,252
Chris Paul (NO)	406,220
Tracy McGrady (Hou)	332,222
Manu Ginobili (SA)	166,981
Jason Kidd (Dal)	162,286
Tony Parker (SA)	161,638
Steve Nash (Pho)	142,410
Jason Terry (Dal)	105,345
Chauncey Billups (Den)	87,172
Brandon Roy (Por)	78,071
Rafer Alston (Hou)	73,613
Centers
Player	Votes
Yao Ming (Hou)	529,290
Shaquille ONeal (Pho)	227,273
Mehmet Okur (Utah)	162,139
Andrew Bynum (LAL)	155,689
Greg Oden (Por)	71,366
Andris Biedrins (GS)	65,496
Al Jefferson (Minn)	46,242
Tyson Chandler (NO)	39,467
Marcus Camby (LAC)	25,824
Chris Kaman (LAC)	9,104
Brad Miller (Sac)	6,892

A Visual To Keep In Mind As Next Months Innaguration Draws Closer

The moment Barack Obama steps foot in the his new home, the gravity of it all should be made clear and appreciated a bit more after seeing this:



From HBO's John Adams.

Craigslist Babysitter Used Toddler In Porn Film While On The Job

MINNEAPOLIS - A man has pleaded guilty to answering an online advertisement for baby-sitting work and then using the client's child to make a pornographic video.

In a plea deal with federal prosecutors, Aaron Jay Lemon admitted Wednesday to producing the video. The 23-year-old from Little Canada, Minn., also admitted to coercing a minor to engage in sexually explicit conduct.

The plea agreement says Lemon filmed the child in St. Paul after seeking the baby-sitting job through Craigslist. St. Paul police say the victim was a 2-year-old girl.

The U.S. attorney's office says the case was part of a project that encourages agencies to investigate the sexual exploitation of children over the Internet.

The office says Lemon faces a maximum of 30 years in prison.

 It's crazy that dude can't be given more time than 30 years. I just hope that he doesn't get to see day two in jail and that the inmates administer the justice the courts couldn't deliver.

Great Potential Holiday Gift Alert

Damn, I need this shirt.

Buy yours here:

Crime Against Black Humanity #1

I'm going to start a new feature here wherein I shed light on commercials on Youtube that I find particularly objectionable or offensive to black people that I think need to be seen for the bad companies that we need not do business with. Ideserveacar.com is today's offender. Watch this commercial to better understand what I'm talking about.

KG making Glen "Big Baby" Davis Cry In Boston's Win Friday Night

One of the lower moments for both of them.

OJ Simpson Gets His Sentence...

15 Years.

Why In The World Would Somebody Do This To Their Body?

Is this what's hot now?







I'll pass.

New Paul Pierce Sports Illustrated Nine Page Spread

"I've always been the Rodney Dangerfield of this game," he says. "Maybe it was meant to be that way, but that always drove me. If somebody said, 'You're going to be the Number 1 pick, you're going to have a great team around you all these years'? It would've been too easy." - Paul Pierce




On Paul's Father

George Pierce never lived with Lorraine. Paul was no more than six the last time he saw his dad. Cornelia Pierce, George's wife, answers the phone at their home. She's cordial but has little desire to open old wounds. "I'm a strong woman," she says. "I've prayed over it and I've accepted the whole situation; in fact, I watch many of Paul's games. I feel that Paul is an innocent bystander, as well as I am. I'm a Christian woman, so I look at things from the positive side and I don't have any regrets, or any attitude or anything. George and I have been married for 45 years." Paul and Lorraine moved to Inglewood in 1988, and that year Jamal Hosey [Paul's Oldest Brother] saw George Pierce one last time. "I yelled at him, 'You know, you got a great kid! You at least could call him, you bum!'" Jamal says. "Then my wife pulled me, and I walked away."

On New GM Danny Ainge in 2004

The slaps kept coming. In 2003 Pierce had his first playoff triple double in the second round against New Jersey and led Boston in postseason assists and scoring. But the Celts lost to the Nets, and when Ainge took over as general manager that May, he unloaded Walker. "He didn't think highly of me and Antoine at all, and I knew this," Pierce says. "So I'm already thinking, He's not feeling my game; I don't need to try to build a relationship because he already doesn't like me and just traded Antoine. Maybe I'm next."



On Coach Doc Rivers

Doc Rivers took over as Boston coach in 2004, and for half of that season he and Pierce clashed. The Celtics were rebuilding and had used three first-round picks to bring in Al Jefferson, Delonte West and Tony Allen. Rivers wanted Pierce to trust his young teammates more and stop playing his ponderous isolation game. Trust? With a championship looking ever more distant, Pierce didn't trust Ainge to get the winning players the team needed and didn't trust Rivers's approach. It came as no shock to hear, on draft night two months later, that Ainge was close to dealing Pierce for the rights to rookie guard Chris Paul. When that deal fell through, it looked like star and team would be stuck in one of those bad NBA marriages. But during the two awful seasons following 2005, Pierce never tuned the coach out. Rivers kept waiting for Pierce's supposed selfishness to kick in, but "even though it wasn't working—and he was fighting it—he was still trying to do [what was needed]," Rivers says. "That's not a selfish person."

On The Worst Year Of The Franchise

The team won just 24 games in 2006--07, and late in the season Pierce told a Boston reporter, "I'm the classic case of a great player on a bad team, and it stinks." Yet such foot-stomping had become more exception than rule; Ainge, Rivers, his brothers Jamal and Steve had noticed that, as Pierce says, "my spirits really changed." He had been seeing a woman named Julie Landrum since '05, and Pierce credits her with teaching him to think more positively and "keeping me happy." Out for nearly half the '06--07 season with injuries, Pierce watched Boston lose a record 18 straight. He realized that, at 29, he was as far as ever from winning a title, and his first impulse was to publicly demand a trade. Landrum talked him out of it.



George Karl On Pierce Stepping His Game Up From All Angles Last Year

"What I saw was commitment," Karl says. "If the game said, 'Be a defender'? He was a defender. If the game said, 'Be a rebounder'? He was a rebounder. If the game said, 'Be an orchestrator'? He was an orchestrator. He made his career scoring points, but last year? What the game asked him to do, he did." Pierce's performance in the Celtics' dismantling of the Lakers in the Finals sealed [it]. In Game 1 he left the court with a knee injury, but he returned to hit two three-pointers and give Boston the lead for good. In Game 2 he led the Celtics in scoring and held off L.A.'s desperate comeback with two key free throws and a block on Sasha Vujacic's three-pointer. With Boston down 18 at the half of Game 4, Pierce demanded that Rivers let him guard Bryant, then dogged the Lakers guard relentlessly, blocked one of his jumpers and held him to 6-of-15 shooting, and the Celtics fought all the way back to win and take a 3--1 series lead. Pierce, the Finals MVP, would outplay Bryant again in the next game and Boston would win in six, but the championship—and Pierce's legacy—was secured in Game 4. George Karl is 57 and has seen the greatest, from Russell to Jordan, produce the kind of basketball that can make a coach swoon. He was in the building for the Celts' miraculous comeback and saw it up close. "Probably the best half of basketball I can remember one player playing," Karl says.



On Being Present For The Birth Of His Child Earlier This Year

"It was unreal," he whispers. It made him decide some things. "I don't want to be the dad that my father was," Pierce says. "I want to see my child grow. Who knows if I would've made it if he had been involved? Who knows if I would've been that much better? Who knows? But I'm sure his influence wouldn't have hurt those times I fell off my bike or didn't have nobody to rebound for me. I want to be there for my daughter—when she falls, to pick her up. When she needs help with homework."


Find the full Sports Illustrated Feature Here.

It's Been A Long Time I Shouldn't Have Left You...

Without Some Coonery To Step To.



LOL @ This.