I'm Still Alive, Still Talking Shit

Sorry about the lack of updates. No I didn't die, though the question's begging to be asked that if I did die how would you all know? The answer being, well if I got off my ass and posted more regularly you'd know something happened to me because the posts would stop coming. This is why I need to get someone reliable, pithy, funny, interesting and who can be the Lamar Odom to my Kobe on this blog and come in from time to time and pick me up. I'm not even looking for a sidekick, just a third option would do.

Anyways basketball has all but consumed me all month with the Boston Celtics giving me heart attack after heart attack. I won't even go into the details but they better find a way to get it done today. I'm fairly certain that they will but if they don't a shitstorm awaits me and them in our own individual rights of course. They'll get it from the media and I'll have to hear about it from the relentless jerks I drape my life with. Which I can't be mad at because I'd serve in much the same capacity if they went all out over something or someone and were proven wrong. It's part of the game.

Oh well, regardless come Monday, I'll be back to posting regularly because by then the Celtics will either be done for the summer or they'll be facing the Cleveland Cavaliers which actually means they'll be done for the summer too so I can shift my attention to other things finally. Though it's a lot easier of a pill to swallow going out as one of the final four teams standing in late May then it is going out to Ron Jeremy's panicky little brother. Plus I'm just generally tired of the way people who know nothing fawn over Kevin Garnett and give no credit to Pierce & Co. as a very able group with or without The Big Ticket. If you're missing Kevin Garnett, Leon Powe and James Posey this year that you had last year when you won it all and still find yourself in the conference finals then it delegitimizes a ton of crazy talk of undervaluing Paul Pierce and the team that the media has been guilty of for a while now. Just a thought to consider.

Either way you'll see me again Monday and maybe even sooner (if everything turns out aces tonight) so don't jump ship on the site yet. Although oddly enough I have been experiencing huge hits this month despite my lack of posting. Maybe more is less? Maybe I'm T-Mac and my website is the Houston Rockets. His Aura Is Orange might be better off without me after all. *Sigh*....

[Damn he's annoying...]

Celtics Officially Sign Stephon Marbury (God Help Us)

Celtics president Danny Ainge confirmed that guard Stephon Marbury has signed a contract.

The two-time All-Star is now undergoing a physical and is expected to attend a closed practice at TD Banknorth Garden at 5 p.m. before tonight's game against Indiana.

It remains uncertain if Marbury will be in uniform tonight, but given that the Celtics have just 11 players in uniform, it's possible that they may need him to suit up in case of an emergency situation. He will wear the jersey #8.

This is awful awful news. I'm predicting now that within a week Stephon Marbury will turn into David Ruffin. Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett will probably walk into his hotel room one day on the road and this scene will ensue:

God help us. :(

The Worst of KG (Video)

To tell the truth, I was a huge fan of Kevin Garnett before he came to the Boston Celtics for many years. In fact from memory, I can't recall a time where I've had anything to say about Kevin that wasn't flattering or complimentary. That's the God's honest truth. Recently, though he's become a bit of a punk and he shows what a female body part he has (use your imagination) too often for my liking. I'm not saying I can't credit him for the resurgence of my favorite basketball player Paul Pierce's career. If I'm telling the full story I'd have to tip my hat to him and Ray for re-energizing Pierce and taking some of the pressure night in and night out off of Paul's shoulders. I still believe Pierce is and has been the best player on the team but that's neither here nor there. The point is however, KG during this remarkable Celtics run has been quite good and has also been quite bad. He's not quite annoying enough to be in the "Alonzo Mourning of 2002-2006" category where Alonzo Mourning was the unquestioned undisputed prick of the league because Garnett does way more than 'Zo so some of the chest thumping is permissible but still there are MAJOR character flaws with KG that can't be overlooked.

So I came upon this video of a highlight reel of all the moments in KG's career that help prove my case. I mean he even tried to pick a fight with Tim Duncan, the NBA's Dali Llama. Duncan is by far the most docile, easy going mellow superstar in the league; Completely devoid of ego and KG even riles him up.

Watch this video and watch all the inconsistencies of KG's character on full display.

KG making Glen "Big Baby" Davis Cry In Boston's Win Friday Night

One of the lower moments for both of them.

I Can't Believe I'm Even Typing This But...

Apparently, god has a sense of humor as he's seen fit to romantically link Sam Cassell to are you ready for this?























You Sure?





































Because once you see this you can't unsee it

Ananda Lewis.


By the way, Kevin Garnett is dead to me. He's a loser and he's always going to be a loser. He shrinks in big moments and when you boil it down he's a slightly more consistent version of Lamar Odom. Only difference between Kevin & Lamar is one looks like a turtle and one looks like a goat and even then I'm pretty sure The Ninja Turtles whooped an evil goat's ass one time on the TV show so you know how it would go down if those two fought. On a night that Paul Pierce scored 38 Points grabbed 8 Rebounds dished 7 Assists and shot 45% and I'm not sure but I think he worked the concession stand during halftime and didn't lose a step and all you can contribute is 13 points and 5 fouls. You get a ring and Cracker Jack ought to start putting them into boxes as a toy because that's how much they're worth. Do me a favor and don't show up Tuesday, please. Thanks.

Celtics in 6, still.

Apparently KG Doesn't Need Sleep

From Bill Simmons:

He gets too worked up for big games to the point that it's almost to his detriment. For instance, it was revealed after the Detroit series that Garnett hadn't slept for four days, a period that started after Game 4 and stretched past Game 6. If that was true, you can only imagine how he's handling the Finals. Like O.J. with Nicole, it's possible that he cares a little too much. And for someone who's supposed to be one of the best 25 or 30 players ever, it's almost incomprehensible that he can't make the Lakers pay for single-covering him with the likes of Gasol. Not to sound like Joe Theismann, but here's a guy with a can't-miss 20-footer, superb footwork on the low post, great passing skills and legitimate athletic advantages over every Laker who will defend him in this series. Is there any reason Garnett shouldn't be averaging 30 a night? I can't think of one ... except for the "Maybe he hasn't slept in a week" thing.

If you fuck this series up Kevin because you refuse to sleep, I'm going to kick your ass.