His Aura Was Orange

This January I'm Taking My Talents To Tumblr

2010-12-24T22:17:00.002-05:00

It's been fun but I'm in another space. His Aura Was Orange was what I needed to do in 2008 but I'm not this site anymore. When I was 17, all I wanted to be was 18. It couldn't come fast enough, it felt like. The day I become 18 it wasn't enough. I needed to be 21 by that point in my mind. That's really the best way I can put it.

Wants In a Lifetime is my new muse. It's me in a different way. Not like His Aura Was Orange at all. It's what I need to do now. I'll understand if you can't follow me over there. Really, I will. It's going to be far more personal but you're welcome. But if nothing else, give the new blog a shot. Read some, see if it's for you. If not? No hard feelings.

Thanks for making this place what it was though.

-Management
(Wantsinalifetime.tumblr.com)

Dear Religious White People

2010-10-30T15:28:00.001-04:00

You all are my brothers and sisters before God and I love you all but please explain this foolishness, LOL.

Brett Favre's New Wrangler Commercial

2010-10-26T17:33:00.001-04:00

LOL @ this. Pretty good.

Wednesday's Woman: April Lee Hernandez

2010-10-18T23:45:00.002-04:00

You, like myself, may only be familiar with Mrs. Hernandez as the new Latina cop castmate of Michael C. Hall's Dexter. You might also know her from 2007's Freedom Writers. However if you can't place her from either production, then allow me to introduce you to her as this week's very deserving, very attractive, Wednesday's Woman. I give you April Lee Hernandez.

Video of the Week: The Toll Marriage Takes on Hot Women

2010-10-18T22:13:00.002-04:00

I defy you to watch this video of before and after shots of some nice looking women and where marriage takes their looks. Enjoy

Barack Obama's Alter-Ego: Barry WhiteHouse (Bill Maher)

2010-10-06T13:21:00.002-04:00

I El Oh Elle'd hard @ this.

NBA Countdown To The 2010-2011 NBA Season Promo #1

2010-10-05T23:37:00.002-04:00

Are you ready for some basketball? I sure as hell am.

Best of the Maze/Scare Videos

2010-10-03T03:27:00.000-04:00

It's Halloween time again and rather than scare, allow me to show you something to lighten the mood in the key Halloween. I'm sure you remember the maze/scare game that was popular a few years back where you'd get some unsuspecting person to come to computer under the guise that you wanted them to play a game where they tried to maneuver their way out of amaze only to get nearly to the finish line only to be scared shitless by a zombie child screaming abruptly. Well rather than give you all a heart attack with that shit, I've decided to share with you some of the funniest moments/reactions to that video. Enjoy...

Wednesday's Woman Redux: Maíra Britto The Unreleased Photos

2010-09-29T04:56:00.003-04:00

I know, I know I already made a post about Maira Britto. I realize I'm probably breaking some unwritten rule. You know what though? I don't care. I really don't. If it was one of my own rules that I can't repeat a person as 'Wednesday's Woman' then fuck my rule. It's mine. Rules are meant to be broken. Not mine or anything. I don't want to give you the wrong idea. You break my rules and there will be a penalty. Trust. I'm just saying if somebody is going to break my rules it should be me. So yeah, Maira Britto is just the optimum allowable dosage of human fineness. You can't make me believe otherwise without visual and scientific proof that finer indeed exists. Most will agree with me. At least one person won't. That's cool, but unless you come at me with visual proof of someone finer than her, I won't believe you. And you better have some pie charts and bar graphs and long-hand scientific equations thereby backing up your claim. And you better have a lab coat on when you present this evidence to me or your false claims will be laugh at, dismissed and we won't ever exchange words again. You better come with it.

LOL @ me calling these 'unreleased' though. They're not unreleased but they are different pictures than I posted last time. Somebody please make this woman a household name here in America. I beg of you.

ABC News Racial Bike Stealing Experiment

2010-09-26T19:04:00.000-04:00

Everyday you live you take with your certain feelings and opinions and most often you don't have any proof to prove or disprove your feelings so you just kind of shrug it off. Well take a look at this experiment where two actors, one black and one white, are both put in parks and given tools to pick a lock on a bicycle and watch the different reactions both actors generate. Entertaining to say the very least.

Louis C.K. - Things Are Fucked Up Now (New Clip)

2010-09-15T02:03:00.002-04:00

This is a new clip from his new standup special 'Hilarious'. Looks pretty good.

Jim Rome On The "Likes To Fight Guy" We All Know

2010-04-24T12:34:00.001-04:00

Dead on. LOL

Dave Chappelle On The Serial Rapist In Houston Who Only Rapes Men

2010-04-21T02:07:00.000-04:00

First new Chappelle clip in a while. Enjoy.

Wednesday's Woman: Anne Keothavong

2010-04-14T00:07:00.005-04:00

Dear Tennis,
More Anne Keothavong, please.
Love, Me.

CK Louis On Bad Drivers

2010-04-11T00:18:00.000-04:00

It's been a couple weeks since my last post. I didn't know whether to explain myself or what so I decided to best way to come back would be to post a video that made me literally laugh out loud. Now me laughing out loud will be of no value to you personally but what will be of value is you laughing which I can assure will happen. Press play, take a listen and enjoy.... CK Louis on bad, irrational drivers and how to one up them.

Dwight Howard's Best Charles Barkley Impersonation

2010-02-06T16:11:00.000-05:00

As a strong Celtics fan it pretty much makes me anti-Magic but I won't front I LOL'd @ this. Well done, D12.

Public Service Announcement: Kobe Fan

2010-02-01T02:10:00.000-05:00

Kobe Bryant is YOUR favorite player. Not mine. I think he's great. Really I do. I give him props where he succeeds and shit when he fails. What more do you want? It's not hating if I don't the worship dude like you do, damn. Its like me telling you your girl is cute. You tell me she's gorgeous. Fair enough. Understand though, thats because YOU like her more than me obviously. You wifed her. If I liked her as much as you she'd be MY GIRLFRIEND! LOL Just take a compliment. Kobe's not my favorite but I give him credit when its due.

Dennis Rodman's Daughter

2010-01-19T19:00:00.000-05:00

She definitely has her mother's genes and not her father's. Damn she's fine.

Jean Claude Van Damn In Real Life Street Fighter

2010-01-19T18:50:00.000-05:00

Fun-Knee.

Tuesday's Top Ten: Greatest, Must-Hear Christmas Songs

2009-12-23T21:38:00.001-05:00

This week's Top Ten List is very simple. It's a list of my greatest Christmas songs of the season. It's not going to have a lot of songs that have been done to death over the years or have been rendered bad because department stores have played them out either. So sorry you won't find Boyz II Men on this list and you won't find Donny Hathaway either and you have the commercialization and oversaturation of those songs by the corporate world to blame for it. Now if you can get past that though than this list will be for you. My favorite Christmas songs of the season...

10.) Alvin and the Chipmunks- Christmas Song - I know this is a song from your childhood but if there's every a holiday that is all about you reverting back to that time, this is the one.

9.) Tchaikovsky - Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies - Look I'm a black man who listens to Mobb Deep, Clipse and a gang of other musicians who boast of tales of coke dealing and shootouts but at the same time I'm a college educated man whose confident enough in myown skin to own up to the fact that I also enjoy classical music, have the ability to play the cello and can appreciate some good orchestral pieces as well. If that qualifies me as (insert insult) then so be it. I can live with that. This is classic.

8.) Luther Vandross - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - You just can't deny Luther. Even if you wanted to, the boy had skills. The man one of the best friends song has ever had. He killt this. KILLT IT!

7.) Run DMC - Christmas In Hollis - This one is self-evident. It's as mandatory a part of Christmas as socks are to shoes.

6.) Charles Brown - Merry Christmas Baby - Old classic soul of the kind we're not likely to see again.

5.) Nat King Cole - The Christmas Song - LOL, the song is worth the price of admission in and of itself but the video is just class. Nat was smooth. No lie, he might have been cooler than Obama in his prime. His voice didn't miss a beat and his performance was polished too. Moms always let Nat live during the holidays and this is probably a lot to do with her influence as much as it my taste. Thanks mom!

4.) Frank Sinatra - A Merry Little Christmas - Old blue eyes doing what Old Blue Eyes do!

3.) Vince Guaraldi Trio - O Tannenbaum (A Charlie Brown Christmas) - This is just class personified. It's the living embodiment of the season really. It's what corny guitar riffs are to adult films. Mood setting.

2.) A Charlie Brown Christmas - Christmas Time is Here Song - If you can't appreciate this then something is wrong with you.

1.) Ray Charles & Betty Carter - Baby It's Cold Outside - Two things, the first being this song is all kinds of genius. The way it's laid out like a conversation is ill. I dig the style on this one. It's just before it's time. Two, LMAO @ Ray trying to get this chick to stay throughout the whole song, Dude is not playing and he's definitely not taking no for an answer. Listening to this song is like watching a cartoon of Pepe LePew. Class.

Ray Charles & Betty Carter - Baby It's Cold Outside - The funniest movie is here. Find it

In Memoriam: Chris "Slim" Henry

2009-12-19T14:07:00.004-05:00

Skip to 26:45 for a lighter more fonder memory from the past involving Chad OchoCinco and Chris Henry discussing whether there was a women in this world they've be willing to stay with because of her beauty if she cheated on them. You'll smile. As I said though just drag the time tracker to the 26:45 minute mark to go immediately to the part I'm talking about.

Anyway, I've avoided speaking on the issue because I wanted to find out some more details before inserting my thoughts on the matter and prematurely being proven an idiot or otherwise after new details began to emerge. So after finding out the particulars concerning the incident I had a feeling it would be something like this in the end but again it was naive to speculate too far into the matter earlier this week.

Chris was young and in love and handled an argument in an immature fashion that ultimately cost him his life. It had nothing to do with thuggery or his past arrests, but rather just a thoughtless moment of passion. He might have been just pulling a stunt like jumping in the back of his girlfriend's truck as a ploy to get her come to a halt so they could talk and just stumbled off the back of the truck accidentally or he might have jumped. Who really knows and at this point what does it matter? From everything I know about him on a local level and from everything the whole country knows he wasn't necessarily a bad guy. I think 'troubled' fits better. Just a talented man who led a troubled life. Not unlike other famous stars in other walks of life who've passed too soon and led troubled lives as in their limited time here. You don't need me to list names as examples as the world has given too many examples of these types unfortunately all too often. The entire situation is unfortunate and to reiterate the obvious, I feel the sorriest for his 10, 3 and 2 year old surviving children. I only hope he had a life insurance plan and they were his main beneficiaries and will be taken care of.

Still no matter what his deficiencies were, what we we feel we know about Chris or what we think we do, a man lost his life to the pain and grief of the people who knew him well and at the very least we ought respect that. R.I.P. to Mr. Henry.

Canabalt - The Game

2009-12-19T13:20:00.000-05:00

This is probably the most addicting and fun game I've played all year. If you're trying to pass the time, whether in the short run or in a much larger capacity (trying to kill the clock at work) this is the game you should play and potentially lose your job over. You won't regret it.

http://adamatomic.com/canabalt/

Barkley: "Tiger Needs To Take My Calls"

2009-12-16T17:12:00.000-05:00

I've avoided making comments on the Tiger Woods case because it's a private issue and should be handles privately just like anybody else's hardships and mishaps. I did think what Spike Lee and Charles Barkley say on the matter is very interesting though since they know Tiger and seem to be wanting to circle the wagons around him only they can't seem to get in touch with Tiger because he changed his number.

Garbage Can Prank = Win.

2009-11-17T23:11:00.000-05:00

Why didn't I think of this in college? It's definitely pure win. The guys reaction is priceless.

Wal-Mart: Now Slanging Caskets

2009-11-15T02:39:00.002-05:00

I shit you not. For a small fee of $1200 you too can buy your final resting place along with your groceries at the same place. If you're in the 12 items or less line and you've got a shopping cart full of a couple greasy fattening things that might kill you, you can actually eat those artery-clogging items guilt free because you can buy the pine box to put your dead ass in.

All seriousness aside though this a great idea for their company for once. Everybody knows funeral homes rape grieving families for all they're worth in one of the most vulnerable times we have to unfortunately find ourselves in. The mark-up of caskets into four and five times what Wal-Mart wants is legalized robbery. So while I hope that neither your nor I or anyone I know has to be in the business of buying one anytime soon, just know that if you do, maybe you can consider Wal-Mart's low low prices too.

(Link)

Hilariously Bad Commecial: Vyntlife

2009-11-13T22:57:00.000-05:00

I have no idea if this is a balm, a lotion, a cologne or a mixture of all three but none of that matters. All that matters is how corny and cheesy this video is. Video has all the ingredients of funny. Just press play, get your popcorn, kick your feet up and enjoy the ensuing sight.

Google Doesn't Care About Black People

2009-11-13T22:54:00.000-05:00

Keep in mind this is not a joke or a myth. Just type "Why Do Black People" in your google search bar and just look at the results. Shame.

VH1's 'The Terrell Owens Show' Is Being Beat Out By The 5AM 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' Repeats

2009-11-05T14:08:00.000-05:00

And Jim Rome lets T.O know about it here, LOL.

Best Videos Of The Week

2009-10-14T17:45:00.000-04:00

This is what arrogance gets you....

This is just comedy.

Christopher Columbus Day Still Sucks

2009-10-12T12:59:00.002-04:00

That is all.

Slim Thug Feels the Recession [All Kinds of Funny]

2009-10-08T16:16:00.001-04:00

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Slim Thug Feels the Recession

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Ron Paul Interview

Enjoy

(Hattip Churrbsturr)

Rick Ross Is a Funny Man

2009-10-06T16:38:00.002-04:00

Bonus:

Tell me that this doesn't improve the quality of your day.

T-Pain & Obama Make A New Song, LOL

2009-10-03T19:15:00.002-04:00

I laughed at this. I won't lie.

The Dogs Dogfighting Outsmart The Dogfighting Crowd [LOL @ This]

2009-10-02T17:10:00.001-04:00

This is absolutely hilarious. You can watch this guilt-free trust me. I wouldn't lead you astray.

Giant Spider Terrorizes Man In His Garage

2009-09-22T13:38:00.000-04:00

About the only thing you could do in this situation is nuke it from outerspace. It's the only way to know for sure that you've killed it.

In all seriousness I have a terrible terrible case of arachnophobia from childhood. Probably from watching 'Arachnophobia' way too early in life (thanks Mom & Dad; Bang up job there) and so if this spider was in my house ~~I'd shoot myself~~ I'd move. Even if I loved the house I'd have to move. The spider could keep everything that I owned in that place. As long as it didn't follow me to my new place.

Black & Going Bald? No Problem, "Hair Stimulation" Will Tattoo Hair On You To Fool The Public Of Your Deficiency

2009-09-21T18:54:00.003-04:00

Yeah, I don't think I'll be trying this. Not that I plan on going bald but if I did, I'd just shave it all off. This doesn't even look natural. His hairline looks like a dead persons. You know how funeral homes always give you the most fake looking hair for your funeral. That's what this reminds me of which is morbid and unappealing. To each his own though.

LOL @ Golden Tate (Notre Dame RB) Getting Overexcited And Jumping Into MSU's Marching Band

2009-09-21T17:47:00.001-04:00

LMAO @ them not catching him. This probably didn't unfold as he thought it would in his mind.

The Worst AP College Football Voter Ballot I've Seen This Year

2009-09-21T13:24:00.001-04:00

I give you Doug Lesmerises of The Cleveland Plain Dealer (figures he's from Cleveland)

Come on, man. Florida 5?!?! Miami, Houston, and Cincinnati are better than everybody but Alabama? Come on, man. Just come on.

Hat Tip: PollSpeak

Man Diving Has The Most Unfortunate Accident I've Ever Seen

2009-09-18T13:10:00.000-04:00

Man Splits His Face Wide Open Diving [WARNING VERY GRAPHIC]

If you can watch this without so much as flinching, then you are better than me. This is brutal.

Funny Craigslist Ad That Made Me Laugh

2009-09-18T11:41:00.000-04:00

LOL, I knew that ad reminded me of something.

Ed Lover Covering My Thoughts On Kanye/Lil Mama/Joe Wilson & More

2009-09-17T16:51:00.003-04:00

I been on vacation from blogging but thankfully Ed Lover, NY Radio personality, being the scholar he is, covers my feelings on all the happenings. I don't agree with his wording on some of this but he mostly gets my point across for me.

Wednesday's Woman: Nadine Velazquez

2009-09-17T16:38:00.000-04:00

You might recognize her from My Name Is Earl, or not like myself, who doesn't watch such shows. Although I have to admit that may change. Nadine Valazquez is that fine.

Where has she been, other than on a show that I wouldn't watch to save the life of somebody I care about, all my life? I guess it's better to discover her late than to never have discovered her at all.

Tuesday's Top Ten: Traits That Make Us HATE "Facebook Guy"

2009-09-17T15:58:00.001-04:00

I absolutely hate "Facebook Guy". Let me be clear though, I like Facebook, I just don't like "Facebook Guy". I'm not saying you're automatically "Facebook Guy" because you're on Facebook. That's not what I'm saying. I've got plenty of friends on Facebook. I'm on Facebook. I'm not talking about them and I'm not talking about myself. I'm talking about "Facebook Guy". I just don't like "Facebook Guy". "Facebook Guy" could be a man, woman or amorphous person in the middle like Lady Gaga so don't automatically assign a gender to this being. I just use the handle "Facebook Guy" because it's simple. So let me describe "Facebook Guy" so you can spot this/these jerk(s) hiding out in your Facebook, lurking in the shadows and defriend him and his flunkies from your friends list.

10.) "Facebook Guy" changes his profile picture more often than he changes his drawers. He feels it's absolutely necessary to keep us afloat to his facial changes as often as possible and as frequently as daily. In "Facebook Guy"s mind a lot can change over a weekend and you must know what he looks like on Monday as compared to what he looked like on Friday.

9.) "Facebook Guy" updates from his phone because the earth shattering nature of 'at the store buying a loaf of bread' just can't wait until they get home.

8.) "Facebook Guy" takes Facebook seriously. Most people are only on Facebook to occasionally get in touch with friends and keep a channel open to network with people in case somebody is looking for them and have no other ways to get a hold of them. For most people they can go weeks at a time without signing in. It's really not all that important to them. They just keep that Facebook account open for the same reason they keep their 'TheRockWWF1999@aol.com' email open; Just so that people who have no other viable means of getting in touch with them, have SOME glimmer of hope to hang onto in touching base. "Facebook Guy" updates his pictures all the friggin' time."Facebook Guy" is unloading a dozen or so pictures of themselves walking to the curb to get his garbage cans from this morning right now. "Facebook Guy" is a member of 653 groups because he cares that you know everything about him. "Facebook Guy" wishes there was something even stronger than an 'iLike' button. "Facebook Guy" wants Mark Zuckerburg to come out with a 'iLove' button because "Facebook Guy" wants to go steady with your status update. "Facebook Guy" wants to get on one knee and propose to your Facebook wall happenings.

7.) "Facebook Guy" is basically everybody's grandmother. They don't miss anyone's birthday. If you've got a birthday coming up, you should expect a 'Happy Birthday' at the bare minimum. If they're feeling particularly jovial you're getting a 'facebook birthday gift'. It's just a forgone conclusion you're getting Facebook Wall Love on your born day from them. In fact the only way you won't be getting it is if you forgot their birthday last time around. Oh yeah, "Facebook Guy" keeps track of whose been leaving them love. "Facebook Guy" makes a list and checks it twice. "Facebook Guy" looks into whose been naughty or nice. So always be appeasing to "Facebook Guy" because "Facebook Guy" is keeping the score.

6.) "Facebook Guy" laughs way too hard and way too much. "Facebook Guy" makes up stupid new ways to tell you that what you said is funny even when you know it wasn't THAT friggin' funny. 'I just spit my soda all over my computer @ what you just said'. No you didn't. If you did your computer would probably be messed up (YAY!) or at minimum you'd need a new keyboard. "Facebook Guy" also will drop a ROTFLMAOTGUSEITRWSOTAMASWIWID (rolling of the floor laughing my ass off then getting up slapping everybody in the room with slices of turkey and making a sandwich with it when I'm done). I mean damn. Is it really that funny? Like, really? "Facebook Guy" laughs at dumb stuff like there are terrorists that have their family at gunpoint hogtied and gagged. Like "Facebook Guy" is trying to get on their good side. An 'LOL' usually suffices. An 'LMAO' at the absolute most. Anything more and you're doing waaaaaay too much. Stop it.

5.) Believe it or not on certain occasions "Facebook Guy" might actually have something important to do and as you can imagine doesn't have the time to read through everyone's status updates like he normally might. In this circumstance he'll use the 'iLike' button like it's voicemail. He won't even read your status before just mindlessly pressing 'iLike'. You know how somebody calls your cellphone halfway hoping you don't pick up just so they can leave you a voicemail and say that they called you? That's what "Facebook Guy" is doing. "Facebook Guys" not even trying to leave his normal empty headed rambling nonsensical reply to your status. All they want to do is press the 'iLike' just to let you know that they reached out to you even though they don't care what you just said.

4.) "Facebook Guy" has over 1000 pictures on Facebook. That's just how "Facebook Guy" rolls. "Facebook Guy" doesn't retrieve his mail unless there's a red carpet trail leading up to his mailbox and paparazzi hanging over the barricades snapping pictures of him and getting him to pose. It's not that we don't all go out. It's not that we don't all get that we should have fun with our friends. We all have social lives, only the normies among us don't treat sitting in our friends' living room watching TV like it's on our bucket list and we have to snap 50 pictures of us watching 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' to preserve the special memory of us eating Dorritos and chugging a Mountain Dew like we could die any moment. "Facebook Guy" takes pictures of himself at the dentist getting root canals. It's not enough that he lives his life, you must live your life vicariously through his pictures and his updates. His life is being made into a movie everyday on Facebook. "Facebook Guy" takes a thousand pictures of himself a day just so that all his facebook friends know how much better his life is from yours.

3.) "Facebook Guy" loooooves to spam his status' to song lyrics, coded messages and general relationship whining to tell the object of his obsession that he/she is thinking about them or how they're wronging them or how upset they are making them. "Facebook Guy" couldn't care less that the other 200 people that they're friends with have to read this drivel just as long as there's an off-hand chance that the one person they're crying out to is reading it. "Facebook Guy" moans like Keith Sweat when they update their status when feeling emotional. "Facebook Guy" tries to be Edgar Allen Poe in the space of the 100 characters allowable in the status updates even though it all comes out less than poetic and more as bitter gibberish. "Facebook Guy" embarrasses themself and sounds like Kanye West on '808's and Heartbreaks' and should get a friggin' room instead of a mouse and keyboard.

2.) "Facebook Guy" LOVES to tell you what he's doing in his status updates no matter how stupid or pointless or how late or early it is in the day. "Facebook Guy" treats Facebook like it's Twitter. Only he isn't famous and you really don't care what he's doing but a.) he doesn't care that he's just some dude and not Diddy and b.) everything he does or feels is worth your time reading it -- and I mean EVERYTHING! "Facebook Guy" wakes up in the morning, walks to his computer and before he yawns he updates his status to "wiping the crust out of my eye and stretching". Before he goes to sleep in his bed at night "Facebook Guy" will lean over to his laptop and update his status with a "Good Night" as if neither you nor him could ever possibly fall asleep without knowing what he's doing at that exact moment in life. Because we all couldn't go to sleep without "Facebook Guy" bending down to kiss us on our forehead, whisper sweet nothings in out ear and tell us Goodnight.

1.) "Facebook Guy" LOVES the 'iLike' button and he's not afraid to use it. "Facebook Guy" reads every single friends status updates periodically through the day like it's his job. It's that serious to him. When he finishes reading every status update he will go ahead and click the 'iLike' button to every status update you ever write. It's a reflex to him. You could type 'My mom just died' and "Facebook Guy" will give your status the 'iLike' treatment. 'I just slit my wrists and I'm sitting in the tub, chest deep in my own blood waiting to die' and "Facebook Guy" will respond with an 'iLike'. You could update your status with "I just inhaled and oddly enough I exhaled two seconds later" and "Facebook Guy" will be sure to press the 'iLike' button express his approval. Or he'll leave some awful message that sounds like a 12 year old wrote it. A grown man/woman writing like a child. You might update your status with "I just ate Wendy's" and "Facebook Guy" might respond like:

OMG!!!! LOLz I wuz jus tlking 2 mah mom about that. What a coincidence!! We must be kindred spirits!!! OMFG!!

Anywhoo TTYL
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Just disgusting. And even after leaving said message, "Facebook Guy" will be sure to 'iLike' your status.
-------------

My advice: Stay vigilant so that you don't go down that road that leads to becoming "Facebook Guy". You're better than that. Resist the urges to act like "Facebook Guy" on Facebook. It's hard but you'll be better for it. Old habits don't die. They never completely go away. They're like cancer cells, they can go into remission if you undertake the right steps but they're always there lying in wait. Plotting their resurface like Sadaam in a spiderhole. Realize that you'll probably never rid yourself of old habits completely and that all you can do is suppress them as much as possible.All I can do is add you to my Facebook Friends list but only you can decide if you'll stay there via your behavior.

I Will Return Tommorow

2009-09-17T01:36:00.000-04:00

*Tuesday's Top Ten

*Wednesday's Woman

*Plus Much More

I'll see you later (today)

Chad Ocho Cinco on ESPN Debating With Skip Bayless 9/8/09

2009-09-08T16:42:00.000-04:00

Chad once again, doing all he can to regain my city's love which I can say he's all but accomplished, myself included.

Why Weren't Halloween Costumes This Cool When I Was a Kid?

2009-09-03T02:10:00.000-04:00

Damn. If I was this dude, I'd ring somebody's doorbell morph down into that car and scare the shit out of the person at the door.

Trailer For Jamie Foxx's Upcoming Movie "Law Abiding Citizen"

2009-08-30T13:23:00.000-04:00

This movie looks EPIC. It looks like Taken to the second power. I recommend keeping an eye out for this one strongly.

Josh Howard/Josh Hamilton: Similar Plights But DIfferent Perceptions In The Sports Media -- Does Race Factor In?

2009-08-25T23:47:00.002-04:00

I came by this article in an email from a reader suggesting I should post it and so I read it (really it only takes 10 minutes so don't be lazy. Do likewise) and it was certainly the most interesting analytical piece of social probing I've read sports-wise in a long time. Lots of good points made. All worth your consideration.

By Richie Whitt

Josh I has 26 tattoos, some of which are demons.

Belying a stable, middle-class upbringing, he has a résumé littered with revolving-door drug and alcohol rehab stints. He's a former crackhead who's admitted to driving drunk, getting high and not having the faintest idea what he might have done or where he might have done it on countless foggy last nights. He recently—only after photos surfaced on the Internet, mind you—confessed to a boffo binge in January in a Tempe tavern that ended up with him drunk, shirtless, covered in whipped cream and having his crotch massaged by three semi-dressed women, none of them his wife. In the eight months between incident and enlightenment, he continued selling his autobiography—Beyond Belief—and telling his motivational tale of born-again sobriety.

Josh II also has tattoos, including one of his grandmother's name. His childhood included a father walking out immediately after his birth and his severely bowed legs being broken below the knees and reset twice before age 2. He had an uncle killed in a robbery, a friend murdered and a sister jailed for, among other things, spitting on a cop. He's guilty of handing out birthday party fliers during a playoff series, admitting to smoking marijuana, getting arrested for drag racing and spewing out a vulgar dissin' of the national anthem at a charity flag football event.

The sagas of both Joshes sparked emotional feedback to the Dallas Observer and my Sportatorium sports blog over the last year. A sampling:

Josh I: "American hero"..."more respect for him than ever"..."never said he was perfect. But he is forgiven"..."Give the guy a break. He screwed up, but got right back on track."

Josh II: "He's just a dumb coon nigger"..."Hanged"..."I wish he'd go back to throwing spears in Africa"..."I'll never watch him play. Ever."

Josh I, of course, is Texas Rangers' two-time All-Star outfielder Josh Hamilton. Josh II, obviously, is Dallas Mavericks' former All-Star forward Josh Howard. None of their transgressions has hurt anyone other than themselves. And, relatively speaking, Howard shoots a basketball on par with how Hamilton hits a baseball.

So what gives? While Howard incited harsh criticism from yours truly and from readers—vitriolic backlash that would make even David Duke blush—Hamilton's immunity has been perplexing. You can try to ignore, dismiss or simply deny the truth, but the reality is that Hamilton comes equipped with two major antidotes in his battle for a pardoned public image:

Religion. Race.

Cringe, or even exit onto Naïve Lane if you want, but the reasons Hamilton skates are his white skin and his Jesus shield. Sorry, but our mostly white media—yep, the finger is pointing at me—and mostly white fan base treat Hamilton more favorably than Howard.

But what if Josh Hamilton was black? And Josh Howard was white? For starters, Hamilton would be immediately portrayed by the media—Me? Guilty as charged.—as a "thug" or a "crackhead punk" while Howard would be "misunderstood" or "outspoken." Howard would also, apparently, have his sins rinsed by religion.

From Robert Tilton to Quincy Carter we've seen our share of religious hypocrisy. Generally when athletes start quoting scripture we roll our eyes—something about the higher we praise Christians the bigger the bruises when they fall. Hamilton's latest pothole has invoked within me a blend of sympathy and cynicism. But to most, not even a dash of disillusion.

Second chances may be color blind. But we aren't.

Human beings tend to identify with people who look like them or share similar environments. Doesn't mean we're all racists. But we are all racial. We're easily manipulated by religion and readily influenced by color. All things equal, we'll side with our own.

Depending on where you live or what you read, there remains segregation in sports. Around these parts, similarly temperamental black players are "volatile" and white players are "fiery." Right, Terrell Owens?

As it is, Hamilton is the most beloved recovering crackhead on the planet. He's somehow the victim; addiction the villain. His story is so touching, so good, that we're moved to treat his comeback from a self-inflicted mess as some noble triumph. What, Marlon Byrd has never been tempted?

In fact, I've been criticized for referring to Hamilton as, among other things, a hypocrite. Even though he's a man who used to do A, promised to do B, but has again been caught doing A, Hamilton is somehow Teflon. Even though hypocrite is his word, not mine.

From a July 2008 story in The New York Times: "If I didn't (stay clean and sober)," Hamilton said, "I'd be the biggest hypocrite in the world."

Apparently Hamilton also forgot the evangelical virtues about being honest and forthcoming.

From his August 8 press conference in Anaheim in response to the incriminating photos that would work seamlessly in credits for The Hangover: "I don't feel like I'm a hypocrite. I feel like I'm human."

At that point, isn't it hypocritical to deny being a hypocrite?

If Hamilton was black, I fear the focus wouldn't have so quickly and smoothly shifted back onto baseball.

The player who takes part in I Am Second commercials but one night decided to bat himself first wasn't booed in Anaheim, Cleveland or Arlington, but was coddled and cuddled as an imperfect, try-hard addict. Which is great news for the Rangers, because after Hamilton's better-late-than-never apology, he finally started hitting. (Ironic that for Texas to sustain its playoff push they need an on-field relapse from Hamilton to his early '08 form.)

A black Hamilton's hiccup would've still been news, because when a team in the thick of a playoff chase has its best player admit to a night in which he got drunk, blacked out and put himself in jeopardy of getting suspended or even killed, well, that's big news. But the media wouldn't have let this one dissolve in the glass of warm water known as God, forgiveness and "nobody's perfect." If Hamilton was neither Caucasian nor Christian, questions would be asked. Legit questions, like ...

Where did he go and how did he eventually get "home" after leaving the bar?

Are we supposed to believe that the three women, after drinking with Hamilton and licking whipped cream off his naked chest and vice-versa, didn't accompany him out the door to...wherever?

In the months after the incident Hamilton continued selling his book and witnessing to groups and retelling his tale to the media about being sober since October 6, 2005. Isn't not telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but, tantamount to lying?

If he supposedly was informed by Hamilton the day after the incident, why did personal chaperone Johnny Narron respond with skeptical disbelief when initially quizzed about the pictures?

Hamilton claims to have blacked out. Does it really make sense then for him to be apologizing for things he doesn't exactly remember and aren't we, in essence, forgiving him for things that are impossible to acknowledge?

What took so long for the eight photos to surface?

Is there a photograph No. 9? Perhaps a No. 10?

To most, Josh I comes off honorable. To some, Josh II will always be despicable.

Shame it's so black and white.

It's Been Too Long

2009-08-25T14:17:00.003-04:00

"We feel your presence, just not in the physical
All across the globe now blocks are miserable
You left a void there's a lot of little you's
And they're not original
And they're not identical
They just studied your likeness and watched your interviews..."

- Jay-Z

Her legacy is slinkier — immense yet understated, just like her voice. Traces of it lie the way Ciara moved in the video for "Promise." It's there in Rihanna's runway-fashion sense. Keri Hilson's around-the-way persona and Nicole Scherzinger's simmering sexuality share a debt to her. And the sense of what her career could have ultimately become is evident in Beyonce's multimedia presence.
-MTV.com

RIP Aaliyah 1.16.79 - 8.25.01

Klansman And Black Man Forge Close Friendship

2009-08-24T02:39:00.001-04:00

I'm at a complete loss for words here. Up is down, right is left and I just don't know anymore.

Brandon Jacobs Running Brain Urlacher Over In Tonight's PreSeason Game

2009-08-22T23:37:00.005-04:00

And now a brief message from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals:

Trying to stop Brandon Jacobs is like trying to stop the world from spinning.

A fully grown rhinoceros running at 100 miles per hour has almost as much force as Brandon Jacobs when he passes the D line.

If you're ever in public and happen to see a Brandon Jacobs running down the road run to the nearest phone and contact animal control.

According to animal planet 52 recorded deaths per year can be allocated to collisions from the force of running into a Brandon Jacobs.

Bonus: Jim Rome talking about how tough Brandon Jacobs is on the radio.

Trailer For Anthony Hopkins' New Movie 'The Wolfman'

2009-08-22T18:06:00.001-04:00

Looks like it's going to be great.

Chad Ocho Cinco Explains His Favorite Saying 'Child Please'

2009-08-21T11:20:00.002-04:00

Simply brilliant. Just brilliant.

Real World Cancun: She Didn't Have To Do The Dude Like That

2009-08-21T01:38:00.010-04:00

Firstly, let me set this clip up for those who don't watch Real World or at least haven't been following this season. The black girl on the phone (Jonna) is on the show this season and she's been in a relationship with her longtime boyfriend (Matt) guy on the phone taking one of the worst L's in television history) for years and coming into the show they were head over heels in love, deeply rooted and connected with each other and the whole nine. They made a pact that over the time that Joanna would be in Cancun during the filming of The Real World, that neither she or him would cheat and throw away what they had been building long before the show came up. That was the plan. Was being the key word of course. Well about two months into the show, approximately a month from the show wrapping up, she decides to surprise her boyfriend Matt with some news that he didn't know and tell him where things were as far as she was concerned. So again, those of you who haven't been watching the show, now that you have the background on what's going on here go ahead and press play on the clip above and bear witness to one of the, if not the, worst public L's of 2009 caught on tape. It's not pretty.

*Waits for you to watch the clip*

Okay now that you've seen the clip let me just say this: I've see that clip now more times than I probably care to admit and each time it's hard to watch. I mean every time I watch it it feels like I'm watching it for the first time all over again. Her boyfriend/ex-boyfriend didn't deserve all that. Therein lies the difference between guys and girls though.

Follow me: A guy goes to the store to buy a particular shirt he's seen on sale after having learned about it either on television or print. One the way to the store he's been listening to the radio. As he's pulling up in the store's parking lot, it's just then he hears an advertisement of another store having a huge sale on the same shirt that he's about to buy at the store he's at only this place has it for $32 instead of the $35 that the store he's at is selling it. The guy knows that it's probably not worth the trouble or the hassle to go over to this other store in search of this shirt to save three dollars. Since it's a waste of time and he'd much rather stick with the place he's more comfortable with because he's already there, he just buys the shirt for $35 from the store he's at. A girl in the same exact scenario save for the shirt being a top she wants, hears about this top somewhere else for a marginally better deal won't blink. She'll start the car back up, get back on the highway and head out to the other store. Not that I'm assigning moral piety in either case, just noting the differences and there are differences. It's the same mentality with relationships too. A girl will see a guy marginally better than the guy she's with, not even necessarily enough to make the effort of being with this new guy and leaving her old guy worth it, and she'll leave the old guy fairly easily. The guy is loyal to a fault or his own detriment but once he makes a decision he lives with it and he usually doesn't let other things around him derail his mindset.

But back to the clip. Bless Matt's heart. I mean she's all but told him in no uncertain terms that she's been romantically involved with all these different guys. Even if she's not been there with any of them physically, she's been there with all of them mentally and still Matt is trying to put the pieces of his relationship back together and salvage whatever is salvageable at that point and reconcile and even as he's decent enough to do that she goes in for the kill and sticks the dagger as far as it will go into the guy and tells him to basically let it go and to stop playing a victim. Damn.

Look I've had my peaks and valleys in relationship but I've never been through what Matt went through. And to have that happen on TV too? I'm not a strong enough guy. I would have done something to somebody.

Just terrible.

Barbershop 3 Starring Ice Cube, Mike Epps and David Stern

2009-08-20T18:13:00.006-04:00

LOL obviously the title of this post is rooted in sarcasm but the video really is NBA Commissioner David Stern in the heart of Harlem in a black barbershop talking straight at regular people, answering questions, addressing various concerns, cracking jokes and being a man of the people for once. It's a good watch so be sure to check it out.

College Football Player Poll On Different Topics [Interesting Read]

2009-08-20T14:45:00.007-04:00

Let the coaches, writers and computers have their polls. But don't players have opinions? Turns out they do.

This spring, ESPN The Magazine asked 85 FBS players about drugs, playoffs, refs, gay teammates and much more. In exchange for honesty, we promised not to reveal any names or schools -- only secrets.

Who will win the 2009 Heisman trophy?

When the ballots were counted, it was a landslide -- for Colt McCoy.

The Texas QB received 42 votes, followed by Florida QB Tim Tebow (20) and Oklahoma QB Sam Bradford (9). Four others were named more than once: USC safety Taylor Mays (4), Cal RB Jahvid Best (3), Oklahoma State WR Dez Bryant (2) and Ole Miss QB Jevan Snead (2).

What player would you pay to watch?

Of 19 players, one came up most often: Tebow, who pulled in 35 percent of the votes and was the only QB among the top three. The top five vote-getters: Tebow (30), Tennessee safety Eric Berry (9), OSU's Bryant (7), Texas' McCoy (5) and Florida LB Brandon Spikes (5).

Who will win the BCS title in January 2010?

Nearly half (40) of the respondents said the Gators will help Tebow win a third BCS title. The other faves: Texas (23), Oklahoma (10), USC (9).

What is the nation's best program?

By a whisker players named Florida 32-31 over USC. But by the same thin margin, Trojans' boss Pete Carroll was the top pick when players were asked who the smartest coach is. No. 2? Florida's Urban Meyer.

What is the nation's most overrated program?

More than half of those surveyed (46) named Notre Dame or Ohio State. And the winner, if that's the right word, is -- OSU, 24 to 22. Uh, congratulations, Coach Tressel!

Do any players on your team take steroids or other PEDs?

Of those surveyed, 55 percent said they know of at least one teammate taking PEDs; among non-BCS players, 53 percent answered yes; 58 percent of BCS players said yes.

Should drugs and alcohol on campus be a bigger NCAA concern?

Just say no. That's how 52 percent of players answered, with 47 percent saying the NCAA should pay more attention to the issue.

Should guns on campus be a bigger NCAA concern?

Yes -- 21 percent; no -- 67 percent. While guns were not a concern for most players, 57 percent of the players in the Big East were alarmed at the number of firearms around the team.

Were you ever offered money during recruiting?

Yes -- 3 percent; no -- 97 percent. Few players admit to cash offers, but many concede the problem exists. Some paused long enough to make us wonder. Answered one Pac-10 player, "No. Well -- no."

Should players be paid?

A scholarship is worth about $19K a year. It sounds like a lot until you realize the bowl teams in 2008 made 148 million in postseason profit alone. That's why 71 percent of players want to be paid.

Does the FBS need a playoff?

For the postseason, 75 percent wanted change. Only one conference liked the status quo, 60 percent-40 percent: the Pac-10, winner of one BCS title (USC, 2004) in 11 years.

Better OT format, college or pro?

College -- 99 percent; pro --1 percent. The lone fan of the NFL rules? A Pac-10 player: "I like that pressure. If you lose the toss, you have to make a play to survive."

What's the worst rule in college football?

More players are worried about being heard than hurt. Excessive celebration (22 percent) was the most hated penalty, edging horse-collar tackles (12 percent) and crown-of-the-helmet hits (11 percent).

Does replay work well?

They may not like every call, but 78 percent of those polled think the refs get it right in the end, with identical responses from BCS and non-BCS players.

Are the refs doing a good job?

Although 57 percent of ACC players see room for improvement, every other conference's players gave the men in black-and-white a vote of confidence. Overall, refs get a 71 percent approval rating.

Do you notice the cheerleaders at other schools?

An overwhelming 81 percent answered yes. Players singled out seven schools: Clemson, Cincinnati (haha), Florida International, Louisville, South Florida, UCLA and their No. 1 -- Oregon.

How many times a week do you get hit on?

It's pretty good to be a college football player. On average, they're hit on 5.5 times every week. It's really good to be playing at a BCS school, where players get hit on 6.6 times a week. And it's really, really good to be a Pac-10 player, where that number is 10.2.

Should academic fraud be a bigger concern for the NCAA?

Yes -- 47 percent; no -- 51 percent. Both sides cited the Florida State scandal. Says one concerned player: "Look at what they're doing at FSU." Says one unconcerned player: "Look at what they're doing to FSU."

Do you have any gay teammates?

Almost half of those surveyed (49.4 percent, to be exact) said yes, they believe they have at least one gay teammate. In the Pac-10, 70 percent of those surveyed said yes.

Does the NCAA do enough to promote fair-hiring practices?

Even though only seven of the 120 FBS head coaches are African-American, the majority of players (61 percent) don't see a need to address minority hires. (This one makes me frown, even moreso than the OSU overrated question. Damn.)

(Credit: ESPN & Bruce Feldman and Ryan Hockensmith )

Laugh Of The Day: Patrice O'Neal On Being Careful At Rest Stops [Hilarious]

2009-08-20T12:55:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite comedians with a cautionary tale of being mindful of where you're at and your surroundings when you pull off the side of the road. This is based on a true story. (NSFW)

Wednesday's Woman: Juliana Alves

2009-08-19T14:21:00.001-04:00

And for this week's Wednesday's Woman we're going to keep it Brazilian since we're already here and go with the model/actress Juliana Alves.

Damn, Juliana looks like a 2K version of Lisa Turtle.

Nice.

New Andressa Soares VIdeo On The Science Of Her Booty (LOL)

2009-08-19T13:13:00.004-04:00

Knowledge, like booty, is power and Andressa is a powerful young lady.

Again, just to state for the record again, Brazil is a glorious place straight out of a never neverland. If I learn to speak Portuguese, I'm done here in America. I love America, love my family and friends, my president, and my way of life but I've got to think about my future. I'd feel like LeBron James after next season. I've got to seriously take a look at where I have a better chance of winning despite my hometown bias. Brazil is too lucrative a place not to jump ship to if given the opportunity. Unless America is bringing in women like Andressa Soares to keep me here I'd have to consider in the strongest possible way making a move.

Tuesday's Top Ten: Shittiest Candy Given At Halloween

2009-08-19T00:05:00.002-04:00

.....when I was a kid Halloween was my favorite holiday, not unlike most other kids. The one thing I didn't like about Halloween though was getting home, after a hard day of begging strangers, taking off my costume, stretching out on the couch only to find that the majority of my spoils was shitty candy. You put so much into Halloween too. Your parents go out and buy you a shitty cheap costume that you only picked after trying on and subsequently rejecting several other equally shitty cheap costumes. You did this though, and made your parents a party of, and sold a part of your dignity in the process of the evening, in the pursuit of candy. One figures the least people could do was reward your effort by giving you something for your troubles. Instead of Skittles or Snickers or some candy worth its weight in sugar no you receive candy that starving kids in Africa would turn down. Todays list is an ode to the candy that people loved to give you that we all hated to get. This is candy so bad that it's almost a form of mouth rape when you eat it. So without any further wait, the list which is more of an FBI Most (Un) Wanted Top Ten than anything else ....

10.) Butterfinger - We all like butterfingers. You might even be asking yourself why would I put such a delicious candy on a list of this sort? I agree with the Butterfinger nation that they make a great product only where I find displeasure is because Butterfingers don't like us back. Butterfingers are a good idea up until 5 seconds into chewing it then it's like chewing sweet rocks. Just big, sticky annoying chunks of candy stuck to your teeth that have no intention of going anywhere for the rest of your day. Too messy a candy. Butterfingers are the candy version of Iraq and Afghanistan, easy to get into but hard to get out of.

9.) Black Licorice - LOL, I'm black and so it would make sense that I would like this candy, right? Wrong. I hate this candy and everything about it. I don't even mind red licorice. Twizzlers are great. As long as their red. Somebody ever gave me a black twizzler and I became David Duke. Get. It. Out. Of. Here

8.) Milk Duds - Who eats Milk Duds? Could it possibly be the same assholes who eats Peeps at Easter and other terrible candies? Why can't they round up all these douchebags favorite candy and sell them at their own stores so that their candy never even touches the candy I like?

7.) Boston Baked Beans - I have nothing against Boston or Baked Beans. Separately I like baked beans. I also like the Celtics and don't mind the Red Sox so I guess I kinda dig Boston too but Boston Baked Beans are just disgusting.

6.) Salt Walter Taffy - I say this as a life long and avid supporter of the Cincinnati Bengals but Salt Water Taffey is the candy equivalent to my football team. It casts no dispersions as to what it is or what it's about. You pretty much either associate with it out of choice or you don't. There are no gray areas. You know exactly what you're getting into going into it.

5.) Whatever The Fuck This Candy Is - Trust me, if I could identify this candy it would be higher. But I can't so it'll have to stay at ten. This ambiguous label will have to do in a way only 'suspect: black, male and between 18-49' has to do for cops. But I know you know this candy and that plurality of those reading this have even received this candy over the years.

4.) Butter Rum / Root Beer Dum Dums - LOL, We all know when we buy a bag of Dum Dums that once the cherry flavored ones and watermelon flavored ones are out, it's a crap shoot as to which ones are the next best but Butter Rum and Root Beer are the truly crap ones. The worst most evil devious thing that Dum Dum does though is labeling some of them with that question mark so you don't know what it is and you have to stick it in your mouth to find out what it is. And then just for fun they make probability of it being one of the two most disgusting flavors like 80%. You've got a better chance of getting the pretty girl in class at school to ask you out then get a cherry or watermelon flavored Dum Dum on a mystery flavor wrapped sucker. Terrible, no good, very bad awful candy.

3.) Circus Peanuts - This might be a generation thing. I've never met anyone under 50 that eats this. Are your taste buds the first thing that starts failing you as you get old? Because if that's the case I wish to die young and leave a pretty decent looking corpse in my wake. Circus Peanuts ought to be given to the animals of an actual circus and never to the humans in the stands or anywhere else. If I was God, these wouldn't even exist. Not in my universe. No way no how.

2.) Tootsie Roll - The only acceptable Tootsie Roll are the assorted fruit flavored tootsie rolls. The regular chocolately look and I would imagine also taste like rabbit shit. Not only is it cheap but it even tastes like it costs a penny per piece which is probably why after a long night of trick or treating when you looked into your candy bag it was almost all tootsie rolls. This also explains how easy it was to throw that shit in the woods before you came home. The effort of knocking on doors was greater than the coast of said candy. Tootsie Pops are a different case entirely though strangely enough

1.) Candy Corn - There are in fact things that are worse than death, like prison or what happens in prison and yes of course candy friggin' corn. Candy corn is so bad and so cheap that they don't even put it in a wrapper. They just put it in a bag, for easy access to for houses that offer candy for trick or treating, so all the person giving it has to do is stick a hand in the bag and spread it around. Like germs don't exist. It's not even the germs that's the worst part though. The candy is much worse. I'd rather have a scratchy throat, a runny nose and a cough than have a mouthful of candy corn. Corn isn't even a fun thing to eat and I'd rather eat corn than candy corn and I love sugar. I'm from a long line of people with diabetes. If restaurants served candy corn and the salad bar and nothing else, America would not have an obesity crisis on it's hands right now. We'd all have six packs. Bill Maher put it best in his book:

Michael Vick On 60 Minutes August 16, 2009

2009-08-16T21:43:00.003-04:00

I don't know what other blogs are posting because in all honesty I don't visit all the other blogs like that. So if you haven't seen this already I'm posting it for your viewing specifically. To be honest, I can't tell you if Vick is being genuine or sincere here or if he's been well coached by a line of PR people inserting ready-made words in his mind packaged for mass consumption but I don't think that's the point. America stands for second chances and it's in this country's DNA to hold true to that ethos. Sink or swim even people who kill dogs are due these opportunities we afford to politicians, coaches and in some cases even family. So in that mindset as a Bengals fan, I cannot wish Vick luck since he plays for another NFL team but I do wish him well.

Create Your Own Customized Bumper Sticker For Free [LOL, This Is Official Right Here]

2009-08-15T16:19:00.000-04:00

This might sound corny to some, but I like bumper stickers. Of course, it has to be the right one for me to sign off on but if it's witty and or it's in support of someone I like, more power to you. i might let you cut in front of me in traffic and I'm a complete jerk on the highway. But more to the point, Gliffik is offering a free one time custom bumper sticker that you design and put words to that they'll send you in 1-2 weeks for $0. Of course, since 'Child Please' is my favorite saying here's the bumper I came up with:

LOL, it's up to you how you can come up with yours but again it's totally free and if this is your thing go HERE and go design yourself one. I don't know how long this promotion will be for so don't sleep. Take advantage.

Where Are They Now? Dina From 'Salute Your Shorts'

2009-08-12T20:23:00.004-04:00

Not a long post, and I'll keep this short and to the point. Many a young man who are now of their 20's came up on the fineness we all knew as 'Dina' on Nickelodeon's "Salute Your Shorts". Seemingly racially ambiguous and pleasing to many of our eyes she was many of our first television crushes. Well we grew up and forgot about her and apparently she grew up too and she's still fine.

This was her then:

This is her now:

Wednesday's Woman: Francia Raisa

2009-08-12T20:03:00.000-04:00

Man, you all will have to forgive me as I haven't posted a Wednesday's Woman in many moons. But alas, I've found the next fixation of the moment, actress Francia Raisa. Apparently she's been a a few dance genre flicks and currently she's on some kiddie show on ABC but her looks are anything but juvenile. I'll let the pics illustrate my point...

Beautiful.

Could You Pass The U.S Citizenship Test?

2009-08-10T23:35:00.000-04:00

Think you can? Go here and try...

(Credit: The Buffalo Kid)

Me? I got an 85%

But of course I got an 85%. Reminds of the Dave Chappelle joke where his white friend he's with gets pulled over for speeding and tells the cop that he didn't know he couldn't go that fast and Dave told him that that kind of thing would work for black people because they know we know the law and how every black person is their own qualified paralegal, LOL.

Take the test see how good you are with the the law.

Video Of The Day : AND1 Style Water Basketball Dunking

2009-08-10T13:50:00.001-04:00

You give kids a camera, youtube and let them run free and usually you end up with something funny. LOL @ this.

Ron Artest Wants You To Call Him @ (832) 260-8192

2009-08-06T14:09:00.003-04:00

LOL, this man is either insane or a brilliant marketer. Probably a little from this hand, a little from that hand. Either way he's taking your calls and here's the video proof of him talking to people. It's a a shame he's going to be my sworn enemy come November though because he's a very endearing basketball player and personality.

But in other news he just threw $45,000 at a poor kid in a recent trip to China because he wanted to help him. Gotta report the bad and the good with Artest as it's rarely all one thing so it's important to be even handed.

WUHAN, China, Aug. 6 (Xinhua) -- Los Angeles Lakers star Ron Artest has donated his diamond watch to a high school student in Wuhan Wednesday to support his education.

Zheng Fengyu, 15, is the captain of Wuhan NO.1 middle school's basketball team.

Ron played basketball with Zheng Wednesday afternoon, and gave the boy later his watch, which is worth 45,000 U.S. dollars (about 300,000 yuan), according to a report by local media.

"He is great. Never let me shoot easily," Artest said. "Hope this can help realize his basketball dream."

Zheng was born in a poor family in Wuhan, a city renowned for heavy industry in central China.

After getting the watch, the teenager said with appreciation. "August 14th is my birthday, this is just the perfect gift for me," he said.

Ron played basketball with Chinese young players in a local university in the afternoon, attracting nearly 3,000 people to watch.

Seth Rogen On Getting Rejected By Megan Fox On Jimmy Kimmel [Absolutely Hilarious]

2009-08-04T16:37:00.000-04:00

Seth Rogen is increasingly becoming my favorite comedian still in the game. For the record, I don't consider Dave Chappelle semi-retired and no longer active.

Free 12-Month Dime Magazine Subription

2009-08-02T20:49:00.006-04:00

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If you answered yes to at least one of these questions then help yourself to a free 12-Month subscription to DIME Magazine. No catch. No pop-ups. No credit card information giving. Just a link.

Fill in your information. Wait 6-8 weeks and you're all set!

LINK

The Worst Fart In The History Of Man Caught On Tape

2009-08-02T17:28:00.001-04:00

LOL @ this. Pretty funny.

NBA Jerseys Reinvisioned (Conceptual NBA Jerseys)

2009-08-01T21:33:00.007-04:00

The web is a wild and wondrous place full of things that catch your eye every so often. I was caught off guard more or less looking at some NBA jerseys that through cutting edge technology were reimagined by various designers. I saved a couple dozen to demonstrate what I mean so take a look, some you will like and some you won't but I'll be damned if I won't consider writing David Stern to make that black Houston Rockets jersey happen!

Alright the white Wade jersey is a little gay but the taxi colored David Lee New York Knicks jersey is a nice touch.

This Just Don't Make No Damn Sense

2009-08-01T19:09:00.000-04:00

What the hell is this? I mean I'm all for gay people living their lives. I'd march on Selma for people and their freedoms as I see a commonality in my struggle as a minority and theirs but this is too much. There are boundaries to being a butch gay woman, lady. Freedom of expression only goes so far. This is America, baby. You gotta put the roof back on the car. This ain't Africa and you ain't posing for a National Geographic magazine cover. LOL @ people walking by and in the background like ain't nothing out of the ordinary. I admit though if the woman was more attractive I might object a little less to it and that's probably wrong because I should stand on principle but it makes a difference to me if Mila Kunis is doing this than if Karl Malone's little sister is.

This just don't make no damn sense.

Barack Obama Doing His Best Michael Jackson Impression

2009-07-28T18:20:00.000-04:00

LOL @ this shit.

Great New Paul Rodriguez Nike Commercial Featuring Ice Cube

2009-07-26T15:56:00.000-04:00

P-Rod always makes a dope shoe and has always been my dude. Can't say that this commercial does anything to tarnish his upstanding place in my eyes.

Good Commercial.

Dexter Season Four Trailer

2009-07-24T18:09:00.000-04:00

Not everyone who visits this blog probably watches the show, I'm conscious of this, but I do so I'm posting it anyway. My favorite show returns this fall and I don't know what I'm anticipating more the show or football. We'll have to settle for the teaser and fantasy football drafts until then though so enjoy.

As a L.A Lakers Fan Hitler Is Starting To Get Pretty Pissed About How The Lamar Odom Negotiations Are Going

2009-07-21T23:26:00.001-04:00

I proudly present, Adolf Buss....

L.M.A.O!!!

Folks, If We Can't Believe In Joe Jackson....

2009-07-20T22:11:00.003-04:00

...when he tells us he never beat Michael or when he tells us that he doesn't know if he'll turn Michael Jackson's kids into the 'Jackson 3' at some point, then I ask you, who can we believe?

LOL, I report, you decide. Fair & Balanced blogging over here.

Billy Mays Hasn't Even Been Dead A Month Yet and...

2009-07-18T22:22:00.000-04:00

...the most God awful new products are hitting the infomercial circuit. I saw this the other night and lost it at how bad a product this is. Disgusting.

A Letter To Stevie Wonder About His Hairline From a Concerned Fan

2009-07-18T13:45:00.005-04:00

I did not write this letter. I do not purport to have been the genius to have thought of this but I can't front because I wish I did. I mean we all think it when we see him and to that end we all privately discuss the topic with friends but when we're in public settings we ignore the issue and try and be polite and diplomatic like we don't notice it. Avoiding Stevie Wonder's hairline is like ignoring someone whose musty or whose breath stinks and in close proximity and not wanting to offend . Well the gloves are coming off and Stevie needs to hear the straight dope and I'm glad my man over at Bozack Jenkins had the guts to say what we all wanted to aloud and the diction to put the words together just right....So here it is folks...A letter to Stevie and his hairline....warning this is NSFW and should be read in that spirit

Dearest Stevland Hardaway Judkins,

You are that nigga, twice.

In fact, you are the alpha nigga that all of the rest of us inferior, mortal niggas aspire to be like.. (well, outside of the whole walking into walls cuz you're blind thing.. I'm assuming you probably fuck the ugly groupies too, huh?).. your name is synonymous with the type of success even Kanye would've sniped his own mother for.. you have more hit records than I have years on planet Earth.. you have the adulation of millions of people, and have single handledly influenced more pregnancies than Shawn Kemp.. you have attainted a level of sonic diety that will never be duplicated by man, woman, or Milli Vanilli..

If Juelz Santana is truly the embodiment of crack in the flesh (AYE!), then you, Stevland (AYE!), are the human embodiment of God himself..

You didn't create the world in seven days, but you were the architect behind music that will survive just as long as the very planet it was created on..

Take a bow, Mr. Judkins.. You truly are that nigga twice.

But alas, even God's fall from grace, and on those rare occasions, are capable of discovering fault within themselves.. imperfection is the curse of man that tragically, some God's are unable to abstain from.. and since I'm unable to leave this task to the mirrors in your home due to your loss of functional vision, I will take it upon myself to share with you the truth..

The charade must end, dearest Stevland.. it's time.

You see (actually no you don't, my bad), your lack of sight leaves you at the mercy of your peers, and clearly those same "allies" are on a mission to embarress you & assassinate your public image as covertly as humanly possible.. when you smile for the cameras, little do you know these common mediums of digital photography are not only recording the happiness you bear within that legendary grin, but the tragedy continuing to transpire above your eyebrows..

Stevland, you have more Grammys than you do hair follicles.. your hairline and my virginity share the same experation date.. if your stylist would be as malicious as to dress you in a tan suit, you'd resembe Lt. Worf to the T.. your name will be on the marquee in the next Aliens Vs. Predators sequel.. allow me to express the severity of the situation through means I'm sure you can identify & relate to:

"All I Do" is get distracted by your forehead, Stevland.

The "Ribbon In The Sky" fell off a cloud and is hanging on for dear life on the back of your head & neck, Stevland.

You are the victim of a "Part-Time ~~Lover~~ Hairline", Stevland.

"Yester-Me, Yester-You, Yester-HAIR", Stevland.

Mr. Judkins, it's time.

For a mere $12 I can put you in contact with a certified hair care technician who can rid you of the shame and complete & utter lack of dignity clinging on for dear life north of the back of your neck.. and for an additional $2, I'll even have him line up that fucked up pube-stache you've been rockin' since like '73.. you may balk at the price, but don't consider it compensation, consider it an investment into your own peice of mind.. aren't you tired of your doo rag laughing manically at you as you go to cover up what's left of your braids every night?

Stevland, unlike those parasites in your corner, who have you sign legal documents you can't even read and fuck all the dope groupies while leaving you with the Sheneneh-esque crumbs, I am genuinely looking out for your best interests; both as a fan, and as a man.. I understand it's common for most older gentlemen to brave the riducle and do what they can to salvage their hair, but when your hairline becomes parallel to your ears drums, I am left with an intervention as my only recourse..

I'm doing this because I love you, Stevland.

I beg of thee.. please.

Don't be the next contestant on that Summer Jam screen.

I can save you, Stevland, but salvation lies in the hands of a barber.. please, allow him to cut that shit off, and allow yourself learn to love life again..
You've carried the cross long enough, friend.. allow me to serve as your savior.

Sincerely,
The Incomparable Bozack Jenkins

Pure genius.

Wesley Snipes Goes To Jail Cartoon (Voiced By Comedian Patrice O'Neal)

2009-07-18T13:28:00.003-04:00

LOL @ this. Although it didn't start getting really funny until about the 2:00 mark. Just be patient. (You know damn well you ain't doing shit anyway so press play).

Where Are They Now: Steve Francis

2009-07-18T13:13:00.002-04:00

(LOL @ me looking at this pic and thinking Steve's arm was hers. Big wide ass fingers and shit. I was about dumb out on her for having Ninja Turtle hands.)

The hell happened to Steve Francis? Damn. 32 and washed up and smoked up. I swear great basketball players of the last generation used to be great into their mid-thirties and didn't start declining until their late thirties. Meanwhile Iverson, Marbury, Francis, Antoine Walker all stink and nobody wants them or has wanted them really since they were thirty. Football players lasted longer than them and they're professional crash dummies for a living. Jesus, Brett Favre's arm is held together by a piece of bubble gum and chicken wire and people still fly to Mississippi to coerce him out of retirement and he's like 50 and these cats can't get a run in at the local Y. Shameful. I'm mad Steve Francis won't change his game and I'm mad that he looks like K-Ci or JoJo, whichever one that weighs like 95 pounds and has the noticeable drug problem.

Sad thing is that Memphis Grizzlies didn't even want Antoine Walker or Steve Francis in the past year. Now that's saying something. The Los Angeles Clippers are who the Memphis Grizzlies want to be when they grow up. The Grizzlies are so bad Canada didn't want them and there ain't shit to do in Canada at all. Kurt Angle (while in Vancouver) famously joked: "In Canada, you can't even have a barbecue in your backyard without being attacked by a moose or even a grizzly bar. Then again the Grizzlies don't beat anyone here in Vancouver, oh it's true, it's true." The Grizzlies need bodies like the Army needs bodies and THIS is the squad that felt Walker and Francis were below them?

Yall dudes, man I swear.

Funniest Video Of The Month: The New Suge Knight Night Light Commercial!

2009-07-14T03:05:00.002-04:00

ROTFLMAOGIPTNPTMTAWTPTUKTITSASCST!

(Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off Getting Up PileDriving The Nearest Person To Me Through A Wooden Table Picking Them Up Kicking Them In The Stomach And Stone Cold Stunning Them)

Louis Farrakhan On Michael Jackson Before He Died [Very Compelling Video]

2009-07-13T20:05:00.001-04:00

I'm not going to act like I was a huge Michael Jackson fan while he was alive but I have come to understand Michael a lot more recently when I put his life in perspective and took a step back and viewed his perceived eccentricities. This video is Louis Farrakkhan who admittedly isn't my favorite person in the world for many many reasons but what he says in this video is very very interesting and worth your time to digest the sum of his thoughts about Michael and him addressing the nature of Michael's perceived freakish aura. So at least watch the video, then tell me if you think differently afterwards...

LOL, Upon Further Review Obama Isn't Near The Ass Man President Sarkozy Is...

2009-07-12T22:09:00.003-04:00

That dude is totally shameless. My dude is 'Ain't no shame to my game' status.

Tim Duncan Drinking a Bad Bottle of Gatorade

2009-07-11T21:24:00.002-04:00

LMAO! I've had to run this one back at least a dozen times today.

Updating An Earlier Story Of Kobe Clowning LeBron @ His Basketball Camp, We Have Video Confirmation LMAO!

2009-07-11T18:16:00.003-04:00

You have to fast forward to the end to hear the now famous Kobe line "I don't get dunked on at my camp" like but it's certainly worth the price of admission to watch the whole video instead of skipping to the 6:00 mark to hear it.

I hate to say it but Kobe is becoming more likable (pause) by the day. I can't lie.

Original story can be found here if you don't feel like scrolling down to the text a few posts below.

Download The New Seth McFarlane "Cleveland Show" First Episode Before It Airs

2009-07-11T01:38:00.006-04:00

I'm not even the type to do things like this but a little birdie passed a link along to me to preview the new "Family Guy" spin off before it's scheduled air date of September 27. I'm a Family Guy fan so this is right down my alley.

Episode Synopsis:

Cleveland Brown moves with Cleveland, Jr. from Quahog, Rhode Island to his hometown of Stoolbend, Virginia to reunite with his high school girlfriend.

Download HERE

Enjoy...

(Note: I didn't up this one, so I won't take credit for it. I'm just providing the link that I got. )

LOL @ This; Just Because You Think You're Going To Jump Someone Doesn't Mean You Can't Be Jumped

2009-07-10T18:43:00.010-04:00

LOL, when you watch this, just note 3 things:

1.) The energetic Mexican kid looking like he's ready for battle, only the kinds of battles he likes are the kinds where it's 2 on 1 in his favor.

2.) The guy in the white shirt on the ground and how convenient it was when he came to when the danger had been averted.

3.) The guy in the Reggie Bush jersey's gullyness is the stuff of Toughman Competitions, LOL.

Pictures Are Worth 1,000 Words

2009-07-10T17:03:00.004-04:00

Five seconds later....

LOL, who knows though...the video might clear things up for you though so check it out.

Friday Night Funny: The Voices Of The Simpsons On Inside The Actors Studio, LOL

2009-07-10T16:56:00.003-04:00

I know everybody is too fucking cool to press play on any video people post on blogs because it takes too long to load or play or too much effort on your part. We're all lazy, self-obsessed readers, myself included. I've been there before. But seriously, I wouldn't waste your time if I didn't personally certify this as worth the effort of watching. So press ply and enjoy this. It's really quite brilliant. Honestly.

And LeBron Continues To Catch Shrapnel Over "Confiscated DunkTapeGate"

2009-07-10T16:28:00.000-04:00

This new report from Kobe's Summer Camp, LOL

From Kobe’s basketball Academy tonight, Kobe accepted the challenge of a one-on-one game with a trash-talking-happy camper. Earlier in the day, when we were filming the courts with Kobe roaming them watching his campers, the camper told Kobe he’d “need lotion for his feet when he was done.” Kobe, beaming at his young camper, responded with, “I’ve got a long list of people like you.” The trash talking continued on in a fun, competitive way; both smiling at each other.

When it was almost time for the one on one game, Kobe told the kid he could shoot for outs and told him he’d better make it or it’s game over for him.

Kobe backed him down point after point; telling him he wouldn’t take it easy on him as promised earlier in the week when he accepted the camper’s challenge. At the end of it, Kobe won 5-0 and grabbed the mic to ask him what the kid had learned. The courageous camper responded with, “You won’t be able to win at Lebron’s camp!”

Kobe, laughing, responded back with: “I also won’t get dunked on in my own camp.”

LeBron needs to get off the snide and start winning at life again. He's suffered too many losses over the past two months. It all starts with staying home more often (cutting out the canoodling with Jay-Z), hitting the gym harder than ever (also it wouldn't hurt to bring Shaq's fat, unmotivated ass with you), and laying the foundation for being successful next year.

Bill O'Reilly On Michael Jackson Last Night

2009-07-08T18:46:00.001-04:00

O'Reilly is a complete jerk. *shakes head*

Michael Jackson's Musical Influence In Picture Form

2009-07-02T20:12:00.000-04:00

Wow is all you can say. R.I.P to the greatest.

Black People Casting Shame Amongst The World Again

2009-06-25T18:14:00.000-04:00

This is absurd. I'm so past embarrassed. :(

Jamie Foxx Impersonating Prince/John Legend/Lil Wayne/Terrence Howard/Luther Vandross + Bonus

2009-06-25T12:43:00.001-04:00

Just a little something to break up the monotony of the work week for you guys. This is one of the BET Awards Show Scraps from the cutting room floor I suppose Jamie Foxx recorded. Very funny.

(Click the number 2 below)

====

Bonus

====

Jamie giving a speech to Al Pacino a few years back at the AFI Tribute to Pacino. Some might have seen it. I think I had already seen it too but it had been a little while and so it was like watching it all over again when I checked it out earlier so from me to you. Watch and laugh...

Tuesday's Top Ten: Corniest Caricatures On The Internet

2009-06-23T19:23:00.005-04:00

Okay, if you've ever been a member of internet message boards or even lurked on a message board or two in your time this list will make sense. These are the most loathsome creatures on the internets as far as I see. Most people will find this funny and if you don't then you're probably one of these guys on this list if not a full manifestation of 3 or 4 of these guys.

Onto the list...

Get Personal With a Screename Guy - We all know a guy or two who gets all worked up and tries to set up an encounter with someone they don't know because their feelings were hurt and its always corny. Then there's the people who talk about children and mothers and family members and go all disrespectful to try and come across as the bigger douchebag and that's equally corny. I've never had to resort to calling someone's dead mother or newborn child something because I had a beef with anybody on the net and if you have to do that seek help. The internet isn't real and you're reaching way too far to make it real.

I Got 150 posts and 147 Of The Were From Arguing Guy - This guy doesn't back down under any circumstances. His mother's funeral could be going on in an hour and you just know that if you say something else to him, he'd tell the family that he'd meet them at the church even though the family limo is out front. He'd be still going back and forth with the internet decked out in his suit with the jacket on the bed, rolled up sleeves, ready to go in because that guy doesn't lose an internet argument. He's a warrior and it's just that serious to him. I mean this guy doesn't even go to sleep if he's in the midst of an argument because no matter what he will have the last word. In his mind he can't let the fight go to the judges card overnight after you've both said your peace. No this guy will sacrifice sleep and if he's got a girlfriend, which I doubt, he'd sacrifice the sex too. Because that's what champions do and this guy if nothing else is all about the 'W'. If there's a power outage, he's got a backup laptop. If there's no juice in it, he's got a iPhone to argue on. If that's broke as a last line of defense he's got the friend with computer and don't think he won't break the glass to get to that fire extinguisher. That's who this guy is.

I'm Only Online For The Sex Guy - This character is not an internet geek, he's just a geek who in his mind just so happens to be on the internet. There's a difference. He just gets girls exclusively online. Not that he doesn't get them in real life because of course he does. Just ask him. It's just easier and less time consuming to just add somebody as a friend, go back and forth on each other's wall trading notes, finally getting the number, working up the nerve to call said girl only to repeat earlier back and forth conversations only this time over the phone instead of the internet. Everybody has their goals on the internet and this guy is just clear about his objectives and you should respect it. He's Pepe LePew with a laptop.

I'm Cooler Than Everybody Else Using The Computer Guy - This guy is probably the worst of the worst because he's every arrogant person you've ever met in real life all rolled into one and to make matters worse he's got the anonymity of a screename so he's got the prick knob turned all the way up even more so than he does in real life because you don't know him and never will and he knows it. This guy thinks everything you ever do or says is irrelevant and everything about him is relevant and he's not afraid to tell you either. He's all about himself. If he listens to it, it's great music and if you don't, then stop breathing and collapse to the ground and die. And if it isn't too much to ask, make sure you fall in a hole so the graveyard doesn't have to do much. Actually that may be too much, I mean contrary to most people's beliefs he thinks everybody should have an opinion, just make sure that your opinion and his opinion look alike though before voicing it and I'm not talking just brother-sister alike but twin brother-sister alike. If this guy digs a song, it better be your ringtone. If he hates an album you better have photos on your blackberry of you taking a shit on it after you've burned it, used the ashes to roll a blunt with it, smoked it and put it out with your shoe on the ground.

Tough Guy - He's similar to 'Get Personal With Screename Guy' but this guys more of a fighter. If you piss this guy off the least you're going to get is an asswhooping. That's the minimum. The most that will happen to you might be death. This cat might bring the desert eagle to your door and go Tony Soprano all over you and your family. You don't want to piss off this guy. Lest you do, don't give him any information about yourself or he's likely to go Liam Neeson on you in "Taken" and hunt you down. He's been to jail and he'd love to and wants to go back.

Give Me Attention Guy- He'll act like he's crazy and he's not all their and that he lives an unorthodox life and he's done everything that you haven't but he hasn't done shit. He wants attention and he'll do anything and say anything to get it from you because real life deprived him of it completely a long time ago. There are walls worth watching more than him.

Contrary Mary - Whatever you say, he's going to say the opposite. No matter what position you take, he's running counter that. This guys running an internet playbook loaded with trick plays and gadget plays designed to piss you off. If you say its sunny outside he'll call you a blind idiot and say that it's night. You say the sky is blue, he'll swear by green. I wouldn't even be surprised if you told him that his mother was a fine, upstanding model member of the community that he would just tell you that she's a whore and that he himself was conceived in the backseat of a car by a guy who isn't his father. There are no limits to this guys fullofshitness.

The Professor - Sure, he could get his point across with a sentence or two but it wouldn't be an appropriate means of conveying his intellect. No, this guy doesn't get out of bed in the morning unless he's got a page worth of conversation in his skull to type first.

Makes No Sense Guy - This person is one of God's special little projects. He speaks only in a manner decipherable to himself and makes sense only to himself. He's got 1000 posts under his belt and everyone of them has gone unreplied to. The next time somebody read his shit would also be the first. Best of all, he's not a quitter and his will can't be broken.

Mr. Co-Sign - He jumps from post to post cosigning people at random with LOLs and LMAOs and ROTLMAOs and any other absurd abbreviated cartoonish way of approving somebody else's words. He's of no real value to the messageboard he posts at or the internet itself. He's an unabashed consumer of everyone else's efforts on the internet giving only the illusion that he's one of the guys adding to the website by saying something only everytime he says something, he says nothing; less than nothing really because echoing someone else most of the time is often worse than just being quiet. Vile, wretched human being.

Even if you haven't enjoyed these jerks I hope you've enjoyed the list. More to come later....

Obama Challenging LeBron James To Go One-On-One @ The White House

2009-06-21T16:48:00.000-04:00

It’s not much of a contest; on paper, at least. A 6-foot, 2-inch, 180-pound, 47-year-old amateur against a 6-foot, 8-inch, 250-pound, 24-year-old pro who won the National Basketball Association’s Most-Valuable Player award this year. Except the amateur will have home-court advantage: the South Lawn of the White House.

In an interview with Bloomberg News this week, President Barack Obama said he would soon invoke executive privilege to summon the Cleveland Cavaliers’ LeBron James and possibly other NBA stars to the White House to shoot some hoops. “As soon as we get the basketball nets up we’re going to have some of these guys over for a game,” Obama said. Asked if he’d be playing, Obama bristled: “Of course. It’s my court.” James paid a visit to the White House on June 15. Obama said he was awed by both the size and skills of the man who averaged 28.4 points, 7.6 rebounds and 7.2 assists this season in helping take his team to the NBA Eastern Conference Finals.

“When you get up close to him he’s a legitimate six- eight, six-nine. He’s huge. Moving that kind of speed? It’s pretty remarkable,” Obama said. Miami Heat Guard Dwyane Wade visited the White House yesterday to promote a Father’s Day mentoring program.

For all James’ prowess, he may need to break a sweat when he takes on Obama. The president is the most active athlete to occupy the White House in recent memory, and he will soon make history as the first to have his own court. The venue will be the White House tennis court, shrouded in pine trees on the South Lawn, which is being repurposed as a home for the new one-man Team USA. Josh Earnest, a White House spokesman, said work is currently under way on the project. Basketball lines are being painted on the tennis court and removable basketball hoops are being installed. Ann Smith, the White House liaison for the National Park Service who is in charge of the maintenance of White House grounds, said it cost $4,995 to clean and “restripe,” or paint fresh lines on the court and an “incidental” fee to cover the poles holding up the tennis net. Earnest wouldn’t comment on the cost of the hoops.
Obama, a lifelong player, even found time for pick-up games in the midst of a grueling campaign. In an interview with NBC’s Brian Williams on June 2, he said he has played “a couple of times” since taking office in January. “For an old guy,” he said, “I’m hanging in there.”

“Basketball is a game where you have to bump into other people,” said Claude Johnson, 49, whose blog “Baller-in- Chief.com” links to articles about the president and his love of the game. Johnson said reaction to the site has been “explosive.” Though an average player in high school, Obama had a solid longshot, earning him the nickname “Barry O- Bomber,” he said. Johnson said basketball has helped Obama connect to young people and has shaped his character.
“The world is analogous to a pick-up game of basketball,” Johnson said. “Since you never know whose side you’re going to be on the next time around, you’re not interested in destroying teammates.” There is no shortage of people who want to watch the president play. A “Barack O-Balla” posting on YouTube, which strings together clips of Obama playing basketball to a rap soundtrack, has gotten more than 400,000 hits.

See, I was always under the impression that you had to win the championship to meet the president. My fault, huh? How'd I get that crazy notion in my head?

A Couple Hilarious Videos For The Week

2009-06-20T16:08:00.001-04:00

The first and most funny thing I've seen in 2009 is this video where this nerd is punished by his mother canceling his World of Warcraft subscription and him finding out and what follows is his brother taping his temper tantrum which is truly a gem that must be witnessed by all. Hat tip to The Grip for this.

The 2nd video is from Omaha, Nebraska where an Arkansas sports reporter is cast among the drunk young fans of LSU who almost nobody outside of Louisiana probably roots for. Anyway I don't ever give them credit for anything but I must give respect where respect is due and this is one funny clip. This reporter had no idea the shitstorm that he was in the eye of, LOL.

LOL @ Kobe At The Lakers Parade

2009-06-20T15:42:00.004-04:00

I've been giving Kobe props but this is some self-serving individual look at me marketing me shit right here...

One of these things is not like the other ones.

Sidenote: I can't lie, the four ring puppet shirt is kind of gangster. Selfish for the event, but gangster.

Hat Tip: Reds Army

Slam Magazine's Top 50 NBA Players Of All-Time

2009-06-20T15:26:00.000-04:00

1) Michael Jordan
2) Wilt Chamberlain
3) Bill Russell
4) Shaquille O'Neal
5) Oscar Robertson
6) Magic Johnson
7) Kareem Abdul Jabbar
8) Tim Duncan
9) Larry Bird
10) Jerry West
11) Elgin Baylor
12) Kobe Bryant
13) Hakeem Olajuwon
14) Bob Pettit
15) Julius Erving
16) Moses Malone
17) John Havlicek
18) Karl Malone
19) Isiah Thomas
20) Charles Barkley
21) Rick Barry
22) John Stockton
23) Elvin Hayes
24) Bob Cousy
25) David Robinson
26) Kevin McHale
27) Scottie Pippen
28) Jason Kidd
29) George Mikan
30) Kevin Garnett
31) Willis Reed
32) Wes Unseld
33) Nate Thurmond
34) Dolph Schayes
35) Walt Frazier
36) Patrick Ewing
37) Jerry Lucas
38) Gary Payton
39) Allen Iverson
40) Billy Cunningham
41) Clyde Drexler
42) LeBron James
43) Dominique Wilkins
44) Dave Cowens
45) George Gervin
46) Bob McAdoo
47) Earl Monroe
48) Dennis Rodman
49) Walt Bellamy
50) Steve Nash

I think this is a solid list. Some players are higher than I might have put them, some lower, and there are some that I think are missing but all in all not bad. I'd grade the list maybe a B-.