Saturday, May 31, 2008

Kobe Telling His Fans To Chill With The MJ Comparisons


You know the little Stanley's won't stop with the false comparisons though. Even though their hero even recognizes he's not Jilla.

Michael Jordan. Your favorite player's favorite player. LOL

Avery Johnson Lost

Not too many words, just watch the video and read the paragraph that follows.


Avery Johnson can't sell Defense (which is free mind you) to the Dallas Mavericks but he can sell gas guzzling, over-priced Nissan's to regular joes? Uhh how about no. Also how about getting into the pulpit since you've got all the free time. now, Ave. You were born with the voice of a pastor, plus your suit closet and hair are in agreement. And who wouldn't give up their Sunday afternoons to hear your voice and get closer to God at the same time. That's like a buy One Get One Free all in itself.

Then again your dealership is in George Bush's backyard. You are in the right place seeing how you are in the oil man's state so maybe you can make a few cars move. Seems like a natural fit. Like funeral homes in bad neighborhoods. Like check cashing establishments in the ghetto. Good luck, little floor general.

Basketball Players & White Women

I'm not noting this to be divisive but its paramount to being a black basketball player to be surrounded with white women. In a sense I don't even blame Kobe (for Colorado, at least). White women are gorgeous. LOL. Not that I'm trying to Uncle Ruckus y'all out or anything but they are. Just like every other race of women. And black women this includes y'all so save your hate mail for somebody like OJ. And don't give me that my mother is black so I should be with a black woman like it should be mandatory. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Why do I have to live my life parallel to my father's life? It's impossible. He liked the Lakers during their three-peat. He paid $0.42/gallon for gas in his life. My dad voted for George W. Bush in one of the elections. He makes his path and I'm walking mine. That should be that.

I digress, the internet is a wonderous place full of music pirating, barely clothed women and sure enough pictures of athletes with white women in public places. Always funny to see whose ugly ass would get no play otherwise cheese for cameras with women who only see a bank account and a fitted. The funniest pictures of the gallery are from these alien looking cats:

LOL it ain't even like the majority of these chicks are dope or anything it's just the principle.

Anyway, more funny pictures here in this Flickr Gallery that some kind soul put together most assuredly for the pleasure of His Aura Was Orange.

Newest Internet Rap Battle Youtube High School Video

Definitely not Eli Porter status but funny nevertheless.

Also listen to the first judge after the actual battle and tell me if she doesn't butcher to death one of the Top Ten Overused Words from earlier this week.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Aural Pleasure

I'm switching up things a little bit today and uploading some of my favorite Alternative songs. I mostly only drop R&B around these parts but this is good music too and I'd be remiss in my duties if I didn't show my versatility here.
Once again, if you trust my judgment than take the trip with me on these and download and enjoy, if not, come back later and I'm going to post something funny that we can all enjoy.

Funny Videos With Gully Babies

My niece is still greater than these two babies but they made me chuckle so watch & be entertained.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Update On Last Weeks List of Top Ten Overachieving Negros

This is just in and new to me but apparently singer/actor/activist Saul Williams aka the guy singing the song on the Nike 'Sparq Training Videos'
is married to the television show Girlfriends star Persia White. Word's don't quite do the noteworthy nature of this moment of overachieving justice.

Him:
&

Her:

Are Married.

Apparently my best really does owe his best 20 bucks. Well done, sir.

*By the way, his "List of Demands" song is actually pretty good. But yeah he just earned a top 3 spot on last week's list.

Debunking Myths One Lie @ a Time: Blacks Only Support Obama Because He's Black

Today's Myth: Blacks who vote for Obama are doing so because he's black and it should be viewed in the same light as people who vote for Hillary because she's white and familiar along the political landscape of white Americans in power in politics.

Truth: This is complete malarkey and if someone is telling you this to your face and you buy it you should hand your wallet to your wife because they can easily sell you beanstalks and what other usless crap that nobody in their right minds would want to buy and by the end of the conversation you'll be broke.

It's not advantageous to present yourself to the American public and/or self-identify as black in a country that is 74% white on the whole. It's not an accident that white men have been on a 43 election win streak in America and that we just happened to not have any other demographic serve as commander in chief. Anyone who tells you different is lying or has agenda at play.

Black people have been voting for white people as long as they've had the opportunity to vote. In fact, black people have died, suffered through state-sponsored terrorism in opposition to their fundamental right to vote, and been openly intimidated at voting sites all in order to vote for white people (and I emphasize to vote for white people because it was never even a credible idea that they'd ever have the opportunity to vote for a black president to begin with at that juncture in time.)

Is there anyone who believes the Clintons themselves would be the Clintons as we know them and would have survived the witch hunts and vilifications of the 90's without they're most loyal constituency group, blacks. Blacks championed their cause when few others dared to. You might even chuckle at the notion NOW but we even fondly referred to him as the first black president we loved him so much. There's no denying the kinship between the two. Now this isn't some new revelation that we vote for white people historically, with the exception of 2008, I'd say that we've voted for white people to the tune of 95% of the time with the exception of Jesse Jackson in '84/'88 and I shake my head at what those guys were thinking wasting their vote on him, lol, but this is all lost when people bring up black support for Sen. Barack Obama.

Now to be sure, I am not arguing in favor of this candidate at this time as some sort of magnanimous gesture as a peace offering to blacks in electing Obama as the embodiment of a 'lifetime achievement award' for all they've gone through. I rail against that notion in sports when MVPs are bestowed upon undeserving athletes for a particular year they receive them when there are more deserving candidates and I reject that same notion in politics. That said, I don't doubt that there is a certain small amount of white liberals and black voters who have placed their votes with that in mind but to equate this in numbers or morality as a wash in comparison to what some white voters are doing is ridiculous.

Let me run some numbers by you. 221 & 37. If 37 people in a room of 258 started singing "Crank That Soulja Boy" and the rest started singing "Achy Breaky Heart" I guarantee if someone was walking by this building prevailing wisdom would lead them to think this was closer to a Country Ho-Down than a Hip-Hop club. The 37 people would be drowned out completely. Now lets flesh out those numbers a bit and assign values to them. The 37 is representative of the 37 million black people in America and the 221 is representative of the 221 million white people in America. Even if in the wildest most destructively imaginitive scenario you could think of where proportionately white angst about voting for the black candidate and black angst about voting for the white candidate (even though there has been very little proven that this has ever been the case) was an identical universal racial level as 30% of each group who voted that way it still isn't the same thing. The 30% of the white people would make their vote purely against the black candidate would amount to 66 million and the 30% of the black people who for whatever reason would vote against the white candidate would be 11.1 million. There's still an almost 55 million vote different that would probably swing the election one way rather than the other.

Apart from all the obvious things wrong with this scenario factually like blacks never having demonstrated a willingness historically to resist against the campaign of white candidates solely on the basis of race on almost all levels and how it's been seen time and time again the opposite way to the tune of there having only been three black senators in our nation's history since reconstruction and similarly only three black governors since reconstruction. Now to any fair minded person this is rooted in a racially polarized America unwilling to accept differences in the norm as fit to lead in a national government.

Now another interesting point to note that gets overlooked by people ready to perpetuate this myth about black people being monolithic and unable to be analytical and independent minded. Hillary was winning the black vote as recently as January of this year and had been consistently out polling Barack Obama by wide margins since they both declared. Things didn't even turn until this year (yes 2008) when Bill started getting out pocket and making loose comments and speaking in 'dog whistle' terms that were construed as racially loaded. He turned a lot of people off this cycle towards his wife alone not to mention Hillary herself having more than few WTF moments in there too (MLK Discounting/'I can get the white vote and Obama can't'/Obama was rolling with slum lords back in his 'hood in Chicago). So yes she tried to ghettoize an ivy league alumni and former member of the college professoriate and it looked bad.

To suggest that the racial element is a wash in this campaign is irresponsible and factually incorrect. Once again, anyone voting for Barack in the African-American community solely because he looks like them and against Hillary because she's white I say he doesn't need your vote and you should keep it. It's a stupid thing to do and it has no place in politics. There really are so many reasons as to vote for Obama and least of all of them should be his race. But the vast majority of his voters and I count myself among them aren't voting for him because of race but because of possibility.

Wednesday's Woman: Megalyn Echikunwoke

Let me just first off say to everybody, especially to the first time readers who this site has seen increased web traffic from this month, it's very very easy as you know to up the latest photos of the female-du-jour that everybody is swooning over every two weeks or every rap video or television show but to me, that's fairly boring and predictable and thus fairly predictable and I refuse to stand in line and do that. Especially since you're talking about a world where guys are the minority and there are so many many females deserving of our attention and collective adulation. So as it has been my side project to point out women who for the most part have been glossed over to the detriment of guys who appreciate good eye candy but instead get flooded with a select few women who are deemed the 'it' girls while people sleep on the females who are up and coming. So with that said, I present a name that isn't a household one but should and possibly could be soon, Megalyn Echikunwoke.

She's starred on such TV shows as 'the 4400' & '24'. I think I first saw her on an episode of 'The Steve Harvey Show' where she played his niece and subsequently Romeo's love interest. She was fine even back then. Today, she's an even bigger problem.

The thing about the women of the "Wednesday's Women" is you never know how people are going to accept each one you chose from week to week but I've been seeing a trend in increased traffic the last 5 Wednesdays that lead me to believe you trust/respect my judgment so let's hope for 6.

Also, guess who she's supporting for president:

Beautiful. Sensible. Classy.

Yeah, you can bring her home to meet momma...

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Tuesday's Top Ten: Overused Phrases or Words In The Black Community

  1. Y'ahmsayin (Rappers are paid to speak so in effect they ought to be masters of the english dictionary. By definition a lyricist ought to have a pretty firm grasp of the language with which he speaks and earns a living with, right? Well if you've heard a rapper talking to a reporter or another individual this is not the case. This word rears it's head at the end of sentences as if it were a period or some other sort of exclamation point. Do I know what you're saying? Are you seriously asking me this? I've just heard you talk for 5 minutes and go on and on about nothing at all and I'm not even sure you know what the hell you're saying. If you have to ask this question after expressing yourself then you've got some more work to do in making how you feel known.)
  2. Y'ahmean (this is cousin to previously stated 'y'ahmsayin' and just as ignorant.)
  3. Like (No lie, I've heard grown man say 'like' as if they were teenage white girls from Laguna Beach. It's only supposed to be used as a metaphorical term to stress likeness, rappers of all people ought to understand when this is most useful but always use and abuse the word with reckless abandonment.)
  4. 'At the End of the Day' (This is a phrase that basketball players and rappers alike use as often as air. So annoying. So stupid. At the end of the day shouldn't be used unless you're telling me that the sun sets or the store closes or something that actually occurs then. Black people are the only people that OD on this one right here. Seriously we need to let this one die.)
  5. I'm Saying (You're saying, I'm listening, we're all clear on what we're doing. No need on repeating this every five seconds.)
  6. 'Nuff Said (One of the all-time most cringe-worthy phrases to reach internet hip-hop messageboards ever. When someone is feeling themselves or what they just said so much they always use this like that puts the exclamation point on something. This is lame, people. Stop doing this to yourselves. Automatic loss to you, your mother, your father the doctor or midwife that delivered you and anyone else who had anything to do with your arrival into this world.)
  7. On Some ______ Shit (Rappers do this all the time. Very very annoying. Very unimaginative. You can almost insert any word in the blank and make a Hip-Hop safe/friendly word in perfect syntax. On some real shit, this shit sucks. Give it up.)
  8. You Feel Me (aka the Omar Little Syndrome)
  9. Basically (When you hear this word, you're almost certain to encounter some non-scientifc, fact deficient bullshit nonsense thereafter. The word itself implies that someone isn't giving you anything verbatim but instead is winging the next string of words off the top of their head.)
  10. Nigga (So easy, yet so unabashedly true. Nigga is pivotal to any conversation between black. It's such a mainstay that often times it slips out in talks with you and your white friends and makes things uncomfortable for a little bit. I'm not going to lie like I don't use the word too but since we can't quit it cold turkey we've got to really ween ourselves off of it. )

Barack Obama's Favorite/ Least Favorite Foods

So over at the NY Times I came across this little footnote of Barack's favorite and least favorite foods and drinks according to his right hand man, Reggie Love, as seen in the corresponding picture in between Barack and Chris Duhon of the Chicago Bulls. Reggie is Obama's weed-carrier for lack of a better term as he kind of gets whatever Barack wants when he wants it. There was "no job description whatsoever" when Mr. Love was hired, he said. "It was just like, 'You just go out there and -- Take. Care. Of. Stuff.' " Love, 26, is a former basketball and football player from Duke.

Anyway, the list:

LIKES

¶ Planters Trail Mix: Nuts, Seeds & Raisins

¶ Roasted almonds

¶ Pistachios

¶ Water

¶ Dentyne Ice

¶ Nicorette

¶ MET-Rx chocolate roasted peanut protein bars

¶ Vegetables, especially broccoli and spinach

¶ Handmade milk chocolates from Fran’s Chocolates in Seattle

DISLIKES

¶ Mayonnaise

¶ Salt and vinegar potato chips

¶ Asparagus (“if no other vegetables are available, he’ll eat it”)

¶ Soft drinks (he prefers water)


I'm actually very pleased Obama is a real dude. No genuine man's man would like Mayonnaise. Mayonnaise is the worst. That's not an opinion, that's a fact.

Best Block In The Playoffs Yet

Everyone that knows me know all I care about is what Paul Pierce does in the NBA which by proxy has made me a Boston Celtics fan for the past 8 years or so. They've been up and down in the playoffs this year and that's okay because I still got them beating Detroit in 7 and L.A in 6 but I have to give props where they're due and they're definitely due. My roommate used to always run into this guy out in Clifton (downtown Cincinnati) back when he used to play for the Cincinnati Bearcats and said dude was a good guy and I haven't been a Bearcats fan since the late 90's but I'm happy Jason Maxiell is coming along. I just wish it weren't at the expense of the Celtics.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Soulful Sunday


Chick is fine.

Looks like she' was plucked out of the 'Barker Girls' back in the day on "The Price Is Right". I miss Bob Barker. He was so much better than Drew Carey. I usually hold down people from Ohio. I'm loyal that way, but I just don't feel akin to this Drew Carey fellow. Plus he's from Cleveland and well, fuck Cleveland. LOL. Therefore:

Bob Barker > Drew Carey

So random, I know but anyway it's Sunday, I got great music, I got links to where to download it and you've got Ipods that could use this and you need to step your Itunes game up and download these (scroll over the songs for the links).

More later...

By the way, when you see artists that I feature that aren't household names, y'all really need to stop sleeping. If I'm featuring them then there's a reason. I mess with quality music. No need to skip those links. In the immortal words of a great philosopher, I think his name was Homer Simpson "I don't do things half-assed, I'm using my full ass." So download all the songs, give some of the names you're not familiar with a chance. I promise I won't let you down.

Yup.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong...

So two young white teenagers in Montreal, Canada confused the internet with the street and hurled racist epithets in a crowd of black people and well, the result is what you would expect. LOL



Who knew Canada was gully?

VH1 Coming With More Foolishness...

From the creators of shows about people that aren't famous for particularly anything at all [Shot @ Love w/ Tila Tequila, I Love New York, White Rapper Show] comes an even more desperate grab at fame in the form of some of the castaways from you guessed it Rock Of Love, Flavor of Love & I Love New York in a Real World/Road Rules Challenge format in a series of rigorous physical challenge in a quest to win $250,000. I'll let you watch the preview to this hot garbage...[shout to my dude e]

Friday, May 23, 2008

Hillary Hints At Possible Obama Assassination For Why She Stays In The Race



This is clumsy, inarticulate and I don't think she meant it and she probably is tired but this is bad and for the first time this campaign process I feel like I may sit out this election for the greater good.

I'm really starting to think short of Obama campaigning with Hacksaw Jim Duggan he's not going to quell the angst America has in voting for a person of color and that there are forces at work here that will likely do him in if he gets too close to the office. People are speaking in too many dog whistles right now. It's just not in this country to elect a non-white man. I'm starting to feel like to support Obama may actually be signing his death warrant. Unfortunately I couldn't support anybody left in the race so I may not even vote. I don't want to make his little girls orphans.

Black people can pay taxes like everybody else, follow the rule of law, work as hard as their white counterparts and earn all the rights afforded to them but being president isn't a realistic goal. Not in this country. Not at this time. It's just not going to happen and it's sad. [ChrisRock] Blacks can't teach their kids when they're young that sky's the limit in America, when you're black the limit is the sky. [/ChrisRock]

My man Keith with his special commentary tonight on this episode:

Minor League Player Traded For 10 Bats

McALLEN (AP) ―

Even though small independent baseball leagues notoriously try to draw fans with promotions like "vasectomy night" and "midget wrestling," these two teams had good reason to swap a right-handed pitcher for 10 bats.

The Calgary Vipers of the Golden Baseball League couldn't get newly signed pitcher John Odom into Canada for immigration reasons. And the Laredo Broncos of the United League were willing to take a cheap gamble on a pitcher.

Oh, and the Vipers really, really wanted some new bats.

And so Odom, about a month after being acquired by a Canadian team, found himself Tuesday on the roster of a team on the Mexican border. All for the price of 10 Prairie Sticks Maple Bats, double-dipped black 34-inch C243 style.

"They just wanted some bats, good bats -- maple bats," Broncos General Manager Jose Melendez said Friday.

According to the Prairie Sticks Web site, their maple bats retail for $69 a piece, discounted to $65.50 for purchases of six to 11 bats.

The Vipers had signed Odom, but it seems Odom had a "minor," but unspecified, criminal record that he did not reveal to immigration officials before they scanned his passport, Vipers President Peter Young said.

Calgary found the Broncos were willing to take Odom, but the Vipers weren't interested in any of the Laredo players. Plus, it would have cost Calgary $1,000 to fly any new player in from Laredo. Laredo offered cash, but Young said that was "an insult."

The bat trade wasn't the first time Calgary tried some creative deal-making. The Vipers once tried to acquire a pitcher for 1,500 blue seats when they were renovating their field, Young said.

As for Odom -- who did not immediately return a call for comment -- he's scheduled to be activated Monday. And he'll get his first start Wednesday, Melendez said.

"It will be interesting to see what 10 bats gets us," he said.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Politics, Race & What Hillary Should Do

This right here is real talk. You've got three minutes and you know it so listen up.

In Memoriam...

“But I also sing, ‘If you admire someone you should tell ‘em/No one get flowers when they can still smell 'em" - Kanye


Anyone that knows me on the internet and in real life knows that I been down with Aaliyah for as long as I've been black. LOL, okay maybe not that long but since the early early 90's I knew who she was (Star Search) and had a thing for her. It wasn't just a pretty face with a tolerable sound to me. She was beauty and talent. A musical rarity.
Nobody was as sad as me when I got that call in '01 in the middle of the night when my best friend woke me up with that news that August of her plan crashing and her passing in the Bahamas. As much as anyone I've never known or or had the pleasure of meeting but admired from afar and I felt something for on a personal level including MLK I genuinely cared for her. Nobody before or since her could you say she mimicked or sounded like which is a rarity in recent music history.

In her honor, here are most of her unreleased and rare tracks that I've compiled in the preceding years.

Aaliyah & Outsiders 4 Life - Ain't Never
Aaliyah - Death Of A Playa
Aaliyah - Givin' Up
Aaliyah - Hot Like Fire (MTV Version)
Aaliyah - John Blaze
Aaliyah - Sancta Maria
Aaliyah f/ Missy Elliott - Where Could He Be
Aaliyah f/ Missy Elliott- Best Friends
Aaliyah - Stickin Chickens
Aaliyah f/ Playa - One Man Woman
Aaliyah - Steady Ground
Aaliyah - Man Undercover

and finally a song that she was working on when she passed that she wasn't afforded the time to complete entitled "Time" that eerily and ironically refrains in the chorus words that in retrospect were unfortunately foreshadowing in nature

Aaliyah - Time


Also, if you haven't already done so go cop the May/June icon edition of Fader Magazine with the special Aaliyah tribute on the inside and with her on the cover. A lot of industry people and those closest to her candidly speak about her and how and what they knew of her personally and professionally.


Damn R.Kelly Is Fucked

Wow. He keeps having too many days like this in the courtroom and he'll be on the wrong end of some sex......in jail.


CHICAGO — "I kind of know her like the back of my hand."

Sitting on the witness stand, a 24-year-old woman named Simha Jamison told the court how she was able to identify the girl on the sex tape at the heart of R. Kelly's child-pornography trial: They were best friends.

She also said the man on the tape is Kelly.

Jamison was among a string of witnesses on Wednesday (May 21) who identified the girl and Kelly on the sex tape, as Jamison's legal guardian, Peter Thomas, and two of the girl's relatives also took the stand. The girl's uncle, Ben Edwards Sr., and her aunt, Edwards' former wife and Chicago police officer Delores Gibson, both testified that they first saw the tape at a December 2001 family meeting held by Ben's sister, Stephanie "Sparkle" Edwards, to discuss legal options. That was about a month and a half before an anonymous copy was sent to the Chicago Sun-Times.

Upon hearing that Sparkle, a former protégé of Kelly's, instigated the meeting and had a copy of the tape in her possession at the time, defense attorney Ed Genson became very antagonistic toward Edwards, to the point that Edwards began answering "I don't recall" to every question about who was in the room when the tape was played. Genson suggested that if Edwards couldn't remember who was there, how could he know who was on the tape at all?

"She's my niece; she's my blood," Edwards retorted. "Why wouldn't I remember her?"

"OK, so your memory is bad," Genson said.

"Am I on trial here?" Edwards asked. "I told the truth. It looks like [my niece] is on the tape. It looks like R. Kelly is on the tape."

Defense attorney Sam Adam Jr. attacked Gibson for not taking the tape from Sparkle to give to the police and instead advising the girl's mother to see a lawyer. Toward the end of his cross-examination of her, he accused Gibson of conspiring with Sparkle to extort Kelly, and of going public when that failed. "You and Sparkle had that tape sent to the Sun-Times, didn't you?" he asked. "No," she said.

Jamison made the strongest witness, retaining her composure throughout. She did not allow Adam to rattle her on cross-examination. She testified that she and the girl had been best friends approximately since the summer after third grade until six years ago. The two girls rode bikes, rollerbladed, played basketball and went shopping together when they hung out, which was "every day," she said

Through her best friend, Jamison said, she also met R. Kelly (godfather to the girl allegedly in the video). The two girls often went places where Kelly played basketball (at a gym called Hoops) and recorded music (at a studio called Trax), as well as his home, including a sauna room known as the "Colorado Room." Frequently, when her friend visited her godfather, Jamison testified, she saw him give her money: "no less than 100 and no more than 500 [dollars]." The exact amount was disputed on cross-examination.

During Jamison's junior year of high school, she said she saw a sex tape at a friend's home, and recognized the two individuals on the tape. "I thought she looked just like my best friend ... (and) her godfather R. Kelly."

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Wednesday's Woman: Iva La'Shawn

Iva La'Shawn is an actress/comedian from Springfield, OH about an hour and a half or so from my hometown of Cincinnati. She's been in a handful of movies now and found a moderate amount of respect which is saying a lot coming from a small town in Ohio and being in SoulPlane *cringes*. (We all make mistakes)

But I digress, this woman is phenomenal on the eyes. She's kind of like Eva Pigford but more pure. I always thought Eva was cool but something about her seemed less than top shelf. Could never put my finger on it though. I don't get that with Iva though. Iva & Eva. Almost like they could be sisters. LOL.

Anyway, I've always thought she was stunning but it was just one of those things were I never thought of following up on my instincts and getting anymore information or looking up any pictures after the movie I watched with her in it was over. Well The Wash just came on television and I figured there's no time like the present. Enjoy.

Top Ten: Overachievers w/ Their Women

The theme of today's Top Ten comes from the notion of winning. The opposite of losing. The other end of the spectrum of Nas, the woman from the video below and what usher did when he left that pine piece of woman named Chilli for the rabid wombat with whom he fathered a child with in Tameka Foster. I'm making this list, in the truest since of winning which doesn't always have to do with the looks of the woman but the status of the guy too. Such as Jay-Z definitely won snagging Beyonce. Everybody knows that. Jay has been likened to a camel and rightly so but Jay isn't some vagabond. The dude is part owner of an NBA Franchise. His net worth is closer to a billion than a bum. Plus he's successful and in Ms. Knowles absence he probably doesn't have a hard time finding a fine girl to fill her place. So he doesn't make this list. With this as a backdrop I give you the Top Ten Winners:

1.) Sheldon Williams

When you look like this:you might have a better chance of being a Youtube sensation (see: Eli Porter) than co-star of a couple with Candace Parker but Sheldon achieved. Sheldon must have game, definitely definitely not on the hardwood, but in life. NBA players no matter how scrubbish you are get broke off no doubt. According to more than a few NBA sites he's worth $ 6.1 million which isn't bad. Fact is, he walks into any mall in America he could walk out with a few nice looking girls on the strength of his Black Card but he didn't pull one of these golddigging women, he pulled Candace Parker. Professional WNBA Player. Adidas & Gatorade Endorsemee. Model.

That money Sheldon got might impress broke women but it wouldn't impress her. She's not hurting for money. in the face of cynicism, Sheldon won what appears to me as a victory that surpasses any other win to my knowledge. You have to go back to Stedmond (Oprah's former beau) to find another brotha that got over in life more than him and that's a tempered analogy when you consider Oprah was just successful with no looks. Candace got both.

Sheldon won.

2.) Eddie Murphy

This is really more of a lifetime achievement award moreso than relating to any one incident really but to have gotten his wife (also known as Michael Strahan's girlfriend), Scary Spice, & Tracey Edmonds you've won. No denying that. This kind of performance makes up for all the shitty movies he's compiled since 2000, the transvestite citation and the slump his career has been in. We questioned what team you were playing on in the 90's, Eddie. We in the black community didn't know there for a while but you have really come through the last several years with the women. Kudos to you Buddy Love. LOL

3.) Nick Lachey

Jessica Simpson to Vanessa Minillo. Look I'm not saying Jessica Simpson wasn't attractive. She's cool. Jessica Simpson can sing and she looks good in a pair of shorts but she's vanilla on the whole. Plus Vanessa was a Miss America winner I do believe. It just isn't some bias I have in deference to her, although I admit Minillo has been a personal favorite for many years, but Simpson can't compete with that. Nick was in desperate need of a win as I heard somewhere that he didn't sign a prenuptial with Jessica before their marriage as at the time he was banking more than her, but when they divorced he ended up getting half of her inflated funds which is a universal bad look. Men who receive alimony aren't men. But somehow dude rose up and regained control of his manhood and wifed up Vanessa Minillo. That's a win.


4.) Al Reynolds

Star Jones to Single. No further explanation needed.

5.) Marc Anthony
A lot of people front and act like Jennifer Lopez wasn't the hottest chick on the planet for a little while back in the day. There's no denying that. He who shall wife J.Lo shall win. That's without a doubt. Everybody who was with Jennifer Lopez has yet to bounce back quality wise. Diddy went from J.Lo back to Kim Porter. Downgrade. Ben Afflack went from J.Lo to Jennifer Garnder. Downgrade. Marc saw the writing on the wall and just said, I'm probably not going to find equal value elsewhere so he married and had babies with Ms. Lopez and all this despite the fact that he looks like a wet rat or a rotting zombie corpse depending on whose accessing the situation. I mean body, looks and stature. Marc Anthony is by no means justifiably with Jennifer. There's no rational argument why he's with her but he is. He won.

6.) Michael Douglas

The man is with Catherine Zeta Jones. Now this is a little further down the Top Ten list because Michael Douglas is an OG in the line of OGs in his own right. His father is after all Kirk Douglas so he was sprinkled with game from an early age but Catherine Zeta Jones is quality. She's respected as an actress in her own right and exotic to boot and Michael Douglas made that catch. The man is 63 with a 38 year old dimepiece. To give you some perspective, he's got a 30 year old son whose almost as old as his step mom and who I guarantee has a significant other whose definitely not as bad as the chick his old man pulled. Mike ain't even out there all over the top with his either. He's not at Nets games sitting front row with his or attending the Derby with his wife, no Michael is somewhere hiding from the cameras winning privately and to himself, laughing like he's in on an inside joke the rest of us aren't included in.

Touche Michael. Touche.

7.) Kobe Bryant

I despise Kobe. I think he's arrogant, largely overrated and poorly represented by his boisterous, over-the-top cultists and his winning a championship this year would be akin to Iraq winning the war in the middle east. The war against Kobe Stans (Terrorism) is very real. The Lakers must not win it all this year. Can you imagine the madness in the streets if the Lakers win the championship this year? The kind of bedlam and hyperbole written about him will have no end. There will be no offseason this year.We'll go from Kobe in the Finals to Kobe for GOAT to Kobe solves the Democratic Nomination and becomes the Nominee of the party for President to Kobe in the Olympics to how does Kobe respond to such a great season in '07-'08 in '08-'09.

If the Kobe Stans win, the world loses. Kobe Stans are al-Queda.

But that said, Kobe won even if he doesn't play another basketball game.

The man went from being linked to Brandy to his gorgeous wife even if he tried his best to fuck it all up in 2004 in Denver, CO. That was stupid, poorly conceived and he's lucky she didn't leave him, break him off financially (she'd get half) and expose him to the rest of the world as a selfish, dumb asshole who only cares about Kobe. Which is most certainly is. She could have done that but she put arms around him in public, stood by her guy, publicly gave him strength and bore him two cute kids and didn't allow him to lose it all when all around him his life was crumbling. Not only is the woman fine, but she's classy and has exhibited more character than Kobe ever dreamed he'd have.

Kobe's got money. Kobe could probably get other fine women, even though from some of the leaked photos of the 19 year old from his Colorado frolic that might be a stretch, but it would be hard for Kobe to replicate that kind of quality of person elsewhere.

8.) Jermaine Dupri

Look I'm going to make this plain and simple.

She gains nothing financially from being with him. They're bank accounts is probably a wash.

She looks like this and he looks like a bug.



They're both about the same age.

Dupri overachieved.

He won.

9.) Curtis Conway

I remember Curtis Conway vaguely as a wide receiver who sucked. He played in the NFL for a few seasons and left the game and no one cared. So tell me this, how does he end up with Laila Ali at the end of the day? Can anyone explain that one to me? He looks like a beat up Quentin Richardson. She looks like Heaven. It makes no sense. Plus she's probably got more money than him. No lie. Boggles the mind.

10.) Kevin Federline

Time hasn't been necessarily kind to Mrs. Spears but there's no denying this was one of the biggest wins in the history of man. Kevin Federline had no business pumping gas for Britney let alone shattering a generation of young men's dreams and getting with her in her prime. She was universally regarded as top of the line quality and on everybody's short list of women back then and Kevin's bum ass took home the gold prize. He hasn't done anything more than my next door neighbor and he took home one of the dopest chicks of my time. He went from Shar Jackson to Britney Spears.

I believe in miracles, not because of of the 2004 Boston Red Sox or Santa Claus but because of Kevin Federline.